So many women experience pain during intercourse. So many women feel pain with penetration. You
might be even feeling pain during putting inside a tampon or a menstrual cup or when there is deep
thrusting in sex or with any penetrative sex. Sadly, it's very very very common. Hi! I'm
Elisa Caro, a sex and relationship coach. And, if you would like to have a more fulfilling sex life
and really deepen the passion and the connection in your relationship. You're in the right place.
According to the American College of Obstetrician and Genecologists, 75 percent of women,
I know, it's so much, isn't it? experience pain at some point in their life during sex,
me included! I have gone through that too. Well, if you experience any pain during intercourse,
I want to tell you that most likely there is a reason for that.
And if you want to put work into it and commitment to change it, you have the power to do so.
Sometimes like medical treatments or surgeries or scarring up the pelvic floor might be the cause
for the pain during intercourse. Sometimes it could be infection, a skin disorder, other times
it might be that is a psychological reason such as disgust towards sex, fear of intimacy or like
a trauma a repercussion from a trauma or an abuse that have happened in the past and still you're
feeling the consequences right now. It could be stress that also can cause chronic tension on the
pelvic floor muscle and so that always stands and penetration doesn't feel good when they're always
tensed. And in some cases, traditional medicine is the answer and that's amazing! And sometimes, it
doesn't. Sometimes, more holistic approach, in my experience, I'm just saying in my experience with
my own self like in my life, and also with women I've been working with, I’ve had great results
such as like after surgeries or for vaginismus or when there is like a psychological issue a
bit less when there is an STI, you might just want to take something for it. But for instance
in my experience, I shared with you before how that procedure was a bit invasive for my body
but it was happening again. When I was younger, I had a polycystic ovary syndrome. I still have it
but at the beginning it was causing my period to be all over the place. And, I had like sometimes
some discomfort and one of my cysts was actually growing and I needed surgery. And what happened by
embracing my femininity by using a more holistic approach and and connecting deeper with myself,
I managed to heal that and now my period is so regular and there is no pain and no discomfort
whatsoever. And, my cyst is now under control. They are not too big at all. I just needed to
allow sexual energy to flow instead of staying stuck because I was feeling some sort of shame and
like resistance towards sexuality and at the same time desire and so there was this conflict within.
And, I needed to heal that and harmonize that for energy to flow and then... Magic happen and
everything goes into place and so it's very good if you are having any pain during intercourse to
kind of like look within and understand where it's coming from. Because the tendency is to shut down
the tendency is to feel that something is wrong with us. The tendency is to feel “Oh my god like
I'm broken.” “It's just not normal.” “Something is wrong with me” and “why am I feeling that
I had the surgery but it was a year ago while I'm still feeling this” or maybe “I was abused
but it was five years ago while still having repercussion?” Well, we need to heal those wounds,
those emotional scars, those physical scars and we need to give it time. So in a more holistic
approach, instead of like shutting down, that's the tendency right? I want it numb,
I want it shut down, I want to push it away. I criticize. I judge myself. Instead of doing that,
we want to actually give more love to those areas. We want to give more attention. We want to breathe
into them. We want to allow blood flow to go into them. So if we have a very tense pelvic floor,
we want a massage her and allow the blood to circulate the muscle to relax. And if we have a
scar saying we need like to massage it to give it love, so instead of shutting down, we should look
within and we should give it love. And when we bring breath, energy, attention and love to those
area that have the space to heal. And sometimes, we also need support on a psychological level like
on one hand we think “Oh, it's a physical issue.” But, our emotions have an impact in our sexual
satisfaction. There are many studies around that and what we feel around sexuality is actually...
has a repercussion or our sexual fulfillment and our sensitivity and our openness towards it.
And, it's almost like obvious right? If i think that my yoni is disgusting, smells bad and tastes
awful and then someone goes down on me. I'm gonna be in my head worrying about like “how they're
feeling” and I hope... and be very self-conscious instead of like relaxing and just enjoying it
rather if i think “Oh my god! This is amazing temple! And, I'm so happy that I'm having a great
time over there. And, it tastes wonderful and it smells wonderful. So, it's just like i'm just like
going to surrender and enjoy it. And, this is like a small example but it could go also more extreme.
So, things that can be done are exercises such as like breath work or jade egg or pelvic floor
massage or going and receiving a yoni massage, doing courses in order to like open yourself
up to your sexuality and welcome it instead of like fighting or feel confused about it.
And, I know it almost feel like work. And, I have to say that the payoff, It’s so amazing! While we
can go from feeling like broken, like something is wrong in us, to feeling sexually empowered
and liberated, it adds so much to our life. And, there are repercussions throughout our whole life.
Like, it doesn't end. It doesn't end with the pleasure we are feeling in the bedroom.
It actually the way you walk down the street, the way you close the deal at work,
the way you talk to your partner, if you know that you feel like more whole and more complete
because our sexuality is part of who we are. So, the relationship you have with your yoni,
with your genitals, with your sexual life, is going really to support you feeling more radiant
and liberated. And so, if you experience some discomfort, you might want to look into that. And,
really work with that so that you can feel more open. And if you would like more guidance
to embrace your sexuality, become more orgasmic, letting go of pain and numbness in your vagina,
you might want to check out the Sexual Liberated Woman Course.
It's a wonderful journey for women to really deepen the connection with their sexuality.
And, I'm gonna put the link below. And, if you are loving this video, which I'm sure you are, then I
would really appreciate if you can give a thumb up. And, if you want to be keep updated about
conscious sexuality and relating. Please subscribe to the channel, Elisa Caro. I keep posting videos
around this topic and they're going to support you feeling more sexually liberated and free.