Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome back to the Try Not To Laugh challenge.
Now if you look closely, you may notice that there's something a little bit different about me: I'm wearing glasses. Look at my cheeks!
I'm THICK. I'm just thick. I'm big boy thick.
I'm dummy thick. You know, the doctors didn't think it was possible for my head to get any bigger. But here we are.
So, I just had my wisdom teeth pulled. I- I just got my teeth ripped two days ago.
It still hurts like hell, and one of the things that the doctor said is I shouldn't talk very much.
So, here I am being an idiot and talking, but number two,
I think that also means that I shouldn't laugh, because every time that I've laughed since I got my surgery, it hurts like hell.
So, I think that's as good a motivation as any to try to do a Try Not To Laugh.
Because I am made of steel. I may be thick but I'm TOUGH. I ain't flabby; I'm floppy. I'm- I ain't flabby, I'm firm.
I'm firm thick. I'm not jello thick.
I'm- I'm like, pudding thick. either way thi- this thick don't shake,
And so I ain't gonna laugh.
So I've got some videos in front of me of with which i'm not going to laugh at. Make sense?
I've already done too long of an intro, let's get into it.
(horns playing)
Wow, that was perfect form.
What a beautiful cock.
Show Host: when it comes to one-year-old Dante, Pierre... you are the father!
Crowd: Ohh!
*woosh*
*wheezes* *burps*
Ow... I'm fine.
(yelling and laughing)
Kurwa!
(groans)
Ow.
Both him and me: "ow."
Camerawoman: Saundra.
Saundra: What?
Camerawoman: Say "addicted" after everything that I say.
Saundra: Okay.
Camerawoman: When someone's on drugs, they're:
Saundra: Addicted.
Camerawoman: When someone drinks alcohol,
Saundra: They're addicted.
What hit you in the face last night?
Saundra: A dick did-
Saundra: What the fuck, lady!
Saundra: Damn it, I knew better than to do that shit again. Stop.
Again?
That's not the first time that's happened?
That's not first time a dick hit you in the face?
Cameraman: Bullet, would you want to go to dinner sometime?
...Okay, never mind.
Alright.
(humming)
Ni-bemis.
*breathes deeply* Hm. Mm.
*nuh-uh sound*
(Duel of the fates plays)
(gasps)
Ow.
Ow! (groans)
Oww!
Owie-he!
OH Hoho-
Ow!
Eugh!
My normal- (groans)
My normal- euh. My normal method of not laughing is to suck in- (groans)
Oh, it hurts!
But it was so good!
(Star Wars music)
(wheeze)
Oh no-
(grunts) Ow! (sobs)
I'm in agony! I'm in hell. This is hell, this hell. Oh my god- oh, what have I put myself through. Ow!
(snorts)
Ah!
Oh God, why?
(sniff)
I just snorted and, ow!
This is the worst! I am in hell.
But it was good!
Teacher: 3, 2, 1 - Light!
Student: Oh my God!
Teacher: So actually guys, I'm not injured, because I dispersed my energy.
...What?
(video replaying)
Teacher: So actually guys, I'm not injured, because I dispersed my energy.
Oh. That explains everything-
You dispersed your--that. That explains everything.
(beeping)
Huh? No, don't like this.
That's not right. This is the same kind of energy as that...
That guy. Ya know what I'm talking about? Everyone knows what I'm talking about.
I don't know, man. Look. I'm trying guys.
i can't jiggle that much, my thickness moves.
Woman: Hi!
Cameraman: Oh, hi.
(ambient chatter)
(grunts)
Cameraman: Nelly's my favorite. Look how calm she is as well!
Sorry?
(groans)
What is she trying to do? Ow.
She trying to do a superhero move? I'm just a fucking mess.
Everybody ignore my bitching.
Man: 2, 3
(error noise)
(wheeze)
Ohohoho-
Oww...
Ohh...(sobs)
This is all I can do to smile. This Is my smile.
THIS, this is my smile.
(sobs)
(video replays)
(coughs) Ow!
Oh God, I'm gonna die. This is how I die.
(laughing)
Ow- (more laughing)
Ow-! Oh no, it hurts. No- I love it.
Oh God...
I love it!
Oh, who let him in that building with that sword?
Who let him in?
(laughing) Oh God...ow. Oh, no.
I hate.
I hate it, I hate- I hate me...
I hate me right now. Me sucks. Me is too thick, you know?
I was reaching for my dreams of thickness, and I just went too far. I went too far...
i went too far into the thick.
Nice bird. Oh-
(cockatoo kidnaps pigeon)
(suppressed laughter)
Mm...
You know what I look like?
You know what I look like? Hang on. You know what I look like right now? Hang on-
You know what I look like right now? I look like the thumbnail from my very first Try Not To Laugh video.
That's what I look like right now!
But no Photoshop! It's just my face. All right, here, keep going...
(smacking noise)
Ow.
(Super Smash Brothers music and sound effects)
(laughing)
Ow!
Oh- ow! No- (laughing)
Help me! Somebody help me.
I'm in so much pain. Ow-
Oh God, why even bother? Why even bother.
Why did I even bother getting out of bed. Ow.
I can't look at any more.
I lost like two seconds in, I don't know what happened to me. I don't know what I was expecting.
I don't know why I bothered! I'm gonna take my thick ass back to bed-
I'm gonna get an ice pack for my thick ass face and my thick ass ass and-
I'm just gonna- Imma relax and I'm gonna try to forget that this ever happened.
So if you guys want to see more Try Not To Laughs,
Where I'm ACTUALLY coherent but just as giggly and in moderately less pain,
i'll provide a link in the description or the suggested videos probably have some Try Not To Laughs as a playlist.
If you've got more videos you want me to laugh at put them in the comments below or something, I don't know.
I should probably set up a system for that. But, thank you everybody so much for watching!
My cheeks will deflate in due time.
But in the meantime, thank you for watching.
If you want to see more cool stuff,
Smash the subscribe-y button! Make that sub button nice and thick! Just as thick as my face. Or the like button, or the bell.
I don't really care. Pick one of the three in just you know, give it a *mwah* smooch, that'll be nice.
So, thanks again, and as always, I will see you,
In the next video. Bye-bye!