Here’s a question for the men who are watching.
Suppose you’re walking down the street, and you see a beautiful woman.
What do you do?
Some of you are thinking, “Well, I’d ask for her number, or try out my awesome new pick-up line”:
“Yo baby, how you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?”
But what if you’re already married?
What do you do then?
Do you still ask for her number or use a lame pick-up line?
“All right, here I am.
What are your other two wishes?”
If so, then you’re a total dirtbag . . . unless you believe in the Quran,
which allows men to have up to four wives.
In that case, you could already be married and still approach a woman as a second,
or third, or fourth wife.
So you could ask her for her number or try out an Islamic pick-up line:
“Are you sure you’re not the prophet?
Because you robbed by heart.”
“Yo girl, you wanna share my prayer rug?”
“Girl I know you’re a Muslim, because your body is-slamin.”
“Are you sure you’re not the Shaytan?
Because you fell from Jannah.”
“Yo girl, I know I’m only allowed to marry four.
But you’re a ten.”
“I like your burqa.
I’m wondering if I could talk you out of it.”
“Girl, I need to break my fast.
Can I have a date?”
“Are you sure you’re not the Black Stone?
Because I just wanna give you a big slobbery kiss.”
But suppose you’re a Muslim, and you’ve already massively exceeded the four-wife limit.
Suppose you already have nine or eleven wives, not to mention multiple sex-slaves.
You’re walking down the street, and you see a beautiful woman.
What do you do?
Fortunately for us, the Prophet of Islam has the answer.
He always does, doesn’t he?
Sahih Muslim 3407:
It was narrated from Jabir that the Messenger of Allah saw a woman,
then he came to his wife Zainab who was tanning a leather, and fulfilled his desire,
then he went out to his Companions and said:
“A woman comes in the form of a devil and goes in the form of a devil.
If one of you sees a woman, let him go to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.”
Now, what does Muhammad mean when he says that having sex with his wife will repel
what he feels in his heart?
I think it’s obvious, but he elaborates in Sahih Muslim 3409:
Jabir said: “I heard the prophet say: ‘If one of you likes a woman and feels attracted
to her, let him go to his wife and have intercourse with her, for that will repel what is in his heart.’”
So Muhammad saw a woman, and he was attracted to her . . . sexually.
So he went to Zaynab’s house.
She was busy working, but Muhammad made her stop what she was doing
so that he could have sex with her.
Then he went and told his followers that a woman comes in the form of a devil
and goes in the form of a devil, and that if a man sees a woman and is attracted to her,
he should run home and have sex with his wife,
because that will help alleviate his sexual desire.
All right, there’s a lot to think about here.
Let me share my thoughts.
First, take a look at the chapter heading for these hadiths:
Recommendation to the One Who Sees a Woman and Is Attracted to Her,
to Go to His Wife or Slave Woman and Have Intercourse with Her.
Again, this is about Muhammad, history’s greatest moral example, being sexually aroused
by a woman and then running to Zaynab to, quote, fulfill his desire.
Notice that a man can run home either to his wife or to his slave girl.
Yes, Islam allows men to have sex slaves.
“But David, I thought that Islam abolished slavery!”
Well, Islam did abolish slavery in one particular area: Fantasy Land.
Here on Planet Reality, Muhammad and his followers bought, owned, sold, and traded slaves,
and they had sex with them.
Second, how much self-control and will power did the prophet of Islam have
if he couldn’t see a woman walking down the street without running back to Zaynab’s house and saying,
“Stop what you’re doing. There’s an emergency . . . in my thaub.
I need you to get into the bedroom, because I can’t stop thinking about this sexy woman I just saw”?
To be fair, I think that if you don’t have much self-control or will power,
and you become sexually aroused while running some errands, you should go to your wife
instead of sitting around obsessing over the woman you saw.
But think about this.
How many women do you walk by every day?
Probably a lot.
Do you have to run home every time you see a woman?
And keep in mind, Muhammad saw a woman in seventh-century Medina.
She would have been dressed pretty conservatively.
But Muhammad still couldn’t control himself.
This means, of course, that you and I and pretty much everyone we know
have far, far more self-control—sexual self-control— than the greatest man who ever lived.
Third, on this particular occasion, notice which house Muhammad went to.
He went to Zaynab to “fulfill his desire.”
Who was Zaynab?
Zaynab was the former wife of Muhammad’s adopted son Zayd.
One day when Muhammad went to visit his adopted son Zayd, he was greeted by Zayd's wife Zaynab,
who was wearing very little clothing.
What happened next?
We read in the History of at-Tabari, Volume 8, page 2:
She jumped up in haste and excited the admiration of the Messenger of God,
so that he turned away murmuring something that could scarcely be understood.
However, he did say overtly: “Glory be to God the Almighty!
Glory be to God, who causes hearts to turn.”
What do you think the narrator means when he says that Zaynab “exited the admiration”
of Muhammad?
Long story short, Muhammad’s adopted son Zayd heard that his adopted father/prophet
was lusting after his wife, so he divorced her so that Muhammad could have her.
People complained about Muhammad marrying the wife of his own adopted son,
so Muhammad abolished adoption in Islam.
What a prophet!
Putting all of this together, Muhammad saw a woman walking down the street,
and he started lusting after her, so he ran to the house of Zaynab,
a woman he married after breaking up her marriage by lusting after her.
Wow!
No wonder Allah says in Surah 33, verse 21 of the Quran that Muhammad
is a wonderful pattern of conduct.
He sure sounds like one.
Fourth, when Muhammad saw this woman walking down the street,
and he had to run to Zaynab for some relief,
he already had somewhere between nine and eleven wives, not counting his sex-slaves.
And Muslim sources report that he would have sex with all of his wives in one day.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5068:
Narrated Anas: The Prophet used to go round (have sexual relations with)
all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5215:
Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet used to pass by (have sexual relation with)
all his wives in one night, and at that time he had nine wives.
Side note: Check out the chapter heading.
“Whoever had sexual intercourse with all his wives and then took one bath only.”
Yes, history’s greatest man would have sex with nine women but would only take one bath.
Can you imagine what he would smell like when he was climbing on top of poor wife number nine?
This is Allah’s pattern of conduct.
Sahih al-Bukhari 268:
Narrated Qatada: Anas bin Malik said, “The Prophet used to visit all his wives in a round,
during the day and night and they were eleven in number.”
I asked Anas, “Had the Prophet the strength for it?”
Anas replied, “We used to say that the Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men).”
And Sa’id said on the authority of Qatada that Anas had told him about nine wives only
(not eleven).
Muhammad was having so much sex that his followers were bragging that he had the sexual strength
of thirty men.
And keep in mind, we’re ignoring the sex he had with his slave-girls.
And yet, despite being the most oversexed man in the world,
he couldn’t see a woman walking down the street without going into a sexual frenzy
and running to one of his wives.
If someone were to make an accurate film about the life of Muhammad,
it would be on a porn site.
Fifth, in Islam, women are required to cover themselves.
There’s some dispute as to whether they can leave their faces uncovered or they have
to cover their faces as well, but think about why they need to be covered.
Who founded this religion?
A man who would lose his mind when he saw a woman walking down the street.
So I ask the Muslim women who are watching: What’s the real reason you cover yourselves?
The real reason you cover yourselves is that your prophet couldn’t control himself
around women, so he demanded that women cover themselves.
Muslim women have been covering themselves for fourteen centuries
because their religion was founded by history’s greatest horndog.
Sixth, to you Christians who are watching, can you even imagine reading something like this
about Jesus, or about Peter, or about John, or about Paul?
Can you even imagine having to read about Jesus seeing a woman and then having to run
to have sex with another woman, and then saying that women are devils?
We don’t have to deal with this, because the key figures in our religion were men of integrity,
men of honor, men of self-control—not the epic pervert who stands at the center of Islam.
Thank God we don’t have to follow Muhammad.
So, those were my thoughts when I read Sahih Muslim 3407.
But over the years, I’ve learned one thing from the comments section:
Other people notice things that I don’t.
So in the comments, please share any additional insights you’ve drawn
from the hadith we started with.
As an added bonus, the Apostate Prophet and I agreed ahead of time that we would both
make videos about this hadith.
We didn’t confer on what we’d say in our videos beyond the passage we’d be discussing,
so I have no idea what he’s going to say in his video.
Let’s all click the link and find out what AP’s got to say about his former prophet
lusting after some random woman.
I hope to see you there in the comments section.