- I'm an artist,
which also means
I'm a creator since I create things.
A storyteller, since I have stories to tell.
A visionary, I write about where I've been.
These poems act as self-help,
I'm a healer.
Not always for myself,
but one time a kid told me he almost killed himself,
but he heard one of my poems, and decided to keep living.
From that day forward, I was like,
"Today is a good day to keep someone alive."
People ask me
how I did it or how they should do it,
and I'm not sure if they're asking me
about the kid or themselves.
What I've come to learn is
can't nobody tell when I'm not doin' well, but me.
I get to travel across the country and do poems for a living
like, that's my job.
And out of 50 states, I performed in 47 of them.
I read an article
that said only 20% of people in the US
are doing what they love,
or whatever sad statistic it was.
And I was like, "My God ain't damned nothing in me.
I'm doin' exactly what I've always wanted to do,
so I must be blessed."
Must be exemplifying all this miracle,
I am stressed and winning.
I look at and update my curriculum vitae daily,
and I be like, "Damn!"
I'm surprised I even knew how to say that word.
(audience laughing sporadically)
Ain't nobody wish nothin' bad on me, but me.
Like everything I ever wanted
I manifesting at the end of each meditation,
I asked the universe to make me undeniably enough.
And people be mad happy when I show up.
One time, I performed for 200,000 people
and I didn't throw up,
it was so cool and exhausting.
Did you know?
I could touch what feels like a million people's energy,
and help them feel seen,
but go back to my hotel room
feeling so fulfilled, yet lonely.
Yeah, it's amazing.
Another time I thought I was gonna marry this guy
I had been with for like, six years out of my life,
but he said he hated my lifestyle.
Even though this is my life's work
because my work means I'm never home.
But every time I came back, he was gone.
As an emotionally unavailable, mentally abusive,
I have extreme PTSD from that unhealthy relationship.
But someone asked me to do that one poem
about that one time where he was mine.
May you find a lover that helps you love yourself,
may you find a lover
that doesn't require you to give more to them
than you have to give to yourself.
Did I mention,
I paid off my student loans with poetry?
(audience cheering and applauding)
Can't nobody tell me I'm not the shit, but me.
I get so sad sometimes,
I think I'm losing my mind,
and I must be since I enrolled in graduate school
this past May.
I guess I returned to my oppressor,
I am whoever the fuck I think I am.
But I wish being a good person paid more.
I heard, I heard it's the wounds people can't see
that hurt the most.
But I've seen...
I've seen sunsets
that look like somewhere tomorrow my heart is on fire,
so I'm chasing the day.
At night, I don't sleep, I grind.
I've been in my prime like, nine times.
I got so much love I give and keep giving,
I have so much advice that are really opinions.
Or maybe they're just hard facts
I haven't hardly learned yet.
Did you know
that people ask me how I'm doing
by also commenting on my weight?
(audience moans)
And here I am.
Some foolish somebody
that didn't hate the way they looked today.
But you right, girl,
must be the depression.
But I'm the kind of giant
that's been through what I've been through,
and you can still depend on.
I gave all that I had,
and you ain't never known a black woman who ain't did that.
My friends call on me when they're down and out,
or just in need.
And what good is a God that can't speak life into somebody?
Check on your strong friends,
check on your strong friends,
check on your strong friends.
(audience applauding)
Don't believe us,
I promise we're pretending.
Have you ever,
have you ever tried to tell someone you're not okay
and they're like, "You got this!"
And you're like, "But I don't."
They're like, "You're good."
And you're like, "But I'm not."
And they're like, "Keep going!"
And you're like,
"Okay.
(stifles tears)
Thanks.
You're right."
I could do this with my eyes closed.
I get so overwhelmed
that I'm drowning and screaming,
but everybody thought I was smiling and swimming.
I died in that dream.
And then I woke up on an airplane,
flying to different country to do poetry.
And I thought, "My God ain't damned nothing in me.
I'm doin' exactly what I've always wanted to do.
I'm so blessed, I'm so blessed.
I'm so blessed that my life is crazy."
My heart is racing.
I'm probably dehydrated,
traveling does awful things to the body.
But the one thing I can tell you about being successful
is that you have to love what you're doing.
Can't nobody steal my joy.
Can't nobody steal my joy,
not even myself.
I heard or someone said,
"If your path is more difficult,
it's because your calling is higher." (chuckles)
So I say, "I'll be hero and legend."
Nobody built like me, I designed myself.
But every time I climb,
my community get clotheslined.
D Infinity define, cheers to the most high.
I just pray I leave something good behind.
My name is Ebony Stewart,
thank you so much.
(audience cheering and applauding)