- Do you sometimes feel anxious
when you're in social situations?
Do you ever feel like people are judging you,
or are not connecting to you?
You see, after COVID, so many of us have got social anxiety,
we don't know how to be with people anymore.
And if you feel like that, you're not alone.
Many people are experiencing social anxiety.
So, keep watching, and I'm going to teach you my steps
for overcoming social anxiety
and gaining ultimate confidence.
So, what is social anxiety?
Well, it's kind of when you are anxious
in a social situation,
and it's mostly caused by the fear of judgment.
The fear that, "I'm going to say something stupid, do something stupid.
"I don't want to walk into a room in case I stumble."
You know, most of our fears
are actually the fear of being judged.
The fear of public speaking
is nothing more than a fear of being judged,
which, in turn, is actually a fear of being rejected.
If you unpick social anxiety,
it's nothing more than a fear
that, "I could be rejected." But here's the truth.
Nobody can reject you.
No one can reject you, unless you give them your consent.
And you know what?
You never have to do that.
But what are the signs of social anxiety?
Well, feeling anxious in social situations
is kind of obvious.
Fear of negative social judgment.
"Somebody was laughing at what I'm wearing,
"what I'm saying."
Feeling embarrassed, avoiding social situations,
feeling sad, feeling like people are judging you unfavorably.
But there is a way to get over all of that.
So, how do you overcome social anxiety
and unlock unshakeable ultimate confidence?
Well, first of all, number one,
remove your assumptions that people are judging you.
Let's imagine you're doing an exercise class.
You know, when I'm doing yoga or Pilates,
I don't look around and go, "Oh,
"they can't balance on one leg like me."
I'm so busy trying to do it myself
I'm not looking.
I know most yoga studios do not have mirrors
because it's not a competition.
You've heard that expression,
"Dance like nobody's looking."
When you're dancing, it doesn't matter what you look like.
It matters that you're having fun,
and most people are too busy judging themselves.
They haven't got the time or the energy to judge you,
and if they are doing that, then they're not happy people.
You know, the people that matter don't care
if you can't dance,
and the people that care about that don't matter.
Understand why some people are critical.
And here's the truth.
Critical people, I promise you, have the most criticism
reserved for themselves,
and they express outwards their own dissatisfaction.
When you're dealing with a critic, here's the magic word,
"Oh, you're an unhappy person.
"I just read that critical people are unhappy with themselves
"and express outwards their own dissatisfaction."
I promise you, that is the truth.
A miserable person wants you to be miserable,
then they feel kind of equal to you.
So understand, critical people are sad.
Nobody wakes up and goes, "My life's amazing.
"Who can I troll today?
"My life's so good,
"let me go to work and diminish someone.
"My life's so great, I think I'll bully someone."
Happy people praise,
unhappy people criticize.
Not all the time.
Some happy people are critical occasionally
because they're having a bad day,
but it's not about you.
Do not let in destructive criticism.
That one step can change your entire life.
Don't let other people's negative words in.
You see, you have a choice, and your choice is,
"I'm not going to let that in."
So when someone is being critical, remember,
"I can let that in.
"I cannot let it in.
"I can let it go right over my head."
You know, I do lots of YouTubes.
I get lovely comments.
I get some mean, horrible, unkind ones.
I go, "Well, that's okay.
"They don't know me
"and I don't have to let that in."
Stop seeking acceptance from other people.
The only person's opinion that really,
really matters is yours.
Your opinion of you is the most important opinion.
What you think of you.
Your opinion of you is more important.
Get a good opinion of who you are,
why you're here,
what makes your heart sing,
and don't let anyone else diminish you.
Someone said to me, "I hate your book."
"In fact, I read a review last week for my book,
it said, "There's nothing new in this book."
I think they said, "It's old wine in a new bottle."
And I know that isn't true.
My book's amazing.
I can say it.
I spent years writing it.
It's incredible.
And I thought, "Oh, well, they haven't read it.
"Maybe they have and they hate it,
"but I don't have to let that in."
I can praise myself.
If someone says, "I hate that book,
"I hate that Marisa Peer,"
I go, "Well, that's a shame, but is that going to affect my day?
"I have people that love me.
"I like my book."
I praise myself.
You can praise yourself so when anyone else
criticizes you, you don't have to let in,
unless it's about things like,
"Listen, you're always late.
"It would be really great
"if you could get here on time".
That's not destructive criticism.
That's constructive criticism.
No one can pull you down unless you give them your consent
and you never, ever, ever have to give them your consent.
Be very mindful of how you talk to yourself.
Do you say things like,
"I'm just a waste of space.
"I'm a hot mess.
"I'm a train wreck"?
Don't do that.
Become resilient.
Learn to have the bounce-back factor,
like a big, red rubber ball.
Bounce back from a disappointment.
Bounce back from adversity.
A relationship didn't work out,
a job didn't work?
Decide, "Well, something better will come along."
Do not compare yourself to other people.
You're unique.
There is no one else like you in the world
and there never will be again.
You're here for a reason and, even though you may not know it,
you have something amazing to offer the world.
Celebrate your uniqueness.
Understand that no one is perfect.
I promise you, if you could have a wish,
do not wish for perfection.
Wishing for perfection is wishing to be alone.
The basis of all friendship is we choose people who
share our vulnerabilities.
And I've worked with people who appear perfect,
who want to be perfect.
They've always been the unhappiest clients
and the loneliest, because perfection doesn't exist.
You are flawed.
I'm flawed.
That's wonderful.
It means we can have a flawed relationship
with flawed people who love us
because of our flaws. And know that you are enough.
Join the 'I Am Enough' movement.
Resonate confidence by saying, "I am enough."
You might notice I have my 'I Am Enough' bracelets on.
I have cushions and pillows and T-shirts.
I have "enough" printed on everything.
So, start to say that, stick it on your fridge,
write it on your mirrors, and begin to say, "I am enough,
"I matter, I'm significant,
"I'm lovable just the way I am,"
because, I promise you, that is the truth about you.
And these techniques may sound simple,
they are simple.
They're also powerfully life-changing.
So, if you want to overcome social anxiety
and unlock ultimate confidence
using my self-hypnosis audio,
click the link below to access it.
And don't forget to subscribe to my channel.
And, remember, you were born with confidence.
You wouldn't have cried through the night if you weren't.
And you can reactivate, re-manifest, regenerate,
and recreate your birthright confidence
and being confident in social situations.
Thanks for tuning in.
See you very soon.