A truly fearless man
is amused,
calm, curious,
not cruel
when a woman tests him.
Really is that true?
Let's find out.
Welcome to just the tip Tuesday.
In my recent video,
you found out
why even the good women
test you or evaluate you
and why it's actually a good thing.
Whether a woman consciously
or subconsciously tests you
or evaluates you
you're going to handle it
the same way.
You stay grounded
and in your frame as a man.
Nothing and no one
pushes you off balance.
You actually do this for you
but as a side effect,
she feels more safe with you.
A woman won't stay with a man
unless she feels emotionally
and physically safe with him
unless she's emotionally damaged.
Do you want an emotionally damaged woman
as a life partner?
Probably not.
So, if you have found a good one
and she does test you
or evaluate you
you don't punish her
or treat her poorly.
Wait what, she's testing you
and you're not supposed to punish?
Mhm.
Relationships require give and take
and yes, sometimes compromise.
If you're not up for that
then yeah, you might be one of those guys that
needs to stay single.
Or if you're a woman watching this
you might need to stay single
if you're not willing to compromise.
But as a man
you're going to compromise within your frame.
What do I mean by this?
Compromising doesn't mean
ditching your friends for her
when you've made a commitment to them.
Instead, it might look like
telling Ashley because she wanted to go with you
or she wanted you to
spend the evening with her instead.
Like I mentioned in my other video
as an example.
You might tell her
no, I’m going out with the boys as I'd planned,
but how about
we go for brunch tomorrow
so I can brag about my winnings.
Or how about we invite the boys
over next weekend
so you can meet them
and know that they're not going to try
and get me to do things I shouldn't be doing
or sabotage our relationship
or get me in trouble?
Now, when are you supposed to be
playful and tease her?
And when are you supposed to be more serious?
Well, you always start with assuming
that it's not a big deal.
So, you might start
by ignoring her test.
And then if she brings it up again
or brings it up in some other subtle way
then you tease her playfully about it
because it still might not be something that
she's really serious about.
She might just be venting
or having a bad day or
projecting something that's got nothing to do with you.
She might say something like
you guys are going to the bar
to pick up chicks aren't you?
Now whether she says it's serious or playfully
if she says something like that
that is a worry for her.
Maybe she's had some bad experiences in the past
but if she's a good woman
she's a keeper
because no one's perfect.
You don't ditch and run right away
but you also never lose your cool.
Let's say in this example,
John is going out with his buddies on Friday night
and doesn't know that Ashley's
had some bad experiences
in the past with guys who've cheated on her.
So, he has no idea
that she has loyalty concerns.
So, he might start off
by saying something like
unless you can drive the getaway car
it's not a good idea you join us.
Let's assumes John is not really
going to be robbing anything
don't be a criminal.
But it's a playful way to brush off
that evaluation or test or comment by Ashley.
Now, if she doesn't laugh
or she persists in asking to join them
or asking way too many questions
then he's going to know
that maybe it's a little bit more serious
for her.
So, he might say
you know I’m committed to boys night
but don't worry there's no crazy
shenanigans you need to worry about.
Key point,
if she's really got a lot of trust issues
or insecurities
she may still feel upset
and it's okay to have feelings.
It's what you do with those feelings
that determine whether or not
the relationship has potential
to evolve and be healthy.
So, it's about how she expresses those feelings,
about how you express those feelings.
And both of you are going to falter
somewhere along the way
because of some of the baggage
that you bring to the relationship.
But overall key point,
she's going to trust you more
if you stick to your beliefs
and your values and your commitments
even if, especially if
it doesn't immediately benefit her.
If she's emotionally healthy
because then she will know
that she can count on you in the future
or she will believe
that she can count on you in the future.
Your word is your bond
again, you want to respond
don't react.
Whenever you react you lose your power,
you lose your cool,
and you can't think straight anyways.
Women feel safe
with men who can manage
their emotions.
That doesn't mean you don't have them
but it means you can keep yourself under control.
Don't let them get under your skin,
never let them see a sweat.
At the same time,
you don't want to become indifferent to her.
Indifference shows you don't care
and that will make her trust you even less
and probably test you even more.
So, you want to care but not too much
not at the expense of yourself,
not at the expense of your values, beliefs,
commitments, and standards.
You have to always be willing to walk away
from the deal if the deal turns out to be a
not good deal.
If you're able to feel that way
she'll feel it from you.
Now, if you want more real life examples
of why she tests you,
her examples of how she tests you,
and more specific examples
of how to respond to those tests
you want to watch my video
and or
watch a whole bunch of them in my
when to test playlist.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
(Music)