- Hey there, beautiful.
Don't worry about anything else, let's just
be present in this moment, and get ready
to relate on a spiritual level.
Waddup everyone, it's your girl, IISuperwomanII.
If you love bras, raise your hand.
Okay, now take a look around.
Men.
Men everywhere raising their hands, as if
they're on some sort of invisible rollercoaster
that's only going down.
If you're a woman, and you raised you hand,
you know what, straight up, you're simply
a better person than me.
I strongly dislike bras, and I'm not gonna stand here
and complain about all the fairytale reasons, no,
I'm gonna factually tell you why I dislike bras.
So all my ladies, and my fellas, that wear bras,
let me know if you can relate.
First of all, I walk into a bra shop, right,
and I instantly don't know what the f is going on.
I am confizzled, just racks on racks on racks
of different bras, there's always something new.
Bras are like mascara, you know they have that
one simple job, but they're gonna keep convincing you
that this one job, they're getting better and better at it.
Like yo, I know we said that last mascara was gonna
extend your lashes, but now this one, this new one,
this is the one that's gonna extend your lashes.
This one does it better, okay, you use this mascara,
man them gonna be using your eyelashes to play jump rope.
You got bras called push-up plus, push-up flexi,
super foam gel push-up, padded push-up diva,
the nipple gripper 3000, and I walk into the place
just like, miss, yeah miss, I'm looking for the
bra that just holds my boobs.
I am overwhelmed by all this terminology,
and all the options, I just want a bra that's
gonna prevent my nipples from cutting people
when I hug them in cold environments.
Because if it's cold, straight up, I'm gonna
say bye to you, we're gonna hug, and then I'm
gonna step away and you're gonna look like
Leonidas from 300 after he got shot by 400 arrows.
And then I'm gonna be standing here like
Edward Scissornipple.
That's right, jut hire me for all your
gardening need, just like...
Because the thing with the fancy bras, right,
is that I always buy them, I walk into the store
and I convince myself, yeah, I'm gonna wear this
bright yellow neon highlighter-looking lace bra.
But in reality, that is just never practical.
Can I just be real, I own 25 bras, okay,
and I wear the exact same one every single day.
I wear the same bra so often, that I can't even afford
to wash that one bra, because if I did,
and it was in the laundry for four hours,
I wouldn't know what to do, I wouldn't be able to
leave, I would have to put a hold in my calendar,
like, do not do anything, for four hours.
If I had a dollar for every time I had to take that
one bra out of the laundry without washing it
because I had to wear it again, I'd be a millionaire.
I'm disgusting, okay, I have separation anxiety
from said bra.
And don't get it twisted, I have a drawer full of sexy bras,
but they never work out, because when I put on that
bright yellow bra, and then I put a t-shirt on top of it,
it looks like I'm breastfeeding Bart Simpson.
Not to mention that the fabric and lace have now
created six bumps under my shirt, and I'm just sitting
there like, hey, I have six nipples, and I'm
waiting to feed my cats.
Just defeats the purpose of the bra.
I mean, look at this bra, look at this bra.
I have never worn this bra, except for the one time
I tried it on in the change room, and can we be real,
Beyoncé was probably like playing in the store,
I must have been fiddling myself, to convince me
that this impractical jungle boogalooging bra would work.
♫ I've got the bare necessities,
♫ The simple bare necessities ♫
And also, I know what you're thinking,
you're like okay Lilly, that bra looks pretty big,
like what are you doing with a bra that big?
And to you I say, I'm a tomboy with a figure.
Underneath that t-shirt, tracing my curves with ya finger.
Whaddup Voices reference.
And can we talk about how for something so supportive,
bras are actually huge jerks?
They're so expensive, why are bras so expensive?
I walk into a bra store, and I literally have to
start thinking about my financial situation in life.
I decide to buy one bra, I nervously walk to the cashier,
she's just like, okay, beep, beep, beep,
would you like to lease this bra?
(laughter)
Ah that really hurt.
My boobs got me out here making life decisions,
okay, I'm like, do I buy this bra,
or do I pay for my rent this month?
I know if I buy this bra, for the rest of the month
I'm gonna be up in Chipotle not getting the guac,
because that ish is extra.
I got a fancy bra, and now I'm out here with plain chips,
with six nipples, looking like Marge Simpson.
You know what the most annoying part is?
Is that I will buy this super expensive bra that
I tried on and I was so hype about, and
the next day I'll put it on and I'm ready
to be supported AF, I put it on, and suddenly,
this mother effer don't fit no more, I go over a speedbump
on the way to work and my nipple pops out.
What happened from yesterday to today, where
this bra no longer fits me?
I just don't understand why bras don't fit
the same way they fit like they fit in the change room.
I'm starting to think that my nipples just moving,
okay, my nipples just like one of those lost
Uber drivers, it's like all the way over here,
and I'm, hello? Yeah, no, you gotta meet me at the pin,
the pin right here, yeah make a u-turn, yeah yeah,
now make a u-turn, the pin, bro, you's over her!
Straight up nipple, Imma three star your blood clot.
Oh my goodness, and do not even get me started,
do not even get me started on washing bras.
I can't.
I don't even understand what wizardry happens
in my washing machine, can someone tell me,
because legitimately, it's supernatural.
My washing machine is Hogwarts.
I will put three bras into the washing machine,
they will wash, I will open the washing machine
and I will take out a pretzel, literally my bras
have turned into a fisherman's knot.
Why, why did this happen?
Honestly, why do bad things happen to good people?
My bras are so tangled and twisted and out of order
that they're no longer spelt B R A,
they're spelt B A R,
and that is exactly where I'm headed,
because of this bra trauma.
And you know once in a while, AKA every day,
when I'm on a plane, or like you know when
I'm in a movie theater, in some sort of public setting,
I'll be like yo, Imma just unhook my bra,
and I don't think anyone's gonna notice.
And every time I think that, but this is what happens.
Let me, I'm gonna unhook my bra right now actually,
and within a matter of seconds, my bra will do this
thing where it leaves my boobs and it comes up here,
and I'd be like hello, I have three chins.
Dear gravity, on behalf of Sandra Bullock and I,
F you.
Whyyyy?
Anyways, no bras were hurt in the making of this video.
Except this one.
Ahhhh!
Hey, hope you enjoyed that video, if you did
please give it a thumbs up, can you relate to
what I am saying, or is this just me,
am I crazy, are my boobs weird, just let me know,
comment below, let me know your thoughts and feelings
about bras, whether you're a male or female,
I would love to know, you can check out
my last video right over there, it is a collab
with the First Lady of the United States,
Michelle Obama, purse so heavy gettin' Oprah dollars.
My second vlog channel is right over there,
other than that, I just wanna say thank you so much
because my birthday campaign selling the Rafikis was
so extremely successful, we sold over 13 000 Rafikis,
that's 13 000 bracelets that will support
women's education in Kenya, so thank you so much,
that is so much more than I ever thought we would sell,
so thank you, and even though the birthday campaign is done
you can still buy a #GirlLove Rafiki, the link is
in the description, they will continue to be on sale,
from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much
for supporting that cause.
Other than that, make sure you subscribe.
Because I make new videos every Monday and
Thursday, and I'd love for you to be here.
One love Superwoman, that is a wrap, and...