(light music)
- Hey everyone, it's your girl Jenn and today,
I wanted to film a really chill heart to heart
about the topic of age pressure.
It's something that I really struggled with
and I know I'm not alone because every culture
has societal expectations they put on us.
Like, we need to be at a certain place
when we reach a specific age.
For example, there are some parts of the world
where a woman is actually considered expired
if they're not married by the age of 30
and that just bewilders me, it's insane
and I'm so happy that I've partnered with SK2
to talk about this subject.
So I recently saw SK2's video called The Expiry Date
and I found it really moving because it really hit
all the societal expectations and norms they put on women,
whether it's finding a boyfriend on time,
having a baby at a certain age and it made me really reflect
on all of the times I felt pressured to make huge decisions
in my life just because I reached a certain age.
One of the earliest signs of age pressure
was when I turned 18.
18 is the age where you're an official adult
and you're supposed to be, you know, going to college,
you're supposed to have moved out of your parents' place
but I was in community college.
I didn't get accepted to any of the schools I wanted to
and so I felt like I was at this deficit
trying to catch up with everybody and it was very panicky.
I was able to find a creative outlet,
which was creating YouTube videos so me and Sarah
started our YouTube channel, Clothes Encounters,
and it felt so good to have this release
where we would just get together every weekend,
film videos about our fashion and lifestyle
and it was great and honestly, it was truly
my light at that weird time in my life
and so I just continued to swing both
and then I transferred.
I transferred to UC Davis and when I finally got in
to that school, I felt this big release.
I felt like I was finally on track.
I was good for two years until it was about time
to graduate.
My parents started asking me, "Oh, like, Jenny,
do you, like, are you gonna apply for jobs up there
or down there, are you gonna stop doing
your YouTube channel?"
And I, honestly, didn't know whether I wanted
to go the traditional route or the riskier route.
I went with my gut because I just knew YouTube
made me so happy and if I was gonna fail
at doing something I loved, I would rather do that
so I went with YouTube and, honestly,
22 to 24 was a very bright time in my life.
I felt strong, I felt independent,
I was living in Oakland and it just felt amazing.
So fast forward to when I turned 25,
I was back in Los Angeles and suddenly,
I had my quote, unquote, quarter life crisis
and it happened because my manager and my agent
started to ask me more questions about where my channel
was going or what I would turn my business into
and I felt this pressure to figure out everything
all over again and so the Virgo in me started
to plan maniacally.
I created this very extensive five year plan
of all these goals I wanted to hit,
like I wanted to buy a house, I wanted to have
a retirement plan, I wanted to retire my parents,
I wanted to have my channel at a certain place
and it just felt like so much pressure
and, for me, a lot of my pressures came from my career
and for every woman it's different, like,
I saw this Vanity Fair interview where they interviewed
four amazing women in the digital space,
including my girl, Aimee Song, and they all explained
different pressures that they were faced with.
So for some of them, it was to get married
at a certain age, it was to have children at a certain age
or to have their business sold at a certain age
and so for every person it's different
but those pressures are still there.
I felt like I had to make it by the time I was 30 on YouTube
because I was terrified that the older I got,
the more irrelevant I would become on YouTube
and when it was, like, 2015, 2016, there was this flux
of all these young YouTubers and it was the first time
where I was like, whoa, like, I am getting older.
I just felt so insecure and unhappy with myself
and my channel because I feel like my channel
and myself, they really bleed in together
and so if one is not doing well, then I'm not,
and maybe on the outside, it seemed like everything
was fine when I was 26 but it was a lot of
instability and unhappiness with myself.
Comparison is truly the thief of joy and I know
with social media these days, it's so pervasive
and everything's always in your face and you just can't help
to compare your life with someone else's
but that's when I knew I had to stop this delusion
because everybody's journey is completely different.
Just because one person has done this at a certain age
doesn't mean that you have to.
We're all on our own paths and I knew I had to change,
I knew on my 27th birthday, I had to just get it together
because it was not okay.
I started to distance myself from my channel,
like, it's still my baby and I love it
but if my channel isn't doing hot, it doesn't affect me
like it used to and I'm so glad that I'm taking care
of myself better, mentally, and I'm in a lot,
I'm in, like, such a great place right now.
I am 27 years old and I am proud of where I am
and I'm proud of where I'm going.
I feel like every year of my 20's has been
so radically different and I'm so proud of this evolution
and I just know that comparing is a game where
you will always lose.
If I could go back to my younger self, I would tell her
to be present and to enjoy life the way it exactly is then
because it will never ever be like that ever again
so enjoy it and stop focusing on where you constantly need
to be because you're gonna be where you're gonna be.
My age is only a tiny tiny facet of me,
it does not define who I am and I absolutely do not have
an expiry date until I actually am dead in the coffin,
that is when I expire.
Not when I start getting wrinkles, not if I don't hit
a certain age deadline, I am here and I will live my life
on my own terms.
I would love for you guys to see SK2's I Never Expire video.
I will leave a link in the description box
and also the card so please, please go watch it,
it is so inspiring and I hope it allows you to realize
that you can live your life on your own schedule,
not somebody else's.
This is your life and only you can control it.
I would love for the comments section to be just,
like, a really supportive place where we can listen
to each other and learn from each other.
I wanna thank you guys so much for watching
and I'll see you guys in the next one.
Bye.
Muah.
(light music)