Eat Sleep Dreamers, this lesson will change the way you speak English forever! Honestly!
You don't believe me. I'm going to show you the secret to being polite in English. It's
simple, it's easy, everyone can do it and you can use it in your English today. It's
going to be unbelievabubble. That's unbelievable and bubble. Unbelievabubble. It's not really
a word but I like it.
Why is being polite so important. Well it's about respect. It's about showing respect
for the person that you are speaking to. It's not about formal or informal language because
it's important to be polite in all situations. Now how to be polite, it's such a cultural
thing and on Eat Sleep Dream English I teach British English so naturally what we are going
to talk about today is useful for a British English context. Obviously in other types
of English there might be different rules. Are you ready to learn this secret? The secret
to being polite in English. Ok, let's start with a request. Ok, here we are, we have a
pen. You have the pen and I want the pen so how can I say it in the shortest way? Well,
I could say 'Pen?' that's very direct. You would think that was quite rude yeah? I mean
that's, I'm not being polite there, pen, it's very direct. Ok, let's see if I can add some
words to that so 'Pen, please?' Alright I've said please so it's a bit more polite but
still very direct. Too direct, I wouldn't say that was very polite. Ok, 'Pass the pen,
please?' Ok, I've added some words but still not particularly polite so we need maybe a
modal verb so 'Can you pass me the pen, please?' Ok, that's a request it's quite polite Can
you pass me the pen, please? Yeah I think that would be ok. How could I make can more
polite? Well, I can change it to could which is a little less direct. So could you pass
me the pen, please? Ok, it's a nice request. Alright so 'Could you pass me the pen, please?'
How can we make that even more polite? Alright, here's a phrase 'Would you mind passing me
the pen, please?' So would you mind and then passing so the verb in the ing, so would you
mind helping me, would you mind giving me. So would you mind passing me the pen, please?
That's very polite. Can we make it even more polite? Ok, let me try. 'Excuse me, I'm so
sorry to bother you but would you mind passing me the pen, please?' Wow! That's long, that's
a long sentence. Super polite! Very indirect excuse me I'm so sorry to bother you but would
you mind passing me the pen, please? Alright, so there you see the transformation. We've
gone from 'pen?' which is very direct through to 'Excuse, I'm so sorry to bother you but
would you mind passing me the pen, please?' Very indirect, so many words but extremely
polite I would say. So the rule here is the more words there are, the politer it is. Ok,
now that doesn't mean we use any words, just throwing in random words just to make a longer
sentence. It has to be the right words so would you mind and then the verb, would you
mind passing me the pen, please? Those are the right words. We use them for polite requests.
Now context is really important here. Take for example a coffee shop, the barista is
taking my order and they are expecting me to order coffee, probably it's quite busy,
I don't need to use a really long sentence 'Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you but
would you mind....I don't need to say all that because the context, it's just not necessary.
So I could order a coffee by saying 'Can I have a cappuccino, please?' or 'I'll have
a latte, please' and the barista would think that that was still very polite. Whereas maybe
in a situation where the person isn't expecting me to ask for something, so in the street
if I want directions then I would definitely be polite. It's a stranger, I would say to
them 'Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you but would you mind telling me where the nearest
cafe is?' So context is really important when thinking about how to be polite. Ok, let's
look at another example, refusing an invitation. So you invite me to the cinema. So you say
to me 'Tom would you like to go to the cinema tonight?' Now in a rude response I would say
'No!' Ok, that's really rude I would never say that to anyone. Now it's very direct,
if I wanted to be more polite I would use more words. 'No thanks, I'm busy' Again 'No
thanks, I'm busy' It's politer but it's still maybe not as polite as I would like, still
too direct. So I would use a phrase like 'I'd love to but unfortunately I've got plans tonight.'
Ok, so we've gone from no to refuse an invitation, direct, very rude to 'I'd love to but unfortunately
I've got plans tonight'. Much longer, less direct and much more polite. Alright let's
think of another example, another context. What if you don't understand what someone
has said. So they go, and you go 'What?' Now what, it's short direct but can be quite rude
in some situations. Again this is about context, it's about who you are with and the situation.
So with a friend that I know really well, a family member yeah I might say what? That's
possible, but if I want to be polite with someone I need more words, I need to be less
direct. So I would say 'I'm sorry, what did you say?' That's quite nice 'I'm so sorry,
I didn't hear what you said. What was that?' More words, less direct, more polite. Ok one
last context, what about if I don't agree with what you say? So you say to me 'Tom,
I think that the Samsung Galaxy is better than the iPhone' I don't agree. Now I could
say 'No! You are wrong' It's very direct, it's quite rude and it's quite short. Ok,
so how can we make that politer, well we need to add phrases, we need to make it less direct
so you say to me I think the Samsung Galaxy is better than the iPhone, I would say 'I'm
not so sure about that...' and then I would say why. So 'I'm not so sure about that..'
long, longer, more words, less direct. 'Ok, you have a point but I actually think that
the iPhone is better because' Again indirect, more words, more polite. So my secret to being
polite in English is to use more words and be indirect. Ok, the more words you use generally
speaking the less direct you are and the more polite your English is. We've looked at four
different contexts and in each one I've shown you that the more words we use, we build up
our sentences, the more polite we are. Obviously, it's important to think about context, who
you are speaking to and which words you are using, ok? Don't just use any words, use the
words that we've looked at to construct really polite sentences. If you've enjoyed this video
and found it useful please give it a thumbs up. Share it with your friends and remember
to subscribe to this channel. Thank you so much for watching, this is Tom the English
Hipster and you know what time it is, it's time to take your English to the next level.