but the question I want to ask you was
when did you realize that fostering this
long-term mindset was the more important
direction for yourself and was it a
habit you had to force yourself into was
it difficult to learn to start with and
if you reflect on back to maybe my age
now what was your mindset in comparison
then okay I think most of us realize
that having a long-range mindset is the
way to go but it's not so easy to do
that given when you're a young person
especially right so Connors asking like
when did I realize that how did that
happen so he can map his own journey to
mine I think
more or less right yeah that would sound
about right yeah okay so I gotta tell
you when I was in high school I was not
the discipline focused person that you
see today my mental health was not the
way it is today I was like most people I
rode the emotional rollercoaster of the
highs and lows struggled through my
relationships even though I school was
fairly easy for me I didn't put my
energy and effort into it it wasn't very
challenging for me so instead I drew I
read comics I played video games
I did everything I could in my power to
put off my studies to the dismay of my
parents who really wanted me to get that
4.0 GPA and to go to a good college
because that's how they thought of
success and your blueprint for success
and despite all the encouragement and
lecturing that my dad gave me I just
couldn't get it together and I had to
hit some kind of emotional rock-bottom
to start to look at my life in a more
critical way now luckily for me it
happened when I was only 17 or 18 years
old when I felt like this is it I'm in a
very dark place and I have to decide
what kind of person I want to become
what kind of life I want to live and
it's in those dark places those
extremities that your brain will go to
especially in your teenage years that
you'll make those big decisions and from
that point forward I started to focus up
because of what I realized in that
moment in time was what Aaron is coming
to the realization
twenty nine when I was 18 was I am
wasting this opportunity I'm wasting
this shot because you're young once and
your life is less complicated when
you're young that you just have to go
for it that if there ever was a time I'm
in my prime right now and I have to do
it now the sense of urgency okay so then
I flipped a switch I started to focus up
on the long term goal and it made lots
and lots of sacrifices in the short term
because I felt like that result was
going to wait for me if I work towards
that so I don't know why don't you do a
follow-up question and then maybe I can
answer it a little bit better for you
okay it's really interesting because
what you just said about hitting an
emotional rock-bottom mm-hmm scratching
mallet and hitting an emotional
rock-bottom that happened to me as well
and obviously I'm not gonna go into the
full story but it was old I'm 20 20 21
okay so can go yes so basically I was
meant to be moving into a house with a
previous partner having a side job and
working on freelance stuff and that was
gonna be the main goal mm-hm for some
reason or another I silt'e know why it
just fell apart and I spend a good part
six months extremely depressed and
working at 5:00 a.m. till 3 p.m. every
day and that was horrible
and I think that emotional rock-bottom
helped me foster the mindset that got me
to here to here right now but in some
ways I say it's slipping and it feels
like it's not as tight or as focused as
it could be right and obviously that
that becomes that we start to become
comfortable that that's when I think or
I feel more comfortable than I did a
year ago say that's why I think the
focus is slipping so as the follow-up
question is how do you maintain that
mindset because you said you hit that at
what 18 yep and that's when your focus
came in how have you
continued to maintain that level for up
until present day yeah good question so
here's what I think I think in the movie
300 king leonidas as a kid as most
Barton's were they were sent to fend for
themselves when they're coming of age
and they have to go and live in the wild
and slay a wolf or something like that
as the story goes I think and so he's
he's scared he's not strong but he has
to overcome the wolf and I guess the way
that they raise their children is if you
can't come back you're not worth living
so you have to figure it out so in my
mind in that 18 year old teenage mine it
was life and death for me I had to go
and slay my wolf and I had to learn
something about myself and then I
emerged from that cave with the wolf
hide draped over my shoulders and
returned back to civilization
realizing and having learned something
about myself knowing that I didn't like
the emotional state that I was in in
this deep dark depressed state and I
knew what got me there so I knew that I
wasn't gonna let that happen to me again
so the cold emotionless person that you
might see in front of you was once a
super emotional person and I had to
divorce that part from my brother from
my mind and from my body so here's my my
guess at it is that two years ago you
ran into a similar dark situation you
figured your way out but you didn't
figure out all the lessons that you
needed to learn like you survived but
maybe you didn't slay the wolf and
that's why these problems are cropping
back up so what I would do if I were you
is to reinvestigate in your mind like
what happened there what is it that you
learned so I'm all about squeezing the
maximum learning from a situation so I
don't repeat it again so you know the
reason why you study history is not to
repeat it again okay the other thing is
you're asking about well how did I say
focus for that many years because it's
been a long time I've been working more
I guess not not you obviously but first
for some of these know I have I've been
working now more than you guys have been
alive so how is it I've been able to
maintain the momentum and the focus and
mostly I have to tell you I
have an addictive personality and
nothing is as addictive to me as success
so when you when you make a small
sacrifice and you realize oh there's a
short-term gain here too it's like wow
okay this is cool and I could see it
from the very beginning when I went to
college and I decided to stay in the
computer lab or in the library and
browse books and kind of understand
what's going on or spend extra time
working for my professors while other
people went out hanging out shopping
drinking head do whatever people do in
college and no judgement there but I
could see that I was moving faster and
further than most people and so that
told me I think I'm moving in the right
direction so much so that by the time I
finished my second year in college my
classmates the same classmates that to
think sack same classes as me we're
asking me on how to improve their layout
and I was I was aware I had the
wherewithal to say Wow
in my mind I was thinking didn't we take
the same class and why aren't you
getting the same amount of information
my only suspicion at that point in time
was they hadn't learned everything that
they needed to learn they weren't fully
committed mind body and spirit and soul
into learning that's how I chalked it up
so my entire life has now been built
around look I might not be as talented I
might not be as good-looking I might not
be as articulate as the next person
but man I am going to out hustle you I'm
going to out grind you because I'm going
to learn and I will not stop and that's
the thing that's been moving me forward
right yes I think that's a really good
perspective thank you thank you I wanted
to add something that I heard you say
Chris like I feel like in order to keep
going I noticed with Chris like you have
to celebrate that you improved yes you
have to feel like you're succeeding or
else if you feel like you're always
failing every time you try something
then you're gonna lose steam and you're
not gonna want to focus anymore because
it's not working but if you just look at
it as like you're always succeeding and
always find the success and celebrate it
even in like a failure then you're
always going to be motivated to keep it
going because you're gonna be like what
Chris is saying like I get a feed off
that success but you have to see it as
says yeah you know if you look at it as
you failed all the time you're gonna get
you know you're gonna lose focus cuz
it's like you're not doing it yeah I
guess a part of that's like recognizing
what that success looks like yes like
sitting in the library and then
eventually figuring out that he's
learning more than the people that
aren't spending as much time studying
like he recognized that that is
advancing him in his learning so I think
that's something that it's hard for me
to kind of pick up okay what are those
advancements in understanding what I'm
learning and what what I'm actually
making progress on like I got a good
example here is like I recently made a
video and I was all jazzed up about it
and I read this book and I was super
excited but it didn't get all the views
it didn't get as many views as I wanted
it to right and the old me would be like
aw man I suck I'm a failure I should
stop making videos you know but the new
me that has been brainwashed by Chris is
thinking like do you guys see that
audience retention on that thing like
people watch I look at the video and I'm
like dude that's like what I wanted to
do the little Kasey nice that
transitions and like everything I wanted
to accomplish I accomplish day in that
video and like it's not perfect but I
see it as like dude Aaron you're doing
good my success your success you know
victories yeah now I'm gonna excited to
do the next one you know yes so the want
to ask like a question on that is and
what time at what point do you like not
let the success get into you and then
you know kind of get that ego overpower
the focus that you have like in a good
way like you're like too jazzed up like
I'm the greatest yeah talked about this
right Arun and Aaron I love this okay we
need one more a name and we're good to
go
why do we have to feel like there's a
limit on how much we celebrate our
accomplishments as long as it's
happening internally there's a
difference between me yelling out there
yo yeah I'm the baddest mofo in the room
that's different that's not confidence
but why can't internally we say damn
dude I do something good right that
retention graph it's often the freaking
Hisle right now is that 80% this is
fantastic and I've
things that are produce a video I didn't
think I was capable of doing right just
six months ago why do we have to cap it
you guys now somebody asked me earlier
today because I was doing a business
boot camp thing right
they asked me like what's it like inside
your brain like it's a scary place if
you want to crawl inside this brain
because I love myself I love everything
I do I love my life I love my wife I
love everything I celebrate that and
things that I don't love I just get rid
of I just get rid of it as fast as I can
no that's not always possible but I try
to do that so those thoughts creep in to
your mind of this little perfect world
sometimes Chris you suck man you should
quit but you're like no no I don't have
those thoughts not anymore
those dark dark dark thoughts haunted me
as a 16 year old boy thinking gosh I my
parents aren't rich like these these
kids are
I don't wear those nice clothes that
that person is wearing I'm not popular
like that person it was always comparing
about me being less than those people
and I just wanted to disappear and be
invisible for most of my life up into
that point so it wasn't into that dark
wolf cave thing where I'm like gosh I
hate feeling this way I hate feeling
this self-pity I hate comparing myself I
hate this sorrow I hate trying to please
other people and I'm losing myself in
all this stuff
and if I keep going down that path it's
a dark dark place and I don't want to be
there anymore I don't want to ride that
emotional roller coaster because I'm on
the high highs and then in an instant
somebody says something and I'm on my
low lows and I thought to myself I'd
rather trade the high highs and the low
lows to be somewhere in the middle and I
told my therapist my hero growing up was
Spock she's like that's tragic that's a
chapter character by the way we need to
re-examine that most like Spock Spock
Ike had a superpower could do the Vulcan
pinch and you're out he always ran his
life through logic what made the most
sense right the needs of the many
outweigh the needs of the few he threw
himself in the caldron he was done
that's how he looked at it mm-hmm and
that's what I was willing to do I wanted
to get the job done
I wanted to strip away the emotional
part and just do it and those kind of
thoughts
that you suck things they don't enter
them to my brain anymore the shield the
wall has been so fortified that it's
very hard for those thoughts to get
through you guys build that up those
have to build again one step at a time
and so what you want to do is you want
to turn that negative self-talk that
people talk about like you're not good
enough nobody likes you nobody ever like
you and you'll never get there to the
positive self-talk where this is good I
am valuable the things I create you can
do right clients are lucky to work with
me that's that's the voice I hear right
now so was there any tips that helped
you change the voice in your head maybe
you talk about try not to stay
emotionally connected to it but is it it
comes with time but is it you kind of
creating a mantra for yourself like okay
like yes this yes I just succeeded in
something all right one simple tip
here's a life hack
be grateful start your day and end your
day being grateful for things that you
already have you start to train your
brain to attract positive things so in
the morning or at night maybe at night
you write down the four or five things
that you're grateful for today and it's
even better than just writing it down is
to go tell the people that you're
grateful for that are in your life so
somebody can say write three things are
grateful for write one person that
you're grateful for in your life and
write one lesson that you've learned
today that's a positive thing and you
start to train your brain to seek
positive things okay
the cool part is when you thank somebody
for helping you in your life they feel
pretty good but you feel even better
it's kind of weird and that it's the one
thing you give to somebody that you get
more in the act of giving to that person
so people on a regular basis confess
testify to how much these videos or the
content on producing has helped them and
I suspect I even though I feel really
good about it they feel even better by
telling me because giving gratitude is a
way to align your own happiness and I
think that's one way you can do it
like love love your success love what's
happened and and what erin is telling
you it's definitely a transition in his
mindset and I'm happy to to be the
credit for brain
washing him into loving himself because
he's right he produced this amazing
video Matt myself we're looking at out
thinking God this video is gonna go
bananas it's gonna just tear the roof
off this joint and then it comes out of
the gates like it sputtering along it's
not doing horrible but the old Aaron
would have been all dude oh my god you
suck this is terrible I should just give
up I should just go back to finance yeah
give me them up and I'll do you know
there's a bad spill in the bathroom let
me just take care of that my dreams it
was foolhardy but the new Aaron says
look at the retention look at the things
I've learned in the process so what he's
doing is he's having a grateful mindset
a mindset of gratitude and appreciation
he could be working out in the open
digging a ditch right now under the Sun
or under the cold wherever you're from
but he said he's working in
air-conditioned building he comes into
work more or less around 10 o'clock he
goes home when he once and for the most
part of the day he gets to do whatever
you want
he's self-directed I don't even
understand why he has to go home and
decompress from that because the whole
time of the office he's been
decompressing but that's another story
for another day
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