are you Jordan I'm fine what's what are
you up to where are you well I prefer
not to disclose my precise location yet
I'm out in nature and I think this is a
perfect time to reconnect with the
natural world if not the human world
what question what why are you hesitant
to disclose your exact location you're
not Jennifer Aniston you're you're
acting like you're something super I I
can't disclose my location Jordan
because of my massive star power I would
be endangered as a celebrity you are a
common flubber ooh what would be the
danger of you disclosing your exact
address what what tell me what would
happen you might one day visit hey no
one's here to laugh at my jokes I'll
laugh at them myself
Jordan is there anything you'd like to
tell us about your daily routine how are
you coping as an introvert this is a
minor adjustment for me but again I just
concentrate on my solitary activities
line you have the bullwhip
yeah I have a bullwhip or as you call it
d bullwhip well you demonstrated your
bullwhip abilities on the show over the
years are you doing that now yes it's a
great way to keep both minds and body
occupied I think it's important that I
understand how that's even a skill
you're just whipping you're just
whipping a whip around you're propelling
a piece of leather faster than the speed
of sound and creating a sonic boom in
fact it takes both mind spirit and body
to achieve that just body your arms I
think mostly is there any way you can
prop up the iPhone and show us you with
the bullwhip yes sure I can display the
activity with the bullwhip for your
pleasure all right thank you robot are
those pajama bottoms well I like to have
the full range of motion as I exist in
my daily routine I don't know why you
would choose to restrict yourself hey I
don't want to see your your balls I
don't think you can
well for a second I saw something
jostling around let's have a little
bullwhip demonstration yes this is eight
ten-foot David Morgan 455 kangaroo hi
bullet okay
no one asked no one cared so that's the
kind of that was it now is it even
spired me and i go the go outside grab
some garden hose and whip it around in
my pajama bottoms I have a question for
you I know you're a clean freak
specifically I believe you moved into a
new house recently did you have time to
install a bidet before you moved in I
don't have a day in the conventional
sense I have what you might consider to
be a human being sighs a day that is a
specific handle that I had installed on
my shower you clean your ass in the
shower I've installed a special handle
at a low altitude to concentrate more on
the areas below the waist which areas
are those the areas below the waist to
me it's a no-brainer you move a couple
of feet from the toilet to the shower
and all the problems are solved you may
be on to a great idea here why don't you
do a PSA right now telling people jordan
shlonsky here instead of using toilet
paper this is what I do three two one go
this is Jordan shlonsky and if you're
scrambling to find toilet paper needs
difficult times I'd like to take this
opportunity to remind you that you
likely have the shower just a few feet
from your toilet home that doesn't
explain it I think it does explain it
not everybody has installed a special
hose any altitude showerhead is
sufficient to do the job and remember
toilet paper has no power when you wash
your ass in the shower we have learned
in this conversation that you spend a
lot of time outside probably because
your wife won't let you inside you wear
kind of crazy pajama bottoms and you
clean your ass with a shower hose
congratulations it looks like your kind
will end up taking over this planet and
we will have to serve you and your alien
friends as overlords this experience may
end up being a watershed moment in the
movie where its isolation that will do
well for people like me and poorly for
people like you always a pleasure
talking to you Jordan likewise I'm
ending this meeting I understand I hope
we never see each other again
likewise robot no but washer yes
[Laughter]