If you are watching this video,
chances are this is not your first rodeo.
Chances are high that you've spent considerable time
reading self-help books,
digesting spiritual information,
trying out those products,
diving into self-growth...
no matter what side of the equation you're on,
whether you're a person who is teaching,
producing or creating content,
or whether you're a person who is consuming that content,
people in the self-help,
spiritual and personal growth fields
tend to all have the same subconscious or conscious aim:
to get to a point where life only ever feels good.
Please pause and read before you watch this video:
The Biggest Lie the Self-Help/Spiritual Industry Sells You
Here is where something very serious
needs to be cleared up;
The biggest lie that the self-help/ spiritual industry sells you
is the idea that there can be an end to contrast.
That it's possible to get to a place
where there is no negative things
nothing unwanted ever happens.
It's at this point that I have to tell you
that just because you say you're spiritual, not religious
doesn't mean you haven't carried over
those same religious principles
and just given them a makeover.
The self-help spiritual industry
is selling you the idea of heaven.
Just like so many religions have.
Only this time, it's had a makeover.
Now, instead of reaching heaven
an end state of positivity AFTER you die
by doing things right and good enough while you're alive,
it's all about reaching heaven
an end state of positivity,
while you're alive
by doing the right thing
and doing things good enough
while you're alive.
Something that I've learned over the years
by traveling the whole world
and doing this, what I'm doing right now
for so long
is that people, so many people
actually have this subconscious or conscious expectation.
And it's the real reason why they're doing shadow work,
meditations,
positive focus exercises,
diving into intentional manifestation,
getting into health regimes,
I mean, you name it...
So many people across the world
are only doing these things
with this expectation
that they can get to this "heaven"
a state of positive endedness
where no unwanted things ever happen
and there's nothing negative.
Because of this,
so many people around the world
are suffering.
They're suffering in their self-help processes,
they're suffering in their spiritual path,
they're suffering with everything that they're doing,
because they've been sold a lie
or come up with that expectation themselves.
Contrast is one of the integral elements of this time space reality.
What I mean by contrast
is the existence and the perception of polarities
such as positive and negative,
wanted and unwanted,
dark and light,
pain and pleasure.
Contrast is the root of both personal and universal expansion.
A physical human is meant to sort through the unwanted
and wanted elements of this time-space reality,
so as to give rise to desire
and then to line up with that desire
with their thoughts words and actions.
Doing so causes a person to actualize the expansion.
But this improved state of being
will come with a new set of contrast,
and so, the process starts all over again
propelling the person into the ever expanding state of being.
For example, let's say
that a person really wants to have a life in nature
on a self-sustainable farm.
By actualizing their desire
they may have things like
a sense of independence and freedom,
the peacefulness of the natural world,
a life that is wholesome,
high quality food and simplicity.
But they may also experience things like inconvenience,
lots of labor that needs to be done personally
in order to maintain things,
a feeling of disconnection from the rest of society
and a decrease in financial income.
To understand more about this, you can watch my video titled:
Want To Succeed? What Pain Will You Say Yes To?
Now when I'm bringing you into this reality
that doesn't mean that you should give up on life being good.
This doesn't mean you should let go of trying to chase joy,
this doesn't mean you've gotta stop going for improvement.
In fact, quite the opposite.
It is our desire, our overall desire
for life to be good
that causes us to make these improvements
and causes us to be on this path of expansion
where life is really about:
"the better it gets, the better it can get".
But...
this continual process of creating the improvement
and moving to the expanded place
which can be quite joyful, in fact,
is very different
than expecting yourself or thinking you should be able to
get to this place
where there are no negatives
and nothing unwanted ever occurs.
Basically, a place without contrast.
To understand more about this,
watch my video titled:
the ticket to an empowered life.
What you are after,
by chasing a state of heaven while you are alive
is a state of endedness.
There is no movement
that is created in a being
who already has everything that is wanted.
and is not exposed to anything negative.
Initially, you came to this time space reality
because you definitely saw the benefit
of expansion on a personal level and macrocosmically,
on a universal level.
To come to this time space reality
which is based on the value of expansion
and seek to put an end to that expansion
by creating a state of positive endedness
is a contradiction in terms.
Aside from all of this, there are some concrete reasons
why it is so important
to not be doing these self-growth processes
or self-help exercises
or spiritual things
with this attitude of:
I'm doing them so that I can get to this place
where nothing negative happens
and nothing unwanted ever occurs.
Ending contrast.
I'm gonna go over some of these big reasons why
this is not the way to go about approaching life, for you now.
#1.
You will fail at it.
You will fail at it no matter what you do.
And you will fail at it through no fault of your own.
You will not fail because you're not doing something right,
you will fail at it because the reality of life
and how this time space reality was designed
is in direct opposition to a state of endedness.
Because of this, not only will you be out of reality
which only ever leads to unwanted results
you will also feel like something is seriously wrong with you
and like you are not doing something good enough or right.
This will cause you to suffer unimaginable levels of pain.
Some of you who are watching this video
are already in this kind of pain that I'm talking about.
I'm gonna give you analogy:
If we look at life a bit like the ocean
the contrast in life is like these waves in the ocean
so the mastery of life
is really about becoming a master surfer of those waves.
When you approach your life with this attitude of:
the goal is to get to a place where there is no contrast,
where there absolutely is only positive things
and nothing unwanted ever happens,
what you're essentially trying to do
is make it so there are no more waves.
Now, as if that's not bad enough,
if you've been sold this idea
that doing this thing
is gonna make it so that there's no more contrast in your life,
no more negative, no more unwanted,
then you're approaching life
with an attitude of:
"If I just surf good enough, the waves will stop".
No being who actually attained enlightenment
is trying to teach you
how to make there be an end to contrast.
What they're trying to help you to do
is to develop a different relationship
to the contrast in life.
And when you develop a different relationship to the contrast,
your life experience is drastically different.
And that is actually the ticket to a good life.
#2. If you engage with self-help,
personal growth or spiritual practices
"so that" you can end up
in a space where there is no negatives
and nothing unwanted ever happens,
you're actually living your entire life
in a state of "so that".
Or, you're, at least, doing everything you're doing
in your spiritual or personal growth process "so that".
Even if you hate all of those processes that you're using.
You will be doing a great many things you hate
so as to get to a reward you want.
But this means
that you will hate the process of life
and never achieve the reward that you're trying to get to.
This is a recipe for burnout,
powerlessness and despair.
You will especially get into a lot of trouble
if what you're doing on a daily basis
is using a lot of shadow work
to achieve a state of "heaven" while you're still alive.
It seems like a bit of a contradiction.
If I tell you this, at face value right now
you're gonna be like: "Oh yeah, that makes sense",
but let's try it out;
If you're really wanting to experience a life
where everything feels good,
but you're doing shadow work every single day,
that doesn't make any sense.
Any more than it makes sense to say:
You know, it's really important for me to have rest,
and so I'm running every day.
The here and now experience of life itself
will not only be painful, it will not be worth it
because the reward for doing painful things
which you think is a life where nothing ever feels negative
and you never experience something unwanted,
will not come.
To understand more about this, watch my video titled:
If You Wanna Be Happy, Don't Do This!
#3. If you approach your life in this way
you are never going to be in the present moment.
There's not gonna be a now that you're living in.
Everything you're doing is to try to get to this perfect future.
This positive end state.
Basically, you're gonna be on a rat wheel
trying to get to something.
Which is no different than people being on a rat wheel
in their living life,
trying to get to a heaven after death.
Right?
There's no actual appreciation of the now.
I'm going to go so far to say that if you fall into this category
you're somebody who
isn't even appreciating the now when you are appreciating the now.
Why? Because if you do any of these practices
around being in the now, or appreciating the now...
even that is a "so that".
You're doing it "so that"
it adds up to this future you want
where there's no experience of negative.
#4. You will fail to fully commit to the adventure of life
and to this process of expansion
that you intended to commit to, by coming into this life.
Instead of really committing to playing this game of life
and extracting the benefits from it,
you're gonna be in resistance to it,
trying to get out of it, and transcend it.
You will not be fully committed to life.
You will have one foot in and one foot out of life.
And you cannot truly manifest what you want
if you don't put all your energy into life.
Also, you're gonna be in resistance to both pain and desire.
For this reason, it would benefit you
to watch two of my videos, the first titled:
The Meaning of Pain
And the second titled:
Are You Afraid Of Desire? The Truth About Desire
#5. You will walk around with an attitude
that if you or somebody else that you know
is experiencing something negative,
is in pain
or is having something unwanted happen in their life,
you or them/they
are doing something wrong and bad
in order to line up with it.
By the way, it's at this point that I like to tell you
that this is just a modern facelift on the religious belief
that if somebody doesn't get to heaven after they die,
it's because they did something wrong and bad.
What you will most likely make it mean
when you experience negative or unwanted things
is something that causes you to feel inferior to others
who you think are more right and more good than you,
because their life is better than yours is.
That they are more enlightened than you are.
And walking around with this attitude
will cause you to hold a person in less esteem
if they are experiencing pain and unwanted things.
You may tell yourself
that you're the more successful or enlightened one.
You can often hear this insinuation in people's voices
when they say things like:
"How is she a match to that?"
"How was I a match to that?"
As if, reaching a state of positive endedness
where nothing negative occurs
and nothing unwanted ever happens
in life
is some kind of measure
of how right or good someone is,
or how awake they are.
#6. This belief in this expectation
puts you in a narcissistic bubble reality
built for one.
At its root when we have this expectation
or we're desperately doing things
so we can get to a place where there is no negative
and nothing unwanted ever happens,
essentially, there's an end to contrast
the reason why we have this belief
or hold on to it so strongly
is because we're desperate to get out of pain.
Which means we're in pain, right?
And when a person is in pain,
they tend to be pretty self-focused.
It's not that they're doing something wrong by doing that,
it naturally happens.
Somebody who's in pain is really only thinking about
their own best interests.
Because of this,
even if you've been sold on a practice
such as taking the other person's best interests
as a part of your own best interests,
you will ultimately only do that
because you think it's gonna lead
to you yourself experiencing no more pain in relationships.
And you're only gonna seek to attain a state of oneness
because you believe it's the ticket to you feeling good
and no longer separated.
Again, it's the attempt to manifest a heaven,
a positive state of endedness for you
and yourself.
Unfortunately, so many teachers
as well as so much of the self-help/spiritual industry
has sold you on this concept that it is possible
for there to be an end to contrast.
That the goal of life is to get to some kind of a "heaven"
while you're still alive.
A state of positive endedness
where nothing negative exists
and nothing unwanted ever happens.
What they sell you on is the idea
that if you're not there yet,
you need to do something better,
that you're not doing something right,
or that you're not being good enough.
Because of all of this,
you are chasing a goal that you will not reach.
You have used your degree of happiness in life
as your measure of your own goodness and rightness.
You have turned your life into a "so that".
Joy in life is not dependent
on there being nothing negative
and on never experiencing unwanted things.
Contrast is not an oppositional force to joy.
You can love your life and still experience contrast.
You can do everything right and good
and you will still experience
the contrast that is inherent to life.
Otherwise, the second that any being became enlightened,
suddenly there would be no more homeless people,
suddenly everyone else would be awakened too,
suddenly animals wouldn't eat each other,
suddenly nobody would lose a loved one's death
because death wouldn't exist... You get my point?
So what you're looking at is that no being has ever
reached a state of enlightenment EVER.
Or contrast,
is an inherent element to life itself.
And enlightenment or awakening
simply gets you to the point
where your relationship to that contrast
is so different
that the way you live life, is different.
With this in mind,
I want you to ask yourself the following question:
If I accepted that there will never be an end to contrast,
that no matter what I improve
or what desire I attain,
there will always be both negative and positive,
wanted and unwanted inherent within it,
what would i do differently in my daily life today?
And remember...
there is absolutely no difference
between working your ass off to reach heaven after you die,
and working your ass off
to reach a state of heaven,
state of positive endedness
while you are still alive.
Have a good week.
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I wanna thank you personally
for the bravery that you have to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
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