I'll admit it.
I was a little hesitant to talk about this particular topic
because, as much as we all talk about it,
I didn't want to open a can of worms.
There are so many different factors
to becoming a successful coach
and everybody's got an opinion on it.
Whether it's your methodology,
your certifications,
your business intellect, and so on and so forth.
Let me be real honest with you.
There is no 3-step framework
or a step-by-step formula that you can follow
to be a successful coach.
But here at Evercoach, we've worked with
some of the greatest coaches,
some of the smartest brains in the industry,
and so we've found a pattern.
We have been able to observe a pattern.
A pattern that gives us the foundation
and the starting point of these amazing,
outstanding coaches.
And it's the answer to the question
what makes a coach great?
Hi, this is Ajit Nawalkha
and today I'm sharing with you
the top skills every successful coach has
and you should too.
What makes Steven Spielberg,
Will Smith,
Michelle Obama
and Oprah so great?
There is a secret.
They never stop learning
and honing on their skills.
They know what they're really good at
and they also know what they need to keep working on.
Being self-aware is always the first step
to becoming the best version of yourself.
So let's start with what you need to develop
to become a great coach.
The most obvious but least talked about skill
is deep listening.
If you're doing most of the talking in a coaching session,
you're probably not doing a very great job
at being an amazing coach.
Deep listening, or sometimes referred to
as active listening,
is where you give your client your undivided attention.
Not like when you get together with a friend
and your mind starts wandering away
as they're telling their day
and they're telling their story
and they're talking about something that
they've talked about a million times...
Don't look at me like that.
I know we've all done it.
It's a lot of work.
Oh well, work is hard.
You're not really listening to me, are you?
Uh-huh.
I mean, I could say anything right now.
Like you're a complete tool.
Uh-huh.
The skill of deep listening or active listening
means that you're able to put away your thoughts
and whatever's coming up for you emotionally
and whatever is happening around you,
and really focus on what your client is saying,
and really observing and being present
with your client in the moment of the conversation.
It also means that you're able to ask
follow-up questions and have deep reflection
on what they are thinking,
what they're talking about.
Deep listening allows you to really
understand your client's mental state.
It allows you to really be able to see
and listen into things that they might not
be able to communicate,
they might be unaware of.
So practice mindfulness,
presence
and listening to your client.
A great way to prepare yourself to be present
and listen deeply to your clients
is to follow a ritual.
A ritual that allows you to slow down,
a ritual that allows you to put away your own
thoughts and feelings and emotions,
and get really present in the moment.
These rituals differ from person to person,
but some rituals that can definitely help you
include meditation,
stretching,
going for a run or
or listening to tunes you really love.
What are some of the rituals that you follow?
Go ahead and type it in the comment section below.
I'll be looking forward to reading those.
Now, sometimes our clients might find it
a little bit hard to communicate certain sensitive topics.
Things or events that might be a little bit hard on them
and they might be finding it a little bit difficult
to find words that could communicate
how they feel.
They might need a minute
or they might need 10 minutes
to really be able to process all that
that's coming up for them
and communicate with you, so you can
at least have a glimpse of what
they're really feeling.
And that is totally normal.
Some coaches get nervous when their client
is stopped and are not really sharing anything,
and there is dead silence on a call.
We get nervous and we feel that the
client's not getting any outcome from our conversation,
and we start throwing many different questions at them.
You don't need to do that.
That can actually sometimes confuse your client
even more.
What you may want to lean on, in that moment,
is to lean on the second skill
that you really want to master to be a successful coach.
Which is to be able to read body language.
Body language or the knowledge
that we can get from somebody's body presence
is often overlooked.
This happens because sometimes
we're so much in our own mind trying to figure out
what's happening in their mind
that we ignore a signal that is giving us all
the information that we may potentially need
in the sense of their body language.
Look for what's happening even while they're talking
or not talking.
Are they making eye contact with you?
How's their body position?
Are they crossing their arms?
Are they not crossing their arms?
Are they making gestures?
Are they not making gestures?
You will be able to identify, with practice,
when they are comfortable in the conversation
and when they might be getting uncomfortable
in the conversation.
Can you kick me out of the meeting?
Go.
Mastering this skill of understanding
their body language can be extremely powerful
and useful to your coaching practice,
especially when you're challenging your clients,
when you're nudging them to something
that they might be mildly uncomfortable with
or would be a place where they feel challenged.
This is the time they may need you to pause,
and stop and observe,
and this is the time where body language,
or understanding the body intelligence of your client,
may be extremely useful.
Another skill that is extremely useful
in your coaching practice to drive
great results with your clients is
eliciting new ideas.
Eliciting new ideas simply means that
you're able to show your client a new perspective
or direct them towards a conversation
that will force them or encourage them
to find new ideas,
new perspectives,
and challenges their current reality.
Most times when we are facing a problem,
we get stuck in our own scenarios.
We think about the same problem in the same way
and think they will be the same outcome.
We convince ourselves that there is no way out.
You're not getting out of here.
Yes, we are.
No, you're not.
Yes, we are!
There is no way out of here!
But great coaches know that,
when our clients are stuck in that loop,
when they are being stuck in a fixed mindset,
if we ask the right questions,
if we elicit some great ideas
or help our clients elicit some great ideas,
it can get them out of that challenging state
to a more powerful positive state.
If we can support our clients
to get to a new idea,
to a new perspective,
we can help them change their story.
Eliciting is about tapping into your client's core
and helping them find those dreams and goals
and strategies that they didn't even know
that they always had.
There's one key element that you have to remember
while helping your clients elicit ideas.
Don't cheat.
Think about it like this.
You never learned anything new
when you just cheated in your exams.
You cheated, you got the answer,
you might have got the grades,
but you didn't really learn anything.
When you cheat in exams, you almost immediately
forget all the answers and no progress
really has been made.
It might give you temporary satisfaction,
but you don't really make progress.
Believe me, I know.
How do you think I got the occasional A grade?
So don't let your clients cheat.
Don't give them the answer.
Let them sit in that challenge
and find and elicit that answer by themselves.
Let them go on that journey
so they also learn through that experience.
The last skill I want to share with you today
in this video is what I call the sixth sense.
I see dead people.
No, not that sixth sense.
I am talking about intuition.
Just like all the other skills that we talked about,
intuition is something you need to nurture,
you need to practice.
Intuition is about taking all the different cues and
different ideas that your clients may have presented,
may have leaned into from their body intelligence
to their thoughts to elicited ideas.
All of them coming together to create
a uniform thought that may be the breakthrough
that they are really looking for.
This is how you may feel like when
you have intuition knocking at your door.
You may feel there is an innate force inside you
that is compelling you to ask a question
or share an insight or lean into a topic
that you're currently discussing
or have discussed before.
This force is intuition.
This force is innate intelligence.
This force is you connecting all the dots,
leaning into something that may create
a breakthrough for your clients
that they are yet to discover.
This intuitive capability is a powerful force
but, like I said before,
you need to develop it.
And for you to develop it,
you need to start trusting it.
You need to start trusting when
this force is coming through you,
wanting you to ask that question
or lean into that topic.
As you start to lean into your intuition,
as you start to act on it,
as you start to really listen in to your intuition,
and ask those questions
and go into those areas,
you will find your intuition getting
developed more and more,
and this force getting stronger and stronger.
Of course, I'm not saying that your intuition
will always be right.
Sometimes your coachee may not resonate
with what you're saying,
they might not be present
to the same situation or challenge or insight
that you're present to.
When that happens, don't be too harsh on yourself.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
You're a coach, not a mind-reader.
Where's Ruth?
She went back to the RV.
Of course!
He can read minds!
But it is a fact that the more you train your intuition,
the more you lean in and act towards intuition,
the better your intuitive hunch
or innate intelligence will get.
And the better it gets, the easier it becomes
to create a transformation for your client.
And isn't that what we're all trying to do?
So if nothing else,
these are the four skills that you want to focus on
to create greater results for your clients.
Deep listening,
reading body language,
eliciting,
and intuition.
Which of these skills do you think are
the easiest to master or the hardest master?
Which is the skill that I might have ignored in this video
that you would like me to cover in a future video?
Let me know in the comment section below.
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Thank you so much for watching
and have an absolutely phenomenal day.