So you’re noticing a pattern.
You meet these unbelievably sexy guys you really like but there’s always something
keeping you two apart.
What’s going on?
You two are a perfect match so why won’t he stick around?
Hi ladies, I’m Amy North.
Thanks for coming to my channel.
If you’re here, you’re looking for love advice and I’m here to give it to you.
Keep watching for the inside scoop on unavailable men, what they want and how to get them to
commit.
Maybe he’s always busy with work.
Maybe he lives far away.
Maybe he’s an ex that you can’t and shouldn’t be with anymore.
Maybe he’s got a girlfriend or is even married.
Or maybe you’re always going for the emotionally unavailable guys.
They string you along.
They play games and they disappear without warning.
There are plenty of reasons that these are the types of guys you attract and are attracted
to.
I’m going to tell you why these guys keep popping up and how you can avoid getting stuck
on them in the future.
You don’t value yourself
This is similar to the reason that many women date so-called bad boys.
If you don’t like “nice guys”, it can often be because you feel like anyone who
would treat you well must not be very valuable themselves.
This can be because of low self-esteem, how we’ve been treated in the past, or any number
of factors.
So when a guy comes along who is ready and willing to be with you, it’s often like
he’s invisible.
This is a pattern that’s hard to break.
2.You’re not available
It’s easy to blame the other person and never face our own behaviour.
This way we never have to change.
But look back at the ways that men can be unavailable.
Do any of these apply to you?
Are you still hung up on an ex?
Are you working 80 hours a week?
You want a boyfriend but do you actually have room for a guy in your life?
3.You don’t know what you want
There are as many types of relationships as there are guys.
Dating a guy who wants something casual when you want marriage is just another way to date
someone emotionally unavailable.
But even worse, you might not even know what you want.
This creates tension between you two because you’re expecting him to not only fulfill
your needs, but also to figure out what your needs are.
It’s okay not to know what you’re looking for but if this is your situation then slow
down.
Stop trying to move things forward.
Maybe dating a guy who leaves the country for months at a time IS what’s right for
you.
Before you push for a commitment, make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons
and that this is something that you really want.
4.You’re scared
You’re afraid to take the relationship to the next level.
As much as you complain that you two can’t be together, there’s some part of you that
feels more comfortable this way.
If you never get to really be together, you never really have to have your heart broken
or risk anything.
This is why you’re attracted to guys who won’t give you the time of day.
It’s crazy the lengths our minds will go to protect us.
But when you realize you’re holding yourself back, you can find the strength to move forward.
5.You’re making excuses This is a pretty common one as well.
It’s possible you’re the one keeping you two apart.
If he’s married or won’t return your phone calls, then he’s obviously unavailable but
there are plenty of guys who are somewhere in the middle.
Don’t let the fact that he got out of a relationship a few months ago or the fact
that you two work in the same office be an excuse to avoid trying.
Before you give up all hope, make sure you know for sure that it can’t happen.
So you’ve figured out your problem.
Now how do you put a stop to this pattern?
Well first off, use the tools at your disposal.
The first one you should reach for is my devotion system program.
It works extremely well on unavailable guys because it was created with them in mind.
I’ll teach you what to say and what to do to fill any guy with powerful feelings of
love so he can’t even dream of leaving you again.
Go to coachnorth.com right now for my free video presentation all about how to get the
man you want and deserve.
Now let’s talk about him, whoever he happens to be.
When you meet an amazing guy, before you fall head over heels in love, stop.
Figure out what his deal is.
Get to know him a bit.
What does his life look like?
Is there room for you in it?
Do you two want the same thing?
Don’t interrogate him but ask targeted questions when you have the chance.
If your friends know him, ask them about his romantic past.
Do his relationships go down in flames?
Has he left a trail of broken hearts in his wake?
Or does he avoid serious relationships like the plague?
Next, ask yourself how you much you really know about him?
Getting in too deep with a guy you barely know is a great way to end up pining after
an unavailable man.
Part of being available is the ability to open up and be vulnerable.
Does he keep everything surface level and avoid telling you his true thoughts, and feelings?
This is a good sign that he’s emotionally unavailable.
Does he disappear suddenly and then pop up without warning?
Before you get too excited about seeing him again, figure out where he went.
Did he have a reason to drop off the face of the map or is this just another warning
sign?
Lots of unavailable guys will only see you on their terms.
This means that they pick what you do and when.
They don’t give you a lot of notice and they’re unwilling to compromise.
If you reach out to him and he blows you off but expects you to be at his beck and call,
this is a sign that he’s unavailable.
Now, there are some things that you can do to help yourself attract and be attracted
to the kind of guy who will be there for you.
As we covered, one of the big reasons women go for unavailable guys is that they don’t
value themselves.
Remember, we only accept the love we think we deserve.
So if you can build yourself up and improve your own feelings and self esteem then you’ll
notice a snowball effect.
The more you like yourself, the better guys you’ll attract and you’ll be more open
to guys who you previously wouldn’t go for because of a fear of being hurt or abandoned.
There are plenty of ways to love yourself and improve your confidence.
Just know that this is a long process that doesn’t happen overnight.
But here are some possible first steps: -Self-care—there’s a reason everyone is
talking about it.
Changing up your skincare routine, your makeup or your hair can be the confidence boost you
need to start feelings more like yourself.
-Take up a hobby.
Feeling ineffective and motionless can quickly become a feeling of worthlessness.
Get out there and do something.
Hobbies are a great way to get yourself moving and get feelings of accomplishment.
-Do something nice for yourself, every day.
This can be as simple as watching an episode of a tv show you like, going for a walk, or
getting a fancy coffee.
These may be things you do every day but do them mindfully and without guilt or judgment.
Tell yourself “I deserve this” and pretty soon you’ll start to feel that way.
Here are some other things you can do to break this cycle.
Figure out what you want.
Think about your ideal relationship.
How often do you want to see one another?
How serious is it?
How do they support you?
Where do you live?
What does your life together look like?
You don’t need to have a house and white picket fence picked out but if you know the
relationship that you want and need then it will be easier to go after it.
Be up front with guys when you first start dating about what you’re looking for.
It’s good to speak generally about what you’re looking for out of a relationship.
This can avoid a lot of miscommunication and missed expectations.
And don’t forget to go to coachnorth.com.
I’ve put together a free video presentation that packs in way more information than any
of my youtube videos alone.
The best advice I can give you if you’re looking to find, attract, and get exclusive
with the guy of your dreams, is to go to coachnorth.com now.
So there you have it.
Unavailable guys aren’t always a dead end if you know what to do.
Do you have a story about a guy who strung you along for awhile before finally committing?
Leave it in the comments below.
I’m sure your fellow viewers will thank you.
Bye!