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This time around, if you’re concerned about the person you’re dating or parent that
might be a narcissist, we’re here to help by giving you the top 10 signs you are dealing
with one.
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10.
Need For Attention And Validation It’s hard to make out these days who's just
someone living in post-social media and who’s a narcissist, but if the person needs attention
and validation all the time, chances are they are a bit narcissistic.
The way they do it might seem very subtle, asking you to do something for them, or by
saying something to get your attention, but keep an eye out.
They need you to validate them somehow, especially in supportive and positive words.
However, it’s never enough.
Prone to bragging, they’re constantly trying to get approval from people around them to
nurse their fragile egos.
Since they need constant validation, they will chase the admiration to the point of
annoying those around them.
Fishing for compliments never ends, is often one-sided, and an endless stream of compliments
of how great and special they are, which by the next day will be long forgotten and in
need of a new batch.
9.
Perfectionism This could be a rather positive trait of narcissists.
If you’re hiring, this is the person you might be looking for.
Sure, they’re bad at taking criticism and they never take orders, but boy, whatever
they’re doing it, they’re doing it well.
They believe everything should live up to their expectations.
Often, they’re left feeling disillusioned and dissatisfied because nothing and no one
can live up to those impossible standards.
8.
Controlling A narcissistic person often seems like they’re
showing signs of “lack of flexibility”, and a need for control.
They think if they can just control what isn’t quite living up to their expectations, they
can make it right.
In fact, nobody can do it quite like they would, so they’re the person standing behind
you trying to tell you how to beat the eggs correctly, and telling you how to do the simplest
things.
They feel entitled.
If you go off-script, they can get really upset and demand that you return to what’s
expected of you.
You’re not your own person, you’re a character in their story.
Oftentimes, a narcissist will find other people to take their side, even with blatant lies,
to use them against you so that you feel like you are the bad one.
7.
Lack of Responsibility Of course, nobody is perfect.
So, when the narcissist inevitably messes up, watch for how they react.
Are they saying, “Yeah, that was my mistake,” or blaming others and deflecting the situation?
This is a key sign that the person you’re dating is a narcissist.
When things go right, that’s when they want to say it was their plan, their doing, and
that’s why everything went right.
If you’re into the stories of how serial killers talk about their crimes, most of them
do not take responsibility for their own crimes, blaming their mothers and their upbringing
instead.
6.
Entitlement Since they think that they’re so special
and perfect, they expect special treatment.
They should be given whatever they want, they should be respected, admired, and their needs
should be anticipated.
Anyone who doesn’t do this is useless.
If you ask something of them in return, they’ll call you “selfish” and likely give you
the cold shoulder.
5.
Sense of Self-Importance For many, this is the #1 sign that you’re
a narcissist.
They are beyond vain.
They think that out of seven billion people, they’re the only one that is unique.
Not just that, they believe they’re too good for average or “ordinary” things.
If they’re not in the room with the high-status people, they’re clearly in the wrong room
by some kind of accident.
They are the star of everything and, as we’ve seen before, if they’re not, they get mad.
4.
Fantasy world Reality can’t always live up to narcissists’
expectations and illusions so they must create their own alternate reality or fantasy world
where everything they believe about themselves is true.
This is why you’ll often hear them telling stories where they’re heroes and stars.
The stories don’t always sound real and everyone around them may be rolling their
eyes, but they’re still telling and believing it.
Don’t question it though, they’ll get very upset and maybe even show some rage.
3.
Gaslighting Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and
emotional abuse, and it’s a hallmark of narcissism.
Narcissists may spew blatant lies, falsely accuse others, spin the truth, and ultimately
distort your reality.
They make you question your own sanity by creating an alternate version of what has
happened.
Even if you have solid proof of them lying, like video recording, they will stick to their
guns and try to spin reality into their favor.
They are always the victim when things go wrong, and always the hero when things go
right.
Above all, fixing a narcissist is extremely difficult, as they are master manipulators
who look and surround themselves with people who enable their behavior, which justifies
their negative actions, which in turn makes them more narcissistic.
A narcissist rarely acknowledges that they are a narcissist or that they have a problem
- as their thought process tells them that it's always someone else's problem.
Most people who suffer from NPD avoid treatment or will quit prematurely when they feel threatened
or uncomfortable.
2.
Exploitation Narcissists often use others for their own
benefit.
They can’t identify with others feelings or put themselves in others’ shoes.
Others’ lives can help them reach their own goals.
They don’t think that using others is a bad thing, but rather neutral.
They don’t see how their constant neediness can affect those around them, even if you
tell them about it.
The only thing they know is their own goals, needs, and how you can give them what they
want to reach them.
1.
Belittles, Demeans, and Intimidates You If a narcissist meets someone they’re intimidated
by, someone confident and popular, they’ll feel threatened.
They’ll go straight into anger, contempt and bullying.
They look like they’re patronizing them or dismissing them, but in reality, the bullying
and name-calling is just a way in their reality to break down that person to somehow make
them “not better” in some way.
Warped logic, but it works in their fantasy.
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