I've said it before and I'm gonna say it again,
Everyone on this earth has needs.
It doesn't matter whether you want to have needs or not,
you have them.
A need is something that is required in order to live,
succeed or be happy.
And here's the thing about needs:
you can't unneed them.
You can't decide that something you need is not required.
You can't talk yourself out of it.
Your one option, when it comes to having a need,
is to meet it.
How to Meet an Unmet Need
But this is easier said than done.
Why is it easier said than done?
Because we so often have aspects of us
that are standing in a way of having the need met.
This is not natural.
You are born understanding that your need will be met
and that it will be easy.
A baby is not born panicking that it will not get milk,
or worrying about having its diaper change.
To a baby, being cuddled is not an impossible dream.
We learn through our trauma in our life experience,
that our need will not be met,
and worse than that, that our needs are not OK.
A common pattern that we have
is we go to the places where our needs can't be met,
in order to get our needs met.
It's a little bit like going to an auto-repair shop
when you wanna shop for food.
Or it's the person who wants desperately
to have a loving connective partnership
and yet directly opts for partners
who are unavailable, who are avoidant in nature.
The primary need in all beings
is the need for love.
But what's standing in the way
of us being able to get this need met?
Oftentimes, it's thoughts like:
"Love is not actually ever going to come to me."
It's thoughts like:
"Love is dangerous."
If, in our life experience,
we experience love in a context of ulterior motives,
we develop a belief,
that's embedded in our bodies,
that says, that love cannot ever happen without a catch.
Because of these types of barriers to love,
we do not allow in the very thing we need and want so desperately.
>From this state, so often,
we are the person who's starving for food,
in a grocery store, convinced there's nothing to eat.
The people in our life can see that
they are giving us the very thing we need and want,
but we can't take it in.
We have to become aware of what we need.
To do this, we have to be able to recognize,
the feeling of dissatisfaction,
craving, wanting, emptiness, desperation.
For this very reason,
if you're having a difficult time feeling,
you obviously won't be able to feel
when you feel those feelings.
So the first step is to watch my video on YouTube titled:
How to Feel
Once you watch that video,
and you start practicing how to feel,
and you start to notice those sensations
of craving, of wanting, of emptiness, of lack,
you look to the opposite side of that
for what it is that you're lacking,
what it is that you're craving,
what it is that you're wanting.
Some of our needs are quite simple to meet.
For most of us in the Western world,
we don't fly into a frenzy when we feel hunger.
Why? Because we know it's just as simple
as going to a grocery store, or going to our own fridge.
However, if you're raised in a Third World country,
where it was difficult to find food,
you can bet, that when you feel that feeling of craving for food,
it comes with a lot of resistance.
Resistance because you don't believe
that need will actually be met.
Now, this is in the Western World,
much different, when it comes to emotional needs.
We live in a day and age
where most of our emotional needs simply are not met.
And so, when we feel an emotional need,
we have the same reaction
as somebody who would be starving for food.
We are completely convinced
that there's no way to get that need met.
So we start to panic,
we start to go into lack,
we start to feel as if there is no way
that we're going to be able to satisfy
those negative feelings within us.
We are not going to be able to go in the direction of what we need.
We don't even know how.
I want you to understand that trauma,
at its fundamental level,
is the experience of lacking something
that we need and want.
Particularly when it applies to emotional needs.
So, once you have identified what your unmet need is,
that need you feel is difficult to fulfill,
I want you to ask yourself the following question:
"What would I have to give up in order to have ...?"
fill in the blank with what you need.
For example, for me to be able to feel love
when I'm sitting in the room with someone,
I would have to give up my belief that love is dangerous.
I would have to give up my constant thinking,
because my mind brings me out of my body,
so I can't feel connection to people as real people in the room.
I would have to give up the story that I always lose what I love.
I would have to give up sending text messages
to that person who never sends any back.
Keep in mind that, anywhere we have an identification,
anywhere our identity is wrapped up in a state
of being, or behaviour, or thought
that causes one of our needs to not be met,
we will have to come up against
and let go of, our own sense of identity,
which feels like a life and death choice,
in order to meet that need.
For example,
let's say that you are the family scapegoat.
If you are a family scapegoat,
you grew up developing an identity
that you are bad and wrong.
You didn't want to be that way,
but the ego (the ID),
became attached to the concept of being bad and wrong.
So let's say that you want love,
love is a direct contradiction to shame,
which is feeling like something about you is bad and wrong.
So, when you go to get love,
instantly your very ego is going to fight against that love,
because it will perceive that love as a death of itself.
The mental understanding of what you have to give up
in order to get needs met and actions you can take,
is absolutely no comparison,
to the actual physical experience,
of being able to feel that need being met.
And you can actually do this.
I'm gonna teach you how.
For example,
let's say that you want connection.
Obviously, my best bet of getting this need met,
is to find someone who also wants connection.
So let's say I find that person,
I sit down across them in a room.
What I do is I focus all of my attention
on them and only them.
I feel myself open up to them on an energetic level.
I may open up even verbally by talking to them,
(If talking doesn't take me out of connection).
And what I do is I watch the resistance that I have to that.
I watch how my mind wants to take me away.
I watch the thoughts that come in like:
"This is not OK,
the only reason that this person is here right now,
is because of... some ulterior motive."
You want to watch the ways that your own being
resists the very thing you want.
Stay with that resistance long enough
that the resistance itself begins to settle,
and you start to feel yourself go into more of a vulnerable state.
Once you notice where in your body you can't feel connection,
switch your focus to where in your body you can feel connection.
Pay attention to your heart.
Can you feel it there?
If not, can you feel in your skin?
If not, is there a part of your body like even your knee,
where you can actually feel that connection?
>From there,
you wanna bring that sensation of the connection,
as far and deep into your body and through your whole body,
as you possibly can.
Or let's say that what you want is abundance.
Go to a place that's super fancy,
something that symbolizes wealth, for you.
Sit there and try to feel like a king,
try to feel like you own it,
try to feel that sensation that you have so much money
that you literally can't find enough stuff to spend it on.
When you do this, I want you to watch
the resistance that comes up in your body.
What kind of thoughts are trying to tell you:
"That this is not the case."
"This is not what you deserve." "This is not the reality."
Anything that is getting in the way of you actually having access
to that feeling within your body.
Stay with that as long as you can,
until those thoughts and that resistance starts to settle.
And you feel yourself sort of opening towards that feeling of abundance.
Once you notice where in your body
you can't feel abundance,
switch your focus to where you can feel abundance.
So maybe you can't feel it in your chest,
maybe it's closed off to that sensation of having
lots and lots and lots of money.
But maybe in your arms, you do actually feel
that feeling of expansion, that feeling of abundance,
that feeling of wealth.
Put all your focus there,
and spread that through your entire body if you can.
I did a video a while back called: "Feeling Signatures".
If you haven't watched that video, I highly suggest you watch it.
Or even if you have, go watch it again.
Because I explained how people can use feeling signatures
to make themselves feel better.
But as it applies to meeting the unmet needs,
it is so valuable.
So for example, let's say that what I want is belonging.
But I haven't really had a direct access with belonging.
And so how do I know what that feels like?
What I do, is I look for some experience I've had in the past,
that was the closest
to what I think belonging might have felt like.
So let's say, for me,
the closest I got to belonging
was this memory I have of roasting marshmallows
over a campfire.
What I do is I take my attention and I place it
fully and totally (like in a meditation),
on that memory, on that experience,
on the feeling of marshmallows.
When I feel that in my body,
I spread that sensation
through every cell, into my bone marrow
around every single organ.
I use that sensation as a resource for belonging.
The reality of this universe
is that it's governed by the Law of Attraction.
Things of like frequency match and coalesce.
This is the real reason that people who are born wealthy
have no problem creating wealth.
They do not often have many thoughts or actions,
or life experiences that contradict the frequency of wealth.
In the absence of the contradiction
nothing is preventing them from manifesting that need
immediately.
When you release resistance
to the things that are preventing you from having what you need,
when you give up what you have to give up, in order to get a need met,
you can allow yourself to feel the opposite vibration of that lack.
When you feel the opposite thing, the thing you need,
and even more than that,
when you recognize that you are feeling it,
so it becomes real to your embodiment,
the need is being met.
Now, in a Law of Attraction-based universe,
when that need starts getting met on that very deep,
visceral, emotional and embodied level,
the Law of Attraction must respond to it.
It responds by bringing this need to you
in ever increasing ways.
It lines you up with the people
who can meet those needs.
It lines you up with ways
that you can meet your own needs.
It makes you coalesce
with the circumstances, to bring about the goals,
that you want to achieve.
It's almost like the Universe lays the path out
for you to get those needs met.
And it's no longer a question,
because the "how" is done for you.
Once you start this practise
of meeting your unmet needs,
especially those that you feel are out of your reach,
there will no longer be a lack within your being.
You will be restored to a state of wholeness.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Krzysztof Piotrowski & Tanya Duarte