Hi, I’m Dr. Laurie Santos,
professor of psychology and cognitive science at Yale University,
and in this video I’ll discuss several things we can do
to increase our happiness, according to empirical research.
Like most of us, Maya believes that the key to happiness
is to better the material conditions of her life.
Despite her successes, though, Maya still isn’t very happy.
Turning to empirical research for guidance,
Maya was initially disheartened to discover lots of evidence
that material gains don’t really lead to increased happiness.
Fortunately, happiness research doesn’t only give us bad news.
It also identifies some highly effective ways to increase our happiness.
One of the biggest obstacles to gaining happiness
through material improvements is that, after an initial happiness bump,
our minds play a trick on us:
they get quickly used to our improved conditions,
dropping our happiness back down to its pre-bump level.
Researchers call this trick “hedonic adaptation,”
and studies show that countering hedonic adaptation
is an important key to happiness.
As Maya learns about all the practices that counter hedonic adaptation,
two of them in particular remind her of things that her friend Kathy does.
And Kathy is a very happy person.
One of these practices is “savoring,”
which is like “stepping outside” of a good experience as you’re having it,
to become more fully aware of and appreciative of what it’s really like.
It’s what Kathy did
when she and Maya walked through the park the last time they met.
While Maya was busy wishing the weather were warmer
and worrying about work deadlines,
Kathy was soaking up the spring sun,
pointing out all the blooming flowers,
and stopping to watch some baby squirrels play.
Even weeks later, Kathy’s voice was filled with joy as she recalled that day.
Another practice Kathy does a lot
is expressing gratitude for the good things in her life.
And not just for the big things, like being alive and healthy.
Kathy gives thanks even for the small things
like a good hair day,
an interesting chat with a store clerk
or even the sighting of baby squirrels.
There was even one time when Kathy and Maya were stuck in terrible traffic,
and Kathy declared her appreciation for having a car to drive
and a friend to sit through traffic with.
These expressions of gratitude usually strike Maya as cheesy
but she now acknowledges the evidence
that gratitude is another powerful practice
for countering hedonic adaptation and boosting our happiness.
Studies show that when people do regular gratitude exercises,
like writing about things they were grateful for in the past week,
they receive many many benefits.
They feel happier about their lives and more optimistic about their future.
But they also feel fewer physical ailments,
make better progress towards personal goals,
and have better interpersonal relationships.
These are amazing results that also boost happiness indirectly.
A second major obstacle to our happiness
is how we’re always comparing ourselves to others,
often unreasonably.
We watch TV, and then feel worse about our less glamorous looks and lifestyle;
we browse people’s social media feeds and then wish we were doing what they’re doing.
Once other people enter our view,
it’s extremely difficult to avoid treating them as reference points for comparison,
especially if they seem better off.
So the best strategy is to control who we expose ourselves to in the first place
or, if necessary, to redirect our attention.
Maya’s always struggled with unhealthy social comparisons,
and she realizes this is another way Kathy’s habits align well
with research recommendations.
Kathy’s never been big on social media,
and has always preferred shows about people
with more realistic salaries, bodies, and lives,
to say shows like The Real Housewives.
And whenever Kathy does fall into unhelpful comparisons,
she’s able to notice it and change her focus.
Like when Kathy started envying her coworker
who’d gotten tickets to the sold-out show of Kathy’s favorite band.
As he raved about the show,
Kathy shifted her attention to how his exhaustion from the late night
was causing embarrassing mistakes at work
and how the expensive tickets meant he had to eat Top Ramen for a whole month.
Soon it didn’t seem as bad that she’d missed out on the show.
Maya appreciates the value of Kathy's habits
but they seem to demand a lot more self-awareness and attention control
than she can muster.
So what’s Kathy’s secret?
Well, after her high school counselor told her that meditation relieves anxiety,
Kathy decided to learn mindfulness meditation.
She began by sitting for 10-15 minutes every day,
focusing on her breath, and noticing when her mind wandered,
so she could bring it back into focus.
Over time, she developed the ability to notice and control her attention
even in her everyday life.
As Maya considers signing up for a meditation group,
she continues reviewing happiness studies.
She finally finds some happiness practices
that feel more natural to her.
For example,
Maya already feels pretty comfortable approaching life with a growth mindset
rather than a fixed mindset.
This is great because people who adopt a growth mindset,
who see their intelligence, character, and other qualities
as things they can cultivate through hard work
those people are usually happier than people who adopt a fixed mindset
who see their qualities as set in stone.
Even when something goes badly,
people with a growth mindset focus on how to grow from it.
They focus on things they can control,
which gives them a greater sense of freedom
and a greater ability to achieve their goals.
Maya’s been especially good at keeping a growth mindset at work.
Now she’s eager to apply it more in her personal life too.
But what most resonates with Maya
are the studies showing that we can significantly increase our happiness
by performing acts of kindness for others.
Although she’s often distracted by the stresses of her life,
few things bring Maya more joy than when she’s making other people’s lives better,
whether that's with a smile, a gift, or a shoulder to cry on.
And so Maya knows where to start on her empirically informed pursuit of happiness:
Kathy’s favorite band is on tour again,
and Maya’s decided to surprise her friend with two front row tickets!
Which happiness practice fits you best?
What step will you take next in your pursuit of greater happiness?