(ominous music and heavy robotic footsteps)
Robot: Prisoner, you will tell me the location of the human resistance.
I've got your "resistance"... Right here!
(electricity charging)
(electrocution and pained screaming)
Soldier: Guh... Ah... (pained grunts)
You'll never win!
Incorrect. We will win. We will kill all humans!
Really? Yesss.
You're gonna kill ALL humans? Yesss, all the humans...
Then what about THAT one over there?
Tom: Beep boop beep b-
Uh...
That... is a robot.
That... is definitely a HUMAN in a robot costume!
(forced laughter) What?! No! I am... not that.
Beep boop.
Yes you are, you TRAITOR!
Am not... Are too!
D2! Great guy. Personal friend. Personal ROBOT friend.
Beep boop! That checks out.
If you're a robot, do something only a robots can do.
Okay! Uh...
What was that?!
That... was me using my robot arms.
It is true, humans do not have robot arms, so he must be a robot!
He's lying! Robots cannot lie.
He's not a robot! Are you a robot?
Yes. He says he's a robot.
But what about if he's lying about being a robot?!
Then he is a human... and must DIE!
As the cyber-creed clearly states that all humans must-
I'm a robot. Well, okay, that's fine then.
You robots are the worst.
Oh! You said I was a robot!
That is true, you did say that!
So if I say it's a robot, that makes it a robot, right?
Okay! Maybe I'M a robot!
Are you a robot? No!! I'm a human!
I'm a robot!
You're a robot?! Quick! Release them!
Sweet, thanks! Wh- He's...
Soldier: You know what... Look...
You robots have no feelings, right?
Affirmative. No feelings.
Right. Okay. Hey!
Hey, what's up? You're FAT.
Ugh! Oh god...
It's fine. I feel nothing.
You're ugly. OKAY...
Mm-hmm... Mm...
Nobody likes you.
(pathetic cry)
Can we kill him?
Bro! Negative.
We do not yet know the location of the human resistance.
And you never will! (patriotic music rises)
You will NEVER beat us...
Because humanity...
We are brave.
We are fearless.
We... are honourable!
And we- They're in Sector 24E!
BRO! Location confirmed.
Commencing Operation: KILL ALL HUMANS!
(evil laughter)
(electricity powering down)
Switched off the mainframe so...
Robot invasion over, I guess?
(relieved laughter)
Huh. (screamed cheering)
(ominous music)
(shop ambience)
Oh my God! Hello!
Remember me? From the uh... Robot death camp?
"Beep boop!" (laughter)
... Yes. (exhales fondly)
How long ago was that? It feels like yesterday.
It was yesterday.
It WAS yesterday... Yeah...
Well! No hard feeling, eh?
(explosion)
Oh my God! It's an alien invasion!
(laser blast and splatter) (aliens cheering)
Oh, gimmie a break...
Hello yes I am an alien. Death to all humans or whatever.
... Bro... Beep boop...
(laser blast and splatter) Nyeh...
(music)
Tom: Thank you to Surfshark for sponsoring this hidden identity themed sketch!
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allowing you to protect your identity, your anonymity, and access content that isn't available in your country.
Howdy, American Netflix! Netflix: Yee-haw, I'm walkin' here.
Tom: If you use code "TOMSKA" when signing up using the link in the description, you'll get 84% off
and 4 months extra for free. So, if you wanna protect yourself from prying eyes, evil robots, or our new alien overlords:
Sign up to Surfshark today! Or don't! I'm a cartoon, I can't make you do anything. But I can turn into a horse!
(pop) Beep boop!