>>OKAY, IN THE NEXT SHOT THE DARK LORD
RAISES HIS WEAPON AND SAYS, FOOLS, IF YOU-
[TELEPHONE RINGS] HELLO, WRITER'S ROOM.
>>THE NEW ANIMATED CHARACTER WANTS TO SEE YOU.
>>OKAY, SEND HIM RIGHT IN.
ALL RIGHT GUYS IT'S THE MENTOR CHARACTER.
THE ANIMATOR'S JUST FINISHED HIM LAST WEEK.
SIR GAVIN, BUDDY, HOW'S IT GOING?
>>NOT GOOD.
I'VE BEEN DOING SOME RESEARCH AND I'M VERY
CONCERNED ABOUT THIS MOVIE.
>>CAN WE HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING?
>>YES.
YOU CAN PROMISE NOT TO KILL ME.
>>[LAUGHTER]
>>SO YOU PROMISE NOT TO KILL ME?
>>GAVIN, YOU ARE A MAIN CHARACTER BUDDY.
>>YES, BUT MENTOR CHARACTERS
LIKE ME ALWAYS DIE.
THERE'S QUI-GON JINN, CAPTAIN PIKE,
ASLAN- >>BUT WE MADE YOU AN
AWESOME FIGHTER LIKE OBI-WAN OR SIRIUS BLACK-
>>OR YODA.
>>OKAY, YOU KNOW ALL THOSE PEOPLE ARE DEAD, RIGHT?
>>GAVIN, CALM DOWN OKAY?
MENTORS ARE TOUGH.
>>REALLY?
BECAUSE THEY ALL SEEM TO DIE VERY WUSSY DEATHS.
LIKE FALLING OFF THE CLIFF AFTER THE BALROG LET GO.
OR CONTRACTING MAGICAL ARM CANCER AND THEN COMMITTING
SNAPE ASSISTED SUICIDE.
>>IS THERE ANYWAY YOU'LL TRUST US?
>>YES, YOU CAN LET ME
HELP WITH THE STORY.
>>OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO.
>>YOU GUYS ARE STORYBOARDING MY DEATH?
>>NO.
NO, WE'RE NOT.
YES WE ARE.
>>HOW COULD YOU!
I AM THE PROTAGONIST'S FATHER.
>>AW, BUT SIR GAVIN THIS IS DISNEY.
>>[GASP] THIS IS A DISNEY FILM?
I'M A DISNEY PARENT?
YOU MURDERERS.
>>YOUR FATE WAS DECIDED BEFORE YOU WERE CREATED.
>>PLEASE, HAVE MERCY.
NOT ALL DISNEY CHARACTERS HAVE TO LOSE A PARENT.
>>NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
JUST CINDERELLA, SNOW WHITE,
ALADDIN, JASMINE,
SHANG, QUASIMODO,
ESMERALDA, ARIEL,
MOWGLI, TARZAN,
JANE, PETER PAN,
THE LOST BOYS, CHRISTOPHER ROBIN,
BAMBI, SIMBA,
NEMO, TODD,
THE ARISTOCATS, ARTHUR,
BELLE, TIANA,
POCAHONTAS, REMY,
LINGUINI, FLICK,
ATTA, ANDY,
KUZCO, FLYNN RIDER,
ANNA, ELSA,
HUEY, DEWEY, AND LOUIE,
LILO, WILL TURNER, ELIZABETH SWAN,
GABRIELLA, HANNAH MONTANA,
MIA THERMOPOLIS, AND POLLYANA.
THE MOUSE CREATETH AND THE MOUSE DESTROYETH.
>>STOP RIGHT THERE!
AGENT DONOVAN; CHARACTER PROTECTION PROGRAM.
SIR GAVIN'S COMING WITH US FOR HIS OWN SAFETY.
>>OH, YOU THINK HE'LL BE SAFE IN SOME ROM-COM
OR BOLLYWOOD FLICK?
HA!
WE'LL FIND HIM UNCLE WALT ALWAYS GETS HIS MAN.
>>I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M THE GUY WHO SAVED JAR JAR BINKS.
>>[GASPS] >>I'M NOT PROUD.
ALL RIGHT BOYS, LET'S HEAD OUT.
>>UM QUESTION; DO I HAVE TO LIVE WITH JAR JAR?
>>NO, WE KILLED HIM AFTER LIKE AN HOUR.
>>OH GOOD.