No matter what your job is, everyone has an off day now and then.
Unfortunately for the people who work in Hollywood, their off days tend to be recorded for millions
of people who can go back and watch them again and again.
When actors who usually provide stellar performances stumble through a role or just plain phone
it in, the results aren’t just surprising, they’re hilarious.
Here are some of the films that feature some not-so-notable acting from some of the most
reliably great actors to ever hit the screen.
Island of Dr. Moreau
With his intense, method-acting performances in movies like A Streetcar Named Desire and
The Godfather, Marlon Brando is an incredible on-screen presence.
Or he was, until 1996’s The Island of Dr. Moreau hit theaters and nearly tanked his
reputation.
Things started to go sideways right from the beginning, with Val Kilmer - who was brought
in as a replacement after Bruce Willis dropped out - demanding to be given even less screen
time than he had.
He even threw a mid-shoot temper tantrum that would make any toddler proud.
According to the Telegraph,
“He reportedly sat on the ground and refused to get up.”
As for Brando, he spent his time demanding that the script be rewritten every afternoon
and not learning his lines, which were instead read to him through an earpiece as he acted.
Not a huge problem, except when radio interference would cut in with "lines" from a police scanner.
According to David Thewlis, he once shouted out, "There's a robbery at Woolworths!" in
the middle of a scene.
At least all that struggle and suffering was worth it, right?
Well, not exactly.
In an obituary for Brando, Roger Ebert called it, quote, “perhaps his worst film,” and
Brandon Judell from Critics Inc. offered what might be the best description: "Satan's Sesame
Street."
Dungeons & Dragons
If you’ve ever played Dungeons & Dragons, there’s a good chance that you’ve gotten
really into creating your character.
Maybe you’ve written a whole backstory, complete with a childhood tragedy, and dreams
that can only be achieved by killing goblins and taking their stuff.
Maybe you even do a voice for your character!
If so, then you’re probably better at it than literally anyone who was in D&D’s big
screen adaptation, a movie that didn’t even manage to actually include a dungeon.
No one gets out of this movie unscathed by its awfulness, but Jeremy Irons delivers a
scenery-chewing performance that might not be good in the traditional sense, but is so
wildly over the top that it’s often cited as one of the movie’s only redeeming qualities.
“Let their blood RRRRAIIIIN from the skyyyyyy!”
In fairness, he brings exactly as much seriousness to role as he should, and if you look at him
as an arch-villain played by a 14 year-old first-time Dungeon Master, it totally works.
Unfortunately, that’s about the only thing in this movie that does.
The Beach
You can spend an afternoon discussing the incredible performances that Leonardo DiCaprio
has brought to the screen.
After making the jump from amateur pretty boy to serious adult actor, he’s turned
in amazing roles in Inception, Catch Me If You Can, The Aviator, The Wolf of Wall Street,
Django Unchained, and… uh…
The Beach.
If one of those things sounds like it doesn’t belong, well, there’s a reason for that.
"God, sorry.
I thought I was doin' pretty good."
The Beach won't make any list of Leo's best movies, even though the setting is a gorgeous,
exotic paradise we wouldn’t mind being stranded in, as long as we were far, far away from
its horrible acting.
Watching a cast this talented fail at making any of their emotions seem convincing would
ruin a vacation no matter how beautiful the scenery was.
The nicest thing CNN's Paul Clinton could say about the actors was that, quote, "everyone
has a lovely tan."
Too bad there’s not an oscar for that.
Hudson Hawk
In theory, Hudson Hawk should’ve worked.
By 1991, Bruce Willis had redefined action movies with Die Hard, and shown off comedic
romantic-lead chops in Moonlighting.
Casting him as a charming thief who just wants a fancy cup of coffee but gets a blackmailed
into one last job seems like a slam dunk, especially when you throw in a plot that escalates
to cartoonish extremes.
There’s even a musical number built around the clever idea of synchronizing a heist to
a catchy Bing Crosby tune that could play up Willis’s aspirations of musical stardom.
"And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo/And every day you see quite a few."
In practice, however, Rolling Stone put it best:
"You want to throw things, yell at the actors, beg them to stop."
The slapstick cartoonishness of the movie makes it nearly impossible to get a handle
on the tone, or even the basic consequences of characters’ actions.
To make matters worse, Willis’s everyman charm comes off as self-satisfied smugness,
making him easy to hate.
While the cast is full of great performers like Andie MacDowell, they seem like they’re
suffering just from being there and want to share that pain with the rest of us.
That bit with “Swinging on a Star” is pretty good, though - especially compared
to Willis’s other attempts at music.
North
You'll be forgiven if you've forgotten about 1994’s not-so-classic, North, starring Elijah
Wood.
It's about a boy who's on a search for the perfect parents, and there's a huge cast of
stars, including Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz, Dan Aykroyd,
Reba McEntire… you get the picture.
Unfortunately, the final product makes it look like all these stars were hired without
realizing just how offensively stereotypical their roles would really be, and once they
read the script, they just wanted to get it over as fast as humanly possible.
Roger Ebert said it best…
“I hated this movie!
Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie!
Hated it!"
What was cringeworthy in the ‘90s is now probably a piece of Wood's resumé that he
wishes everyone would forget about.
Sorry, man.
The internet never forgets.
Daredevil
If Justice League actually left you wanting more superheroic action from Ben Affleck,
you could always try 2003's Daredevil.
If nothing else, it might just make his take on Batman look better by comparison.
"I'm not the bad guy."
From the first trailer, Affleck always seems to be reminding himself what he should and
shouldn't be reacting to.
He’s far from the only guilty party though - Colin Farrell's Bullseye replaces the comic
book villain’s deadly menace with an over-the-top, twitchy performance with reactions that make
it seem like he's the one who’s never seen things before.
As for Jennifer Garner, well, the less said about her performance, the better.
In fact, you really only need to say two words: Playground Fight.
Highlander II: The Quickening
There are a few reasons Highlander II: The Quickening got a staggering 0 percent on Rotten
Tomatoes, but it basically comes down to Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert.
You could almost respect them for thinking they could turn this awful script into a good
movie, and Connery’s almost enjoyable enough to do it, but it’s pretty clear that they
gave up and decided to phone it in pretty early in the shoot.
There is a plot, but it was stupid and you really shouldn't spend time thinking about
it.
Connery and Lambert don't seem to know what's going on most of the time, and if the actors
don’t know, then there’s a good chance the audience won’t, either.
The first movie had that killer soundtrack by Queen, but according to critic Brian Orndorf,
this one is more like listening "as a franchise is epically flushed down the toilet."
Sounds like when it comes to Highlander... there should have only been one.
"Will I ever see you again?"
"Who knows, highlander?"
Thanks for watching!
Click the Grunge icon to subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Plus check out all this cool stuff we know you'll love, too!