[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: SO EXCITED!
HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE!
WHAT A GREAT SHOW WE HAVE TO
NINTH!
BUT WE ALWAYS HAVE A GREAT SHOW,
DON’T LEAVE?
AS REGULAR AS ME AFTER
REGULATINGEATINGSEVEN BRAN MUFFI
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO TAKE
GENUINE RISKS AND ERRORS OF
OTHERS WHO ONLY PRETEND.
YEAH, SHE’S A REAL
NELSON MANDELA.
MORE LIKE NELSON FROM THE
SIMPSONS.
ANYWAY, WHEN WE THINK OF RISKS,
WE THINK OF YOUNG AND YOU GUYS
TAKING CHANCES, DAREDEVIL’S,
SOLDIERS, SEALS TEAMS, SOMEONE
WHO WILL EAT A BOWL OF CHILI
BEFORE BOARDING A FIVE HOUR
FLIGHT.
THE OPPOSITE RISK, THE OLD,
RETIRED, SITTING ON THE VERANDA
SIPPING ARNOLD PALMER’S.
BUT NOW IT’S REVERSED.
THE OLD ARE THE NEW YOUNG AND
THE YOUNG ARE THE NEW OLD.
CANCEL CULTURE HAS CREATED A
BENJAMIN BUTTON EFFECT IN TERMS
OF OLDER GENERATIONS.
WE ARE TAKING MORE RISKS AND
THAT’S THE YOUNGER ONES WHO
AREN’T.
HERE’S JOHN CLEESE TALKING ABOUT
HUMOR IN RISK-TAKING.
>> LOVE COMEDIANS NOW.
WHEN THEY THINK OF SOMETHING,
CAN I GET AWAY WITH THAT?
I DON’T THINK SO.
HE SAID THAT, SHE SAID THAT.
THAT’S THE DEATH OF CREATIVITY.
YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT OFFENDING
PEOPLE.
YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE VERY
CREATIVE.
I THICK IT HAS A DISASTROUS
EFFECT.
>> Greg: MONTY PYTHON.
INDEED, THE OLDER GUYS BATTLING
THE SAFE SPACERS WHETHER IT’S JOHN CLEESE, RICHARD YOUR RICKY
, YOU SEE J.K. ROWLING, JOHN
WATERS, THESE ARE ALL PEOPLE
TAKING ACTUAL RISKS AGAINST THE
GROUP SPEAK OF WOKEISM.
ONE OTHER GUY LEADING THE PACK AND WHO COULD THAT BE?
AND WHO COULD THAT BE? ♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I HATE IT WHEN THE PRODUCERS
FLIP THAT IN.
GUYS, REALLY?
STOP IT!
THESE OLD PARTS ARE STANDING UP
TO THE MOB JUST LIKE
FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER INSTEAD
OF BASIC PITCHFORKS, IT
SMARTPHONES.
IT’S NOT THE YOUNG, IT’S THE
OLD.
IT MAY BE IT’S BECAUSE WISDOM OR
ITS RELIEF FACTOR.
I PREFER TO CALL UP BALLS.
MEANWHILE, THE YOUNG WHO MUST
HAVE EVERY WOMEN CATER TO THEM
LIKE A BRIDE ON THEIR WEDDING
DAY.
LAST NIGHT IN MINNEAPOLIS A CLUB
CALLED FIRST AVENUE CANCELED A
SHOW BY DAVE CHAPPELLE CITING
PUBLIC OUTCRY.
THEY GOT A SILLY LETTER FROM
PURPLE HAIRED NORM WITH A BMI OF
158.
THE CLUB CAVED TO THE MOST LOW
RISK NONSENSE, A Change.org
PETITION DEMANDING NOT TO
PLATFORM TRANSFER OLD
DAVE CHAPPELLE, THE PETITION
READS DAVE CHAPPELLE HAS A
RECORD OF BEING DANGEROUS TO
TRANS PEOPLE.
FIRST AVENUE HAS AN OBLIGATION
TO PROTECT THE COMMUNITY.
DIRECTLY VIA FILING FIRST AVENUE
CODE OF CONTACT.
IF IT WAS MORE FULL OF, WOULD BE
THE FLOOR BACK STAGE OF THE
WESTMINSTER’S KENNEL CLUB.
DOES DAVE CHAPPELLE HAVE A
RECORD OF BEING DANGEROUS TO
TRANS PEOPLE?
THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT LIKE THEY
FOUND CAITLYN JENNER’S BONES IN
A CRAWL SPACE UNDER HIS HOUSE.
BY DAVE CHAPPELLE’S BEING
DANGEROUS AND HE SPEAKS HIS
MIND.
THAT’S REAL RISK THESE DAYS IN
THE FACE OF THE FACELESS MOB.
HE’S THE DAREDEVIL AND LIKE
ANYBODY WHO SIGNS THE PETITION.
MEANWHILE, THE MAN WHO TRIED TO
MURDER IN L.A. WAS CHARGED WITH
MISDEMEANORS.
WHEN YOU THINK MEN COULD GIVE
BIRTH, THEN EVERYTHING IS
BACKWARDS.
SO THE DELICATE DAFFODILS CLAIM
THEY MUST BE PROTECTED,
IMITATING REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL
RISK LIKE AOC AND HER INVISIBLE
HAND CUFFS.
WHY NOT SKIP THE SHOW?
HOW HARD IS THAT?
THE ONLY DANGER THEY FACE IF
THEY WENT IS THAT THERE’S NOT
ENOUGH ROOM FOR THE EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT DOGS.
LET’S BE FRANK.
SIMPLY CLAIMING YOUR TRANS OR
NONBINARY IS NOT RISKY.
IT’S NOT ILLEGAL, THAT’S FOR
SURE.
YOU DOUBLED THE MOVIE ROLES AND
DOUBLED THE BATHROOMS.
THE MEDIA BRACES YOU LIKE THE
NEW FLAVOR OF THE INTERSEXUAL
ICE CREAM.
IN THE OLD DAYS, YOUNG PEOPLE
DID RISKY THINGS.
NOW THEY JUST WRITE PETITIONS,
THROW PUBLIC TANTRUMS, PICK A
PRONOUN FOR THEIR TWITTER
BRIDLE.
THEIR ONLY STRONG IN A LARGE
GROUP WEARING A MASK CARRYING A
BIKE LOCK.
BUT THAT PETITION WORKS.
IT GOT DAVE CHAPPELLE BOOTED
BEER TO FIRST AVENUE STATES WE
BELIEVE IN THAT DIVERSE VOICES
IN THE FREEDOM OF ARTISTIC
EXPRESSION, BUT IT’S HONORING
THAT.
WE LOST SIGHT OF THE IMPACT IT
WOULD HAVE.
WE KNOW THERE ARE SOME WHO WILL
NOT AGREE WITH THIS DECISION.
YOU’RE WELCOME TO SEND FEEDBACK.
HERE ARE SOME FEEDBACK, I HOPE
YOUR CLUB GOES UNDER LIKE ONE OF
TED KENNEDY STATES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, YOU BELIEVE IN THE FREEDOM
OF EXPRESSION ONLY OF A OSWALD
PLAY THAT PUTS EVERYBODY TO
SLEEP.
THAT’S MY THEORY, OLD PEOPLE
HAVE NOW BECOME THE YOUNG PEOPLE
AND YOUNG PEOPLE TO OLD.
THIS FEELS LIKE THE RIGHT TIME
FOR A SKIT.
>> HEY, GRANDMA, JUST CALLING TO
MAKE SURE YOU’RE STAYING INSIDE
AND -- GETTING JUST IN CASE.
>> DON’T BE SUCH A [BLEEP].
I CAN’T RIP THE SHOTS OF TEQUILA
WITH MASKS ON.
>> PLUS DRINKING TEQUILA IS
CULTURAL APPROPRIATION.
WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAY INSIDE,
EAT SOME SOUP, WATCH JEOPARDY
LIKE WE ARE?
>> OKAY, BOOMER.
WHY NOT SAVE US A TABLE AT THE
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL.
GRANDMA AND I HAVE TO GO, IT’S
HOT GIRL’S NUMBER AND I’M TAKING
PICTURES FOR HER ONLY FANS.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: AS A YOUNG PREFER
SECURITY, THE OLD ARE OUT TAKING
RISKS.
THEY’RE HAVING FUN COMMENCING
WHAT THEY WANT.
LARRY KUDLOW ASKED ME TO GO HANG
GLIDING.
IN THE.
NOT AGAIN.
NOW MAY BE THE OLD HAVE LEFT TO
LOSE HER A LOT MORE MONEY BUT
MAY BE IT’S HARD TO BE AFRAID OF
A GUY WITH A [BLEEP].
THE YOUNG PEOPLE DEMAND SAFETY
AND CONFORMITY.
REMEMBER THIS FAMOUS PICTURE?
WHITE BLM PROTESTERS SURMOUNTING
A WOMAN AT BRANCH DEMANDING SHE
RAISED HER FIST.
THAT SAYS PERFORMANCE AND RISK
FREE IT GETS.
THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO
EMBRACE THE OPPOSITE OF RISK
WHICH IS MIGHT MAKES RIGHT.
WHY DID THEY JOIN THE MOB?
MAYBE THEY’RE SCARED OF THE MOB
TURNING ON THEM OR THEY ARE
DOING WHAT THEY THINK IS POPULAR
LIKE EVERYBODY WHO PRETENDS TO
LIKE NPR.
OR MAYBE THEY LIKE THE POWER AND
ATTENTION.
IF OR MAYBE THEY SUCK.
IN THE OLD DAYS, THOSE WHO CAN’T
DO, TEACH.
THOSE WHO CAN’T DO, CANCEL WHO
CAN.
IT’S OBVIOUS HOW THEY NEVER MAKE
THE PUBLIC DEMANDS ONE ON ONE.
IT SAFETY IN NUMBERS AND EVEN IF
THE NUMBERS ARE A BUNCH OF ZEROS
ZEROS.
LET’S WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUESTS!
SHE’LL LEAVE HER CASE IN THE CAR
FOR A GLASS OF PINOT NOIR.
FOX NEWS ANCHOR, JULIE BANDERAS!
HIS NAME IS KASH BECAUSE HE’S
ALWAYS ON THE MONEY!
FORMER WHITE HOUSE SECURITY AIDE
KASH PATEL!
HE LEAVES WOMAN IN STITCHES
BECAUSE HIS JOKES MAKE WOMAN/THEIR WRISTS
SEEMS LIKE A STICK, SKINNY,
SHARP, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR
KAT TIMPF!
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU IN ONE PIECE.
NOT SURE WHERE YOU ARE.
>> SHE WAS WELCOME TO STAY.
>> NEVER MADE IT BACK TO THE
HOTEL.
>> Greg: WHILE YOU’RE GOING ON
THE DRUNKEN BINGES.
YOU’RE ALSO RAISING YOUNG
PEOPLE.
THAT MAKES YOU A HERO.
ARE YOU RAISING THEM TO TAKE
RISKS?
>> A LITTLE BIT, BUT I’M NOT
RAISING LIKE WHINY WOKE BRATS.
THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO SAY.
IT’S REGARDLESS TO SAY, 150,000
TICKETS IN FACT, 1500 PEOPLE
BOUGHT TICKETS, 150.
YOU’VE GOT 1% WHO CARED ABOUT
THIS AND THAT’S YOUR WAY OF
DOING IT.
INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING DON’T GO
OR MAYBE SHOW UP, CATECHOL, THE
LAST TIME SOMEBODY STORMED THE
STAGE AT THE DAVE CHAPPELLE SHOW
THAT WENT WELL.
WHEN’S YOUR NEXT SHOW?
>> YOU JUST TOLD PEOPLE TO RUN
UP ON STAGE.
>> Greg: THE PEOPLE THAT
SIGNED THE PETITION THEY WEREN’T
BUYING TICKETS.
THE STORY IS THE CLUB IS
COWARDLY.
WHAT A BUNCH OF LOSERS.
[APPLAUSE]
I LIKE APPLAUSE BECAUSE IT EATS
INTO KAT’S TIME.
SORRY.
KASH.
WHEN DID YOU SAY OH, NO, OH
FOUR?
>> NO.
I FEEL LIKE I’VE GOT NOTHING TO
ADD TO THE DAVE CHAPPELLE
CONVERSATION.
>> I KIND OF LOST RESPECT FOR
HIM WHEN MAYOR BOWSER INVITED
HIM OUT FOR THE BIRTHDAY PARTY
AND MAYOR BOWSER AT THE TIME
MADE EVERYONE WEAR MASKS WRITING
THE NEXT MORNING.
AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE WHAT THE
HECK?
NOW PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT
THEIR SHOW GETTING CANCELED AND
I DON’T GIVE A [BLEEP].
LIKE I DON’T CARE, JUST STAND UP
OUTSIDE AND DO IT.
>> Greg: YOU’RE MAD AT HIM
BECAUSE HE WORE A MASK IN D.C.
>> BECAUSE I WASN’T ALLOWED.
>> Greg: WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT
MY THEORY THAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE
NOW OLD PEOPLE AND OLD PEOPLE
ARE YOUNG PEOPLE?
>> WHAT ARE LIKE MIDDLE PEOPLE?
>> Greg: THANK YOU.
I THINK OLD BY COMPARISON, I’M
IN MY EARLY 40s.
>> THE GOOD THING ABOUT ME,
THANKFULLY I HAVE MY MOTHER’S
GENETICS SO I’M JUST GOING TO
STAY YOUNG BUT YOU CALL ME OLD.
I DON’T KNOW, ARE WE GOING TO
FIGHT NOW?
I’M GOING TO BRING HER IN.
>> Greg: THE KIDS ALWAYS SAID
I KNOW KARATE.
KARATE NEVER WORKS, JOE, YOU
ALWAYS GOT YOUR -- -- KICKED.
YOU CLAIMED TO BE A COMEDIAN AND
WE HAVE SEEN SOME EVIDENCE.
FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON THE
CHAPPELLE THING.
YOU CAN TRASH THIS WHOLE THING
LIKE KASH PATEL JUST DID.
>> I’VE HAD VENUES THAT CANCELED
SHOWS OF MINE BUT IT WAS DUE TO
LOW TICKET SALES.
I WASN’T ABLE TO MOVE IT TO THE
PARKING LOT WHERE WE HAD A GOOD
TIME AND I ENJOYED THE TIPS OF
VALIDATING PEOPLES PARKING.
YOU MADE A GOOD POINT THAT IT
WAS 160 OR SO PEOPLE.
IT’S AN ONLINE PETITION.
YOU CAN’T EVEN CRUMPLE IT UP.
THESE VENUES, I THINK THEY COULD
SPARE THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF
GROVELING OF -- I DIDN’T CAUSE
ANYBODY HARM.
YOU WANT TO PASS OFF A BUNCH OF
CRYBABIES WHO HAVE A TREMENDOUS
EGOS BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T WANT
TO GO TO THE SHOW, IT’S VERY
SIMPLE.
DON’T GO.
IT’S NOT ENOUGH, THEY WANT TO
MAKE IT SO NO ONE ELSE CAN GO.
COMEDY IS SUPPOSED TO BE
UPSETTING AND DISTURBING.
IT’S SUPPOSED OF VIOLATING YOUR
EXPECTATIONS AND THAT’S WHAT
MAKES PEOPLE LAUGH.
FUNNIEST COMICS LIKE TIM DILLON,
KYLE DUNNIGAN, THEY ARE REALLY
FUNNY AND THEY SAY THINGS
SOMETIMES YOU LEFT BECAUSE YOU
JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
>> Greg: I SAID THIS THAT IT’S
A COMPLIMENT WHEN YOU’RE FINALLY
BEING ROASTED.
YOU’RE NOW ACCEPTED AS PART OF
SOCIETY BUT BEFORE I GO TO KAT,
WHY CAN’T A CLUB EAT THE COST OF
THIS?
ISN’T THERE A CONTRACT INVOLVED?
>> I THINK THE COST IS AN
EMOTIONAL COST FOR THE CLUB THAT
THEY HAVE INVESTED IN BEING --
THE IDEA --
>> Greg: IF YOU HAVE A
CONTRACT.
I’M GOING TO SPEAK IN FLORIDA
THIS WEEKEND AND SO I’M GOING TO
KEEP THE MONEY.
LIKE THAT SHOULD BE THE DEAL.
IF YOU CANCEL ME, I’M GOING TO
KEEP THE MONEY.
>> I DO.
>> IT’S NOT LIKE WATER MAIN
BROKE.
THERE IS NO ACT OF CLAUSE IF
YOU’RE A [BLEEP] YOU DON’T HAVE
TO PAY.
>> Greg: KAT, WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING
ME.
>> Greg: EXCELLENT ACTING
PLAYING BOTH THE OLD AND YOUNG
WOMAN IN THE SAME SKIT.
>> THANK YOU, I’M VERY TALENTED.
>> Greg: YOU ARE EXTREMELY
TALENTED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT
THEORY, DO YOU BELIEVE IT OR
WOULD YOU RATHER UNDRESS THE
CHAPPELLE STORY?
>> THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A
CHOICE.
>> Greg: I’M PRO-CHOICE.
>> SOMETHING TO WAIT, I THINK
THERE’S SOMETHING TO IT AND I
JUST THINK THE REALITY IS ALL OF
IT THAT THERE’S NO SUCH THING
THAT IT’S NOT POSSIBLE.
FOR THESE 150 PEOPLE, APPARENTLY
A SAFE SPACE THIS ONE WITHOUT
DAVE CHAPPELLE IN IT.
BUT DAVE CHAPPELLE SAFE SPACE
MAY BE ONE WHERE HE DOESN’T GET
HIS WORK CANCELED A FEW HOURS
BEFORE AND MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
EVERYTHING REALLY IS SUBJECTIVE.
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE BUT NOT GOING TO
KEEP YOURSELF IN THE COMFORTS
ALL THE THE TIME BECAUSE THEN
YOU DON’T LEARN ANYTHING NEW OR SAVE THE MIKE ROWE
MIKE OR GRO AS A PERSON.
>> Greg: IF YOU CREATE SAFE