that's it I thought you might want your
speech it's too late I know do you want
your speech Nancy uh yes okay good we'll
just be big big big quiet and let me
give it to you then ladies and gentlemen
um boys and girls and friends and
members of Nancy's family who I've never
met before this is I met a girl today
the wrong girl except she turned out to
be the right girl and this girl who took
a chance on me in the most bizarre and
romantic way possible wanted me to take
a chance on her but um I didn't you know
I didn't I blew it
like her like a stupid 40 year old
midlife-crisis that I have huh
which is why I sought help from old
Beau's yeah you not the most reliable of
sources really yeah whatever but
undeterred I commandeered these
brilliant young drunks because nothing
was gonna stop me from finding this girl
and telling her what I should have told
her earlier on Nancy I am so bloody glad
you pretended to be my date today
because if you hadn't then I never would
have heard any of your amazing sex
theories or watched you trying to get
jalapeno I have your teeth or witnessed
your very instinctive firewoman skills I
would never have got to know that muddy
beautiful triathlete face or witnessed
that awesome highly competitive ass as
you're about to get another strike in
fact if you hadn't pretended to be my
date today my day would have been
utterly
and so quite possibly would have been
the rest of my life don't make those
noises I'm round head Nancy you said I
was an emotional jigsaw and I should
look for the blue bits I think you might
be the blue bits Nancy so what do you
say quid pro quo
what does it say in six billion people
in you oh yeah sorry the past
you