- A, why do you have a grenade, right? That's not just a household item.
B, you're stupid.
♪ (playful intro) ♪ - (man wheezing)
- (narrator) When a Brazilian farmer discovered a beehive on his property
in 2002, he knew precisely... - Ah, bees!
- (narrator) ...two things: bees can sting and they need
to be removed with fire.
No one knows why he decided... - Oh, god.
- (narrator) ...that fire was his best option.
All we do know is that he fashioned a makeshift helmet
from a plastic bag to save himself from both the smoke
and the bee stings. - On his face?
- (narrator) But besides all his careful planning,
he didn't bother to think that he might have to breathe
and failed to poke air holes
into the plastic bag. - (laughs) Oh my god!
- (narrator) When he didn't return home, his wife set out
to find him and soon discovered him suffocated
beneath the beehive. He was untouched by the bees, though.
- Okay... oh! These are dumb!
- I would have at least put an aquarium over my head
or something. - Why did he just cover his face?
They could sting anywhere else. - I can't help but think
people who do stuff like that, that it's more of interest
that they lasted that long. - He was trying to protect himself,
right, from the bees? And they didn't even touch him at all?
- And here's the other thing, like, at some point,
he had to go, "I can't breathe" and didn't rip a hole in it.
- Maybe he was set up. You're right. The wife?
Maybe she just wanted to get out-- maybe she wanted to go to the city.
Who knows? (laughs) I don't know. She's like, "I'm tired
of this farm life!" - You know, what would have saved him
is had the bees stung through the thing. (laughs)
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) This historic entry into the Darwin Awards
sees another clever man, founding father of the USA,
Governor Morris, come to an untimely end
through an eye-watering DIY medical procedure.
- Oh. - (narrator) When Morris began
suffering from a blockage in his urethra,
he took matters into his own hands. - (inhales sharply) Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! - (narrator) ...inserting a whale bone
into his urethra. All he managed to do
was give himself a deadly infection.
- Where'd he get a whale bone?! - (narrator) He died November 6, 1816,
probably feeling pretty silly.
- Ughhh! - He shoved that up his pee-pee?!
- A whale bone? He must have been pretty big.
- Why a whale bone? - That is so wretched and foul!
- Was he walking along and just like, "Golly, man, you know,
my peter hurts. I'm just gonna stick this bone
right up that hole." - Ughhhhhhhh!
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) One afternoon in 2005, Marco decided to clean the chimney
in his workshop. - (gasps) No!
- (narrator) ...to use a simple broom, he realized it was too small
for the job. - Okay.
- (narrator) Clearly, he had... - Clearly.
- (narrator) ...to improvise. He decided what he needed was a chain
to pull the broom through the chimney and a heavy object to weigh it down.
Looking in his workshop, he thought
he'd found the perfect thing... -Uh-oh.
- (narrator) ...a grenade.
All he had to do now was weld it to the broom and chain.
Except he failed to think about... - (whispers) Ah, jeez.
- (narrator) ...what could happen as he switched on his welding equipment.
As soon as the flame met the grenade, it exploded, killing him instantly.
- Duh! - (narrator) The chimney, however,
was left completely untouched by the blast.
- 1-800-BOMB-SQUAD. You got a bomb? We're...
the bomb. - That's red flag number one.
Why do you just have a grenade at your home?
- It's just a bad idea to have a grenade in your home.
- These people had to have been high or drunk or mentally unwell.
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) Two bored comrades in a Romanian aluminum factory
decided to have some fun with an air hose actually used
for industrial machinery. When blowing dust off their clothes
became boring, they cranked things up a notch
and decided to remove their clothes entirely.
Things quickly moved below the belt when one of the guys decided
he was going to see what happened when he pumped
six bars of atmospheric pressure... - No, no, no, no, no, no.
- (narrator) ...into his anus. Not only did he break
employment regulations, but he also broke right through
his intestinal tract, and he died within minutes
from severe internal hemorrhaging. - Stop!
Maybe I'll try it? - (React laughs)
- Horrible. - The butthole is a sensitive place,
you guys! - I mean, that's what you get.
Like, hello? What did you expect?
- He kind of deserved it! (laughs) No, no, no, no. Sorry.
No one deserves death. But, um...
maybe you don't deserve to live so much. (laughs)
No, no, no! I take that back. You DO deserve to live!
But if you don't live your life properly...
(snickers) Sorry.
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) 58-year-old Clifford Jones was driving
without a seatbelt. He was also driving without pants.
- I do it. - (narrator) When a regular drive
just wasn't interesting enough, he decided to watch a bit
of adult content on his phone and have some fun.
- Yanking the wank. - (narrator) If only he'd kept
his hands on the wheel. - Oh, god.
- (narrator) With the blood rushing away from his head,
he grew increasingly distracted... - Oh-- which head?
- (narrator) ...and lost control of his car.
As it crashed, he hurtled through the sunroof
and died on impact. - (sighs) Well...
at least he ended with a bang. (laughs)
- Died by vehicle masturbation.
- I feel like that has happened before,
just nobody knew that was why it happened.
- Could you imagine the high speed chase?
Like, "All right, we have a driver and a red sedan
masturbating furiously to some gay porn."
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) Gary Banning from North Carolina
was at his friend's house when he spotted a mysterious jar
of tasty-looking liquid. Assuming it was hot sauce
and without bothering to check, he flipped off the lid
and started to drink it. But he soon discovered
it wasn't hot sauce at all, but a jar of gasoline.
The shock of chugging gasoline was too much for Gary.
- You smell! Can you not smell? - (narrator) So, he spat it out,
then tried to calm down with a cigarette.
As soon as he lit it, he caught fire and died
the next day from his injury. - Insane.
- Com-mon! Sense! Com-mon! Sense!
Say it with me! Com-mon! Sense!
We're all commonly SENSING that it's a bad idea
to do ALL of these things. - Survivable the fittest.
I feel like my mom would just be like, "Don't play with these people!"
- They had to have been high. A majority of these people
had to have been high as [censored] at work or in their life.
- (man wheezing)
- (narrator) Texas shop owner Michael was an alcoholic,
but not an ordinary one. Due to a painful throat condition,
he couldn't drink through his mouth. This meant he had
to find other ways to consume... - No.
- (narrator) ...his liquor. - Up his butt.
- (narrator) And his wife said he soon became addicted to enemas.
This "popular" method is... - With alcohol?
- (narrator) ...far more dangerous. - It's a thing?
It's a thing? - (narrator) Alcohol is absorbed
directly through the capillaries in the rectum.
- Goddammit. - (narrator) So, one night, he wanted
to get blind drunk and decided the only way to do it was
to pour 100 fluid ounces of sherry... - 100?
- (narrator) ...up his rear end. - (laughs)
- (narrator) What he didn't know was that after he'd passed out,
the alcohol kept absorbing. - (gasps)
- (narrator) And he was dead by the morning.
- Yeah. - (narrator) The toxicology report
stated he had a blood alcohol level of 0.47%, meaning he'd pretty much
embalmed himself. - Ew, death is really gross.
- He's already embalmed, so can we get a discount?
- Let's pretend we are the people walking in.
"Oh, no! Someone's on the ground! Are they breathing?!
Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's up his butt?
Uh, mm-mm. Not going there. No. Sorry." (laughs) Like...
- Although he did have that throat issue... girl.
I don't know how else you can get drunk,
but you don't need to shove it up your ass.
Other things, sure. Alcohol? No.
Completely different purposes. He wanted to get [censored] up.
I just want to get [censored]. So...
- I want to try it, but I don't want to try it.
But I do want to try it. (laughs)
I just wanna know if it's different than getting another type of drunk.
- (React) Of these, which do you feel like was the dumbest?
- Oh! I'm gonna go with the grenade one.
- They were all really dumb. I can't pinpoint one
because all of them, you know, ended up how they ended up.
- I actually still think it's the whale bone.
- (React) Okay. - You have no business doing that.
- Which death do you think was the dumbest?
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