- What I wanna know for you guys is,
if you were going to hear a rap about anything in the world,
what would it be about?
So if you think of a word, topic or a phrase,
you'd like a rap about.
- [Heckler] Global Warming. There are some rules.
One second!
There are some rules.
Oh, Jesus Christ, also,
technically it's climate change, okay?
(loud laughter)
The warming and the cooling happen simultaneously,
in different places, sir.
But, we'll come back to you.
Be creative. Be imaginative.
Don't just say dogs and pizza, okay?
So, my man who said global warming, be more specific.
What about global warming?
Yeah we caught him out on that one, didn't we?
(applause)
He doesn't know the Paris Agreement.
He doesn't know what the COP summit is.
Right, so- - [Heckler] Ice caps!
- Ice caps? Cool.
Global warming. Ice caps.
See, someone whispered,
and he was like, isn't that a sports team?
And they're like yeah.
Global warming. Ice caps.
He knows the buzzwords.
Let's come to the people in this corner of the room.
What would you like a rap about?
- [Lady] Vaccination.
- Vaccination? Cool.
What about vaccination?
(laughter)
Are you as uninformed as the global warming person?
Come on.
- [Man] Child support.
- Child support and vaccination.
Yeah, whatever that means.
Okay.
Okay. Vaccination, child support, global warming, ice caps.
Middle of the room. Would you like a rap about?
- [Man 2] Chris Rock.
- Well, no, because he's here.
- [Lady 2] Allergies.
- Okay, yeah, great suggestion.
What allergy do you have?
- [Lady 2] Pollen and sneezing.
- Pollen and sneezing?
One is an allergy, the other is a symptom,
you'd be surprised.
And then let's come to the back corner.
What would you like a freestyle about?
- [Man 3] English people, and their obsession with tea.
- English people, and their obsession with tea?
I do hope you are Indian,
otherwise that was the most effective accent,
I've ever heard.
If that's a white guy doing that, oh my God.
Okay, English people and their obsession with tea.
So this then, lovely people,
to close out the show, is a freestyle,
that's a rap made up on the spot,
based entirely on suggestions.
Let's get this-
Oh my gosh. You are the most helpful person ever.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate that.
It's a rap about global warming, and the ice caps,
about vaccination, child support,
English people, and their obsession with tea,
and allergies and sneezing.
And don't worry, won't be anyone here
who is atrociously bad,
if you're expecting a privately educated,
middle-class, white, British boy to be.
(audience whooping)
(beat "Arc" by Lethal Needle begins)
Let's have some fun.
Nice.
Drop it off, yeah.
Feeling up the nice raps,
turning up the heat like I'm burning down the ice caps.
All the arctic flows, I'll amaze ya.
Coming down, turning to water, out from the glaciers.
Meet me up in the arctic or antarctica,
it's where the global warming starts for sure.
It starts to figure out how low the current stopping dead.
Never get any warm water touching their hair,
on the beach, on your toes, on the sand.
Sea level rising.
Only York. Never understand, New York,
in about 20 years,
I thought of, never buy property
It's covered in water.
That's the warning.
The global warming.
We know it's gonna happen, guys.
Yeah, it's a sure thing. You're lying now.
We've got another 15. Now, about 10 or 12.
If you're shifty,
look to the left, then the judge's like nah,
never get the custody of kids. Not allowed.
If you don't drop the cash, you can't report,
and show them your bank accounts,
child support, is never coming for you.
Let me tell you what to do.
Hire a private detective,
Hire a little white sleuth.
Tell him to go and check out your wife's dumpster,
and maybe pull, used condoms from there.
Be like, she's full of impropriety.
And if you can get a little detective,
to see, provide you,
we can with your kids,
and if you get that,
then I'll tell you what you did.
You got to take them to McDonald's,
give them all the happy meal.
They're like yay, I finally feel,
in love with my dad.
He's ever so cool.
Moving over here,
you got to send them to school.
They probably got to get that vaccine.
All the right-wing people on Twitter,
not keen, they be like, no.
It's unproven, I hate.
I don't want a microchip done by Bill Gates.
And they're under 12. Shouldn't be inside there.
Who's owning Moderna and Pfizer?
Probably, all of the people.
I know people think the vaccines are evil,
but don't worry.
You're not going to get an allergic reaction.
Well, not quite yet,
unless you get the Johnson and Johnson,
and blood clot in the neck.
AstraZeneca you're going down,
holy heck.
The person in the corner,
right to my side, they're like,
I hate it, when I go outside.
All the pollen from the grass,
the pollen from the trees,
would it stop, please.
When it comes out, I just sneeze.
Ah, I've got a headache,
I think I should go and get my favorite medicine,
and treat it.
I'm walking into the pharmacy.
I'm walking into CVS, at Walgreens.
And I hate it.
In December when it's so green.
All of the pollen, I swallow in my passages,
and then the guy in the corner, here,
he's telling it.
He does the accent,
which I can't repeat,
He's like, why do English people love their tea?
Well I'll tell ya,
we're really into it.
We love tea, that we got shipped from India.
You were growing it up, in the sun, in the water.
And we were like, ooh, yes, I should report a
really great yield for the queen.
Send it right back.
Did you enjoy the tea, ma'am?
She says, yes, I do.
So go and pillage.
And then we invaded and destroyed every village.