Heya playa, are you someone that self harms from time to time or are thinking about it
and you're struggling with a way to tell your parents, your family, your friends and your
other loved ones?
It can be a very difficult subject to talk about but don't worry, in this video I'm going
to share a few different tips for how you can talk to your parents and different resources
you could check out to make that whole process a lot easier.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
One thing I want to say here is that I'm no therapist, just a person on the internet that
cares about you.
At the end of the day it's always best to talk to someone like a school counselor or
therapist that can work with you personally and give you direct advice.
But for now, telling your parents might be that first small step you want to take so
I'm going to try to help you out.
First above all else, you should feel proud of yourself for making this bold move.
It takes confidence and strength to recognize when something is bothering you and to actively
work to resolve it.
It may seem easier to just want to hide your problems but talking about it is a very proactive
step, so thank you for doing it.
I know one of the big fears you may have is that by telling your parents, your life may
drastically change or you might just get in trouble for doing it.
But something you should realize is that confronting pain and hardships is necessary if you want
to resolve an issue.
Think of it like getting a shot at the doctors office to prevent you from getting sick.
That momentary fear of what's to come and that pinch of the needle when the doctor gives
you the shot, it's all worth it in the long run if it's going to help you out.
Ok, so let's say you recognize that you have a problem and you want to do something about
it but you're just at the stage where you have to tell your parents.
How do you go about it?
If you feel like you're going to stumble over your words and not explain it in the best
way on the spot then you can always write down your feelings or text it to your parents.
There's no wrong way to tell them.
But I do recommend writing down your feelings in some form, that way if you do decide to
talk to your parents in person you can either read off what you wrote or just show it to
them.
For that initial interaction I would try talking to the parent that you feel you can open up
to more and let them know "hey, I want to talk to the whole family about something that's
really bothering me and I need you all to be there".
Or if you don't feel comfortable talking to both parents, try talking to one parent that
you feel will accept and understand a lot better.
When you do finally sit down with your parents to talk to them, let them know how you're
feeling in that moment.
That will help them learn to be more mindful of how to respond to you then and there.
Remember, your parents are people just like you.
So when it comes to telling them what's going on, they may not always react in the way that
you expect them to.
They may feel angry that it was happening under their roof and they didn't know about
it, they may feel ashamed that it happened to their child and it could never happen to
their child or they may feel a range of different emotions which doesn't reflect on you.
How a person responds to something, whether they're a parent, close friend or sibling
shows more about them and their personality then it ever will about yours.
You're not a bad child for causing yourself harm, you're not an embarrassment to the family,
you're simply someone who has a problem and you're reaching out for help.
Also, how they react in that initial moment isn't an exact telling of how they feel overall
about the situation.
Sometimes we hear news, even for our parents that is so emotionally powerful that it punches
us so hard that we don't know what to do about it.
And really it's the passage of time and deep thought that allow us to process what's happened,
so if your parent reacts in a way that's negative or not nice, give them time to process it.
In some cases you might experience a situation where your parents simply brush it off and
act like it's nothing.
That right there is a stage of denial and it simply show's that they are incapable of
really understanding the gravity of what's going on so you may need to talk to them a
few more times about it.
I know this is tough but you've come so far in expressing yourself that the idea of a
positive outcome here where you get help is so close.
And if that means your parents and their frantic personalities need time to allow their emotions
to subside then so be it.
Some of the things you'll want to talk to your parents about either in that first encounter
or much later on is why you self harm, if you feel like you're in any potential danger
or if you want to see a professional to talk about it.
These suggestions are no replacement for therapy but there are other people out there doing
great things.
You can check out Kati Morton's YouTube channel, she's a licensed therapist who makes videos
on different mental health topics, my friend Scott from Depression to Expression makes
videos on his own depression and anxiety and has lots of people come on to share their
own experiences and my friend Kaitlyn from iIMAGINEblank shares tons of helpful advice
on being accepted for who you are, how to be creative and how to use your imagination
to just enjoy life a little bit more.
There's also a really great community on the app Project Toe where people go to share their
stories about their own families, their depression, their anxiety and anything else on their mind.
On that app there are people there that are willing to help you out and talk to you.
What do you think, do you have trouble talking to your parents or even your parents about
issues regarding self harm?
Leave your comment below and we'll talk about it.
Always remember that you're brave, you're strong an you're making the right call by
talking to your parents about self harm.
Hopefully your parents can be understanding and compassionate to help you work towards
being your best self.
As always guys, love and peace.