Hello, and welcome to Ask the Attorney Anything. I'm Rebecca Zung and this is my forum where I
actually just answer any questions that you guys shoot right at me. And I just answer them off the
cuff and try to be in service to you and help you guys with this time in your life. I know
when you're dealing with a narcissist and you're in the discard phase and that's when they go
into their serious smear campaign and start hurling everything they can at you. And just,
you feel like you're under siege. You're like under attack because you absolutely are. And so
you feel like you're constantly on the defensive, and it's so fast and it's so much that you
just don't even have time to like see or think. And so that's why I developed the Slay program so
that you would learn how to develop strategy and leverage and anticipate what they're going to do
and focus on you and your case and your position and your self-care and all of those good things
because I want you to have the tools that you need to be able to escape these narcissists. And also,
even if you can't escape them right away, I want you to have the tools that you need to shift that
dynamic of power to start feeling like you're the one in control instead of them the ones in control
constantly. I want you to feel like you can go on the offensive. I want you to feel strong enough to
be able to understand what's going on and what's really happening so that you have the step-by-step
guidance that you need to be able to get a fair result when you're dealing with these narcissists.
So I'm here to answer your questions. If you haven't subscribed to my channel,
what are you waiting for? Subscribe and hit that notification bell. We, me and my team,
we literally get hundreds of messages all day long about people who have said that these videos have
saved their lives. My programs, my resources have absolutely changed everything for them. And so I
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I go live and when I upload new content and do all the cool things that I'm getting ready to do
in 2021. We have so much amazing stuff planned for you for 2021. And I want you to be a part of it,
you guys, my community. By the way, if you haven't joined my Facebook group,
you should definitely do that too. It's totally free. It's private. Narcissists Negotiators with
Rebecca Zung. Come join me in that as well. So I would love to know where you are all
tuning in from here today. I see Rebecca from Oregon. I see Mark. Hi Rebecca. I see
Sven, greetings from Belgium. Excellent. Awesome. I love Belgium, beautiful country.
Okay. So I'm going to check out a couple of your questions here. So I have a question here from
Al what are your thoughts on the opposing sides? Tactic was to leave, set criminal charges, huge
published smear campaigns off of the purpose of separation. What's your opinion for best defense?
Well, you've heard, first of all, let me just tell you, I'm so sorry of what you're going through. It
sounds like you're dealing with a malignant narcissist. Malignant narcissists tend to
be the ones who they don't even care. They have no conscience whatsoever. They'll just go after
you and they'll say whatever they need to say. So what I'm going to say to you Al is your best
defense is a good offense. For those of you who follow me regularly you know that I often say
that the best football teams, if they have a great defense,
then they have nobody's scoring any points. So you need to start going on the offensive. This is a
person who has gotten you under siege, and that's what narcissists do, like right out of the gate,
they want to take that first swing. They want to make sure that you feel disempowered, that
you feel like you can't ever get past all of this. I have had clients who have had criminal charges
against them, who haven't seen their children for years. All of this bad stuff has happened to them.
And then they come to my office and we get it all turned around. And the reason why
I can get it turned around is because I help them create a strategy which will box them in.
Remember when you're talking about a narcissist, the most important thing to them
is narcissistic supply. But when you're dealing with a narcissist and you're dealing with that
narcissistic supply, remember that the supply that means the most to them is how they look,
what people think of them. They want the rest of the world to think that
they're wonderful or that they're the victim, and that you're the bad one. And they want to
get that preemptive strike going in there. So they put you on the defensive right away. So what you
need to do is create a strategy that's going to threaten a source of supply that means more to
your spouse to keep then the supply that she's getting from making you miserable.
And she's getting lots and lots of supply by watching you squirm, by watching her be on top or,
or him or whoever it is that's on the other side. And so that's, what's really going on.
The beautiful thing about narcissists is that they are so simple to understand. They only want one
thing and that's supply, but they go after it in many different ways, but they're actually very,
very predictable. They're very predictable in how they will act in any kind of a discard phase but
especially when they're dealing with somebody in divorce or end of a business partnership or
anything like that. They fight dirty. That's what they do. They don't have ethics. It's the
equivalent of the kick in the groin, the pulling of the hair, the biting of the ear, whatever
they have to do so that they can come on top. But you can develop a strategy which will allow
you to box them in and narcissists eventually do self-destruct. If you give them enough rope,
they eventually get to a point where they start making mistakes, where they start coming unglued.
They'll act like they're moving forward and they're really good at this magical thinking
and moving forward and not seeing their path of destruction behind them, but they will eventually
self-destruct if you surround them and put them in a place where they have no choice, but to resolve
matters with you. And that's what I teach in the Slay program. That's what I teach on these videos.
That's what I teach in everything that I do, because I figured it out. I figured out
how to negotiate with them in a way that helps you see movement and get where you want to go,
okay? So, great question there, Al. Thank you so much.
Hello, Sandra from Massachusetts. Hello, Jenny from Florida. Thank you so much for
being here. And I hope that you've all found some great value in here and in this content, because
that's what we're here to do for you guys to get you out of these relationships. So let's see if I
can find. I'm going through a divorce with my narc and he's turning off utilities. Yeah. So that's
the kind of thing that narcissists will do. And that's a question from Carla. Those are the kinds
of things that you want to be jumping right on. Don't let them get away with anything. The
thing about narcissists, victims and targets, is that we all tend to be good people, nice people,
people who don't want to make waves, who don't want to like appear to be overly aggressive.
We just want what's fair. We don't want hurt anybody. And so what happens is sometimes
you end up hanging back too much because you're saying, I don't want to spend too much money. I
don't want to go crazy. And then they are just basically like smothering you. And by the time
you decide, you know what, I do want to fight back now, you're so far the other direction.
It's sort of like a tug of war or something, and they've gotten you so far in the other direction
that you've got to like try to now go all the way back here just to get back to the middle.
And so when something happens, like they're shutting off utilities or things like that,
I don't know if there's some kind of a standing order in your jurisdiction,
but some jurisdictions have like an order that has, that goes out automatically from the court
as soon as the divorce is filed, that says that you have to maintain status quo. And so there may
be a situation where it's already in contempt of court, because they're violating that court order.
If you don't have that, then you need to file something with the court, go get in front of a
judge and ask the judge to force him to pay the utilities and that way you'll have a court order
so that if he doesn't pay the utilities going forward, you can ask the court to hold him in
contempt. And once you hold him in contempt, bad things can happen. He can be sanctioned. They
can strike pleadings. You're not allowed to ask for certain things. They can fine him. They can
do all kinds of things, so ask for attorney's fees. So my point is
the way that you start to make them feel like they're the ones under siege
is at least at the very least don't let them get away with any thing. Every little thing
has to be brought right in front of the judge, right away, okay? So that's my answer to Carla.
So let's see. I'll try to answer one more question here. Do you offer consulting for
people who are not in Florida? Yeah. I mean, basically I consult with people all over the
world. I have a limited number of spaces for one-on-one coaching each week. It's very limited.
But I have coached people all over the world. I also highly recommend that you come to my
Slayer negotiation, the webinar that I offer, which I offer several times a week,
please come to that. That is the best way to have access to me, and my knowledge and the information
that I have. Okay. So, and we'll make sure that there is a link to signing up for that webinar.
It's totally free. It'll be in the first comment and it'll be pinned. So come join me
there because that'll be one of the best places. Thank you so much, everyone for joining me today
on this edition of Ask the Attorney Anything. If you like this video, give it a like.
I see 26 likes right now. I should see 82 people on this call. So let's see 26. That should go up
to 82. I want to see everybody liking this video right now and make sure you subscribe
and hit that notification bell so that you can get notified when I upload new content and when I go
live like this, to answer your questions. I am so grateful for all of you. And I'm grateful to be
able to serve you and use my gifts to be able to help you guys. I've had to deal with narcissists
in my personal life. And I've only ever practiced high net worth divorce law. So I really, really,
really understand this personality type and I know how to teach you to get out of this.
It is possible, wherever you are right now, if you feel like giving up,
don't. Don't give in. Don't give up. You can turn this around. I can help you.
Stick with me. Stick with this channel, watch the videos, get my free crush my negotiation,
prep worksheet. Make sure you do that. It's just at winmynegotiation.com, it's so easy to get.
And start with that and we will help you do this. Okay. We're here for you.
I'm so glad that you were here with me today. I'm Rebecca Zung. Remember today's a
great day to start negotiating your best life, so let's do it. All right. Thank you all so so much.