Well, it makes complete sense to me why you've been feeling down.
You have no direction in life.
My boyfriend just left me.
Yeah. And you've gone into a tailspin.
No direction in life.
I was really just hoping for some empathy.
Well, empathy isn't what makes us succeed in life, Margaret.
I was thinking, could I maybe give you a call this weekend?
Yeah! You can absolutely call me on the weekend.
I'm always here for you.
Can I call Saturday morning?
Oh... I do have a dentist appointment on Saturday morning.
But you know what? I can cancel it. It's fine. You can call me.
Okay, so...
Lay it on me.
Lately, I've been feeling like everyone that I meet hates me.
Well, that's wrong.
Thanks.
That would presume that you've made a significant impression on the life...
of every single person that you've met.
Which is impossible.
But...
Sometimes, it feels that way.
Well, then the problem it's not with them, it's with you.
That's why I'm here.
Yeah. Well... Good.
So... I've been feeling guilty about how I left things with my mother.
I've had a few missed calls from her.
Did you call her back?
Nah.
Of course.
Well, maybe you should call her back.
Well...
I just have a fear of speaking to her.
Yeah, that's hard.
But, you know...
Maybe given that you feel guilty about it, you should call her and apologize.
That's gonna be really hard for me to do.
I understand.
But...
Do it.
So I figured it was time to make amends, so I decided to go and see her on Tuesday.
Which I did. Anyway... So I arrived at a house-
Sorry to interrupt. Could I just clarify something?
Yeah, sure.
You couldn't have seen her on Tuesday...
because early in the story you mentioned that you went to your mechanic on Tuesday.
Oh, right. Well... Maybe it was Wednesday.
- Anyway... - No, sorry. Hang on.
It couldn't have been Wednesday...
because you said that you were out of town from Wednesday to Friday.
Oh, that's right.
Well, maybe I saw her on Tuesday night.
Anyway... So-
"Maybe you saw her on Tuesday night."
There's a huge difference between the presence and absence of daylight.
It's not exactly a detail that one just forgets.
Does it really matter?
Yes! There are several important factors that stem from the time of day:
energy levels, appetite, clothing attire, ambiance...
I didn't notice any of that.
Well, I guess this isn't a very compatible match then.
And then on Thursday, I had the same dream.
Only this time, the tiles were gray in the museum instead of yellow.
And instead of the flower markets,
there were crowds of faceless people talking over each other.
But I don't even know how they were talking over each other,
because they didn't have mouths.
And then on Friday, I stayed up anyway, even though I didn't dream,
because I wanted to think about the nature of dreams,
and I wanted to formulate the ideas that I've just shared with you.
What do you think?
Yes.
And so that's why I don't eat apples anymore.
Sorry, where was I going with this?
We were talking about me and my fear of abandonment.
Oh, right.
Go on.
Anyway...
So I went to my friend's board game night, and I walked in the room,
and I realized that there wasn't a chair set out for me.
So... I went and put my dessert on the table,
and then I just sort of stood there awkwardly...
because one of-
Isn't it funny that people place so much emphasis on externals, like...
If it were me, I know for a fact that I would miscount the number...
of chairs that needed to be set up.
In fact, one time I was at home, and I forgot that I'd invited anyone over.
So when people walked in, there were no chairs set up.
In fact, another time, I worked at a chair shop...
and forgot to set the chairs up.
So what happens in these moments is that the body goes into what's known...
as "fight-or-flight mode",
which means that stress hormones shoot up and down the body...
because of what the brain perceives to be a threat,
even if there isn't one there.
Now what's fascinating is that in these moments...
the brain's ability to rationalize completely shuts down.
Sorry, you've lost me.
I don't really understand that stuff.
Can we just talk more about how much I love my cat?
Get out of my office.
Fascinating.
So would you say that your fear of judgment from others has...
Made you lose sight of what's important to you?
Yeah, probably.
Interesting.
I think we've run over time.
Oh no, please. I've already had to postpone...
three people today because I've run overtime.
Oh!
I must say, I've learned a lot about myself from our discussions, Jill.
I think I need to face some harsh realities about myself.
Is that right?
Yeah, like...
I'll tell you a quick story...
When I was in the third grade, I...
I stepped on a bird.
Yes...
A bird.
And it was a life-altering experience for a few reasons...
And so now I can't be in the same room with her,
because I feel like she hates me.
Yeah, look...
It's pretty rough.
Look, I don't have a direct solution for what you're going through,
but I have psychoanalyzed you,
and I'm going to tell you why everything that you've just told me...
is based on subjective feelings and not consistent with the actual truth.
But why does the truth matter when it's my feelings that are real?
Because...
Truth.
But...
My feelings are important.
Yeah, see... So...
In psychology we have a word for that.
It's called "denial".
So I was thinking about your situation a lot over the weekend,
and I just want to say that I'm really proud of you for quitting that job.
It takes a lot of courage to stick to your ethical principles...
and choose the moral high ground.
Oh... Well, actually... I stayed at the job.
Oh.
And I took the promotion.
Oh...
That's fine.
Are you okay?
Yeah. No. I'm fine.
Look, it seems to me that a lot of your problems would naturally fix themselves...
if you just organized your life a little better.
Your bedtimes are all over the place, your diet is ludicrous...
and you spend all day in bed watching...
What was it? Someone flicking a net?
Netflix.
Yeah, that.
Waste of time.
She doesn't invite me to anything,
and she doesn't even remember my name most of the time,
and then there was the issue with the tiger, and...
It's just... It's so messy.
Anyway...
Thank you!
You're such a good listener.
In every grain of sand...
There is a story of the Earth.
Yeah.
Thank you so much!
I'll see you next week.
I can't do another one.
So then the clown appeared, and for some reason,
I just... burst into tears.
Let's...
Unpack that.
My child.
The lark sings and the skunk smells, but they both look the same in the dark.
So...
Did you work on the list that we wrote together last session?
Yeah, a little bit.
Great!
Did you find it to be fruitful?
Yeah, somewhat.
Wonderful.
And did you write a list of your future goals like we talked about?
Yes. I did.
And was that helpful?
Yep.
Fantastic.
So in what ways did you find that activity to be helpful?
Let's write a list.
You know, and everywhere I go there's just this unbelievable amount of self-doubt.
It's like, I go to university: self-doubt. I go to work: self-doubt.
I go to the grocery store: self-doubt.
And then I just feel overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, and like...
Self-doubt.
What do you think?
Those certainly are feelings.
Thank goodness. It was just a nightmare.