Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn about 10 subtle signs
you can’t trust someone. Now, let’s begin.
1. Social Cruelty Do you know someone who mistreats their
friends? Maybe you know someone whose personality changes behind closed doors? Untrustworthy people
wear two faces. In public, they put on a mask. They’re kind and polite. They smile and laugh,
but in private they can be cruel to the people who love them most. You may catch them making fun of
their friends. They enjoy making their partners or family members uncomfortable. In some cases,
they use their friends as scapegoats and harshly criticize their shortcomings.
If you want to know what someone is really like, look past their public persona.
Anyone can wear a fake smile and act like a good, trustworthy person. But trustworthy people don’t
change their personalities in private. They’re not cruel to their friends or critical of their
loved ones. If you know someone who is two-faced, be careful, because this person can’t be trusted.
2. Flip Flopping Untrustworthy people are the
first to change sides. One moment, they’re your fiercest ally. They swear they have your back.
But as soon as the going gets tough, they run for the hills. Their opinions flip-flop, and
they pretend like they had nothing to do with you. Flip-floppers are afraid of pressure and attracted
to convenience. They’re always looking for the easiest route, even if that means
betraying their allies. Any promises made by a flip-flopper are worthless. The moment
they find a more convenient solution, they will leave you in the dust and break their promises.
So how do you know if someone is a flip-flopper? You may have heard them changing their opinions
before. Or maybe you’re caught them contradicting themselves. A flip-flopper will give two different
stories to two different people. They’re unreliable and opportunistic. They succeed
by mooching off others’ success, and they don’t care how many people they hurt in the process.
Don’t let these unreliable people take advantage of you. If you know someone who frequently changes
their mind, don’t give them your trust. Because something will go wrong. When that happens,
a flip-flopper can and will turn against you. 3. People Pleasing
There’s no one more shameless than a people-pleaser. These underhanded characters
will do anything to attract positive attention. They need everyone to like them, especially
people with power, wealth, or influence. Because they’re desperate to be liked,
these people go out of their way to make others comfortable. They’ll do unnecessary
favors. They’ll echo your opinions, and they’ll ride your coattails for as long as they can.
To put it simply, people pleasers do not have a code of their own.
They rarely think about their values or develop their integrity, because people-pleasers define
themselves by their social success. In other words, they base their entire lives around
the opinions of people they may or may not know. Even though people pleasers think they’re moving
up in the world, they’re doing more harm than good. Many people-pleasers feel dissatisfied
with their lives. They don’t have an identity of their own, so their lives revolve around others.
Pay attention to people who are suspiciously generous. On the surface, you may think, “what
a nice person,” but that’s what a people pleaser wants you to think. They want to seem generous,
altruistic, and selfless. They want to look like your friend and your ally. But they’re not.
They’re looking out for themselves, and most of the time… they can’t be trusted.
4. Stubborn Defenses Do you know someone who
refuses to explain themselves? This is common among untrustworthy people. They don’t like to
answer questions or explain their choices, often because they’re hiding something.
If they explain themselves, they may give away their secret agenda. They don’t want to expose
their real motivations, so they get defensive. You may hear them say things like,
“why should I have to explain myself to you!?” or, “why are you being so nosey?” But you’re not being
nose. They’re trying to turn the situation on you. They want to draw attention away from themselves.
Trustworthy people don’t mind explaining themselves. They’ll answer questions
because they have nothing to hide. There’s no secret agenda. No suspicious motivations.
Let’s say you’re wondering why someone arrived late for work. A trustworthy person might say,
“I overslept and got here as fast as I could.” They answer questions and admit their mistakes
because they don’t mind explaining the truth. But what about someone you can’t
trust? An untrustworthy person refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes. They will not
offer a clear explanation because they may have something to hide.
5. Second-Guessing Have you ever gotten a
“bad feeling” about someone? Sometimes, your brain picks up signals you don’t consciously recognize.
Let’s say you’re meeting someone for a date when you can get a bad
feeling in the pit of your stomach. You find yourself second-guessing their decisions.
Even though they haven’t done anything wrong, you inexplicably doubt everything they say.
Does that mean this person is untrustworthy? Not necessarily, but there’s a reason you’re
getting a bad feeling. Your mind is perceiving all kinds of subtle signals, many of which you would
never notice. Your brain can sense things like dismissive body language and emotional distance.
Over time, your brain collects these subtle signals and generates an impression based
on a combination of instinct and observation.
So how do you know if you can trust someone? Go with your gut.
You may not be right 100% of the time, but your instincts are more accurate than you realize.
6. Stealing Credit Have you ever stolen credit for something
someone else has done? Most people haven’t. Maybe this thought has never even crossed your mind.
Why would you take credit for something you didn’t do? Obviously, that would be wrong,
but untrustworthy people do it all the time. They’re only looking out for themselves. They
only care about their personal success, so they habitually steal credit for other’s
accomplishments. They don’t stop to think about the people they’re hurting. When they see an
opportunity to shine, they’ll always take it, even if that opportunity is not theirs to take.
The same thing happens when they fail. If an untrustworthy person makes a mistake,
they attribute their mistake to anyone but themselves. They’ll do anything to save their
reputation, and they never take responsibility for their failures. Most of the time, they’ll pretend
like they did nothing. They act like their success is all their own. But you both know it isn’t.
Keep an eye out for these manipulative people. You’ll meet them in the workplace,
in social groups, and in the dating scene. But don’t get too close. Because as soon as you do
something worth stealing, this person will steal it for themselves.
7. Breaching Confidentiality Some people cannot keep secrets.
They reveal information by accident. They crack under pressure. And your secrets come pouring out.
But when they do spill your secrets, every terrible secret-keeper has one thing
in common. They feel bad about this. They feel a strong sense of guilt. They wanted to protect
your confidential information, but they failed. These people may have a big mouth, but they
are generally trustworthy. If someone feels guilty for betraying your trust,
that person must care about your friendship. But what about people who don’t experience guilt?
What about people who spill your secrets for fun? These characters are dangerous and untrustworthy.
They act like your friend. They want to hear your secrets, but as soon as you leave the room…
they turn on you. They spill your confidential information to anyone who will listen.
Untrustworthy people use their friends as a source of entertainment. They like to
spill secrets and stir up drama because it makes their lives more interesting.
They don’t care about losing your trust. Chances are, they don’t value your friendship.
They use your secrets to get attention, create conflict, and bolster their reputation. In
their mind, there’s nothing more fun than gossiping about your embarrassing secrets.
8. Absence of Trust If someone can be trusted, they will
trust others. Someone who believes in trust values the same characteristic in their relationship.
But what about someone who does not trust anyone they meet?
Untrustworthy people rarely trust others because they know how easy it is to break a promise. So,
they’re secretive about their personal lives. They don’t open up to others, and they rarely invest
in the friendships they make. In other words, they don’t receive trust because they don’t give trust.
Instead, they expect their trust to be broken. They expect everyone to go back
on their word. If everyone is untrustworthy, they can justify their own broken promises.
9. Total Disinterest Are your friends interested in your life?
If someone is untrustworthy, they rarely show interest in anyone but themselves.
They make decisions without considering the feelings of others.
They may be careless with your emotions, and they may not realize how their actions affect others.
These untrustworthy people live life with blinders on. They only pay attention to their needs and
their feelings. But it’s almost impossible to build trust without caring for someone else. To
trust someone, you need to believe they will not endanger your friendship. You must believe they
care enough about you to consider your feelings. But careless people don’t think about how
you might be feeling. They’ll betray your trust without giving it a second thought.
10. Ignoring Privacy Untrustworthy people will
violate your personal space. They don’t ask permission to borrow your things.
They may walk into your house when you’re not home or disregard your wishes for space or privacy.
To put it simply, these people don’t view the two of you as equals. In their mind,
your friendship revolves around their life. You exist to support or entertain them. They
feel like they own you, so they ignore your boundaries and violate your privacy.
These people are blatantly disrespectful of your time, your money, and your possessions.
They may break something you own or mistreat something you cherish.
But trust is more fragile than anything you own. If they cannot care for your things,
they cannot protect your friendship either. Thank you for watching TopThink,
and be sure to subscribe, because more incredible content is on the way.