~ Hello, my Frisky Ponies ~
So the new- the new
episode of the podcast is up.
It's on SoundCloud and, I think, iTunes by now,
so make sure you check it out!-
The link is in the Description! [look down below!]
It's my interview with Dave Powers,
aka DaveSuperPowers, at ObjectivePersonality.com.
What he does, uh, is...
he has a method to type people objectively,
in a system that is, uh, very similar
to Myers-Briggs, which is based on the 8 cognitive functions,
and I recommend that you listen to the podcast.
A lot of people have been saying, "Wow, I'm learning a lot from it."
And I had a good time with it, and, uh-
That's all that matters, right?- That I had a good time, so...
[chuckles and adjusts snazzy cap]
But something came up —a few things came up— in the podcast
that...
I wanna talk about now.
Specifically, I asked him stuff about INFJs,
and he had- he had a lot of
very interesting, insightful things to say about, like,
"What is the burden that INFJs carry?"
You know, "What- what is their...
their burden to bear in life?"
And so that's a very illuminating part of the podcast,
but one part that came up is-
he was like, "I'm not so sure...that this whole
'INFJ rarity' thing —that they're the rarest type—
really is true."
And that's something that I've also wondered about because
how does anyone know?
Like, I know that there are these "statistics," right?-
And I'm not a statistical "whiz kid,"
and the people who did these statistics know what they're doing,
but I just don't see how you could reliably know
the personality type, or project what the percentage of the personality types is...
I mean, not to the mention that I think that
the Myers-Briggs test, in and of itself, is flawed, and so...
I dunno, maybe there are a lot-
a lot more INFJs out there than you'd think...
And it- it kind of bugs me because, you know,
you read stuff in these articles that are like,
"You may never meet another INFJ in your LIFE,"
and it's like, "that can't be true..."
It's entirely possible that you could go your whole life without meeting someone who 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘴 they're INFJ,
but really, even if it was
1.5% of the population or whatever,
you're gonna run into another one at some point.
You know, and then the other side of that is that
people get mad at you when you start to say,
"Oh yeah, I have a friend or two who are INFJ,"
or, "My brother's INFJ,"
or, even, like, people come-
like I get drive-by commenters a lot of times, especially on
my more popular videos that are like,
"WELL, [scoffs] seems like there's a lot of INFJs
in the comment section for it to be such a 'rare' type..."
First of all, it's like,
where do you think the INFJs are gonna go?-
They're gonna go to videos about INFJ stuff.
What-
Like, let's...
HELLO?!
MCFLY?!
ANYONE HOME?!
So, that always irritates me, but it's also like...
I don't...uh, it doesn't-
the rarity doesn't matter to me, and honestly,
if you look at the official Myers-Briggs stuff,
like the companies and the people who take personality typing seriously,
they don't care about the rarity either.
They're not, like, out there pushing, "Oh, this is the rarest type!"
That comes from these blogs and media outlets
that...want clicks, right?
It's a big marketing thing...
And so, what're they gonna do?-
Are they gonna write an article that says,
"Are you ISFJ, the most 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯 personality type,"
or are they gonna say,
"Are you INFJ, the 𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 personality type?"
What's gonna get more clicks:
people who are wondering if they're the most rare or most common?
Well...
clearly- and I'm talking- I'm not talking about
blogs that are, like, INFJ related —although they can sometimes do that—
I mean, like, you know, frickin',
uh, I don't know,
Huffington Post or something
–I don't know if they specifically have a, uh, article about INFJs–
but all these other places that don't give a hoot, really, about
personality typing.
If they're writing an article about personality typing,
it's gonna be about INFJs,
because they know that people wanna see
"Are they the rare type?"
The other thing is that we get confused-
we confuse this thing of "rarity" and "value" because,
"Oh, if it's the rarest type, it must be the most valuable."
But let's say "INFJ" 𝘪𝘴 the rarest type...
that doesn't mean it's the most valuable.
Um, I don't think any one type is more valuable than any other- any other type,
and every type has different strengths and weaknesses-
[cheery background music] 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬?
"Hey, I'm Two-Type-Timmy!
Check me out-
I'm the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 rarest personality type
cuz I'm INFJ...
INFP...
-T 𝘢𝘯𝘥 -A...
and I've also got a rare blood type,
and I'm a dual citizen of the United States and
CHAD,
and...I'm also a fan of...
the Mets AND the Yankees,
so there ain't nobody like me!
But you can buy my book,
my self-help book,
uh- it's only $2,999.00,
and you can Venmo my mom! :D
One of the things that I see a lot in th-that
—and that is why I want to undercut this rarity thing—
is that I se- it's not common;
like, most of the commenters, most of you all watching,
I would say 95% of you,
are like, normal people, who are like,
"INFJ is my type, I just wanna figure out how I can,
you know, best live my life,
and use the information of my personality type to do that."
But I see some people who are using it as like...a...
defense, or like an excuse, or like, to victimize themselves.
They're like, "Oh, I'm-"
[defeated sigh]
Like, I sort of- I get it. It's like,
a lot of people feel isolated and cut off;
you feel like no one can relate to you, you can't relate to anyone else,
and so, when you find this INFJ thing, you're like,
"OH...now this is- this is who I am,
it, like, makes sense. I'm not just a freak."
But, that knowledge should encourage you to then go out into the world a bit more
and know that there are likeminded people
and you just don't know it because,
especially if you're more introverted,
all the introverts aren't, like, expressing themselves and saying,
"This is who I am," you know?
But I think...some people...don't go that way;
instead they go "this way," and they're like,
"I'm INFJ, cool, now that's it- I don't have to do anything else!"
Like, "Cool, I figured out my personality type
—and it's really rare—
so that means I shouldn't have to really improve myself.
All the things that are 'wrong' with me are not really 'wrong';
it's just my personality type."
And yeah, there are some things with you that...
maybe aren't "wrong," but...
it...I see- I see people, all the time,
doing this "blanket statement" kinda thing of
"'This' issue in my life, 'this' issue in my life, 'this' issue in my life,
all the people who victimized me- it's all because of my personality type.
There's nothing I can do about it, and...this is great.
I have this fortress of my personality type, and
'don't have to worry about 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 anymore!'"
And that's...that is destructive; that is not gonna help you out.
Once you know your personality type,
it can give you relief at first, because you realize you're not just crazy,
but then it can also-
there should be a point where knowing your personality type makes you a little uncomfortable, and you're like,
"Oh, well, now I know...what I need to work on.
I know that...that I'm- I'm bad at extraverted sensing,
I'm bad at, uh...
physical things in the real world, and,
if I want to be, like, a full-
a fully balanced,
like, successful person that everyone looks up to,
I need to realize that, even though those are my weaknesses,
I need to take responsibility for them.
I can't just say, 'Nope! Not my problem!-
Not my chair, not my problem,'
because my personality type is INFJ."
You need to be like,
"Okay, those are my weaknesses, they 𝘢𝘳𝘦 my problem,
now I'm gonna go tackle it."
Uh, this is a- it's a very important thing...
to use personality typing to kind of guide yourself...
towards...
the best avenues for self-improvement.
And, it's not- it shouldn't be a thing where,
"I found out my personality type, now I can just stay where I am forever,
now I can just stay in this rut. I can just over-,
you know,
Ni [introverted intuition], Fe [extraverted feeling] everything for the rest of my life
because that's what I'm good at."
It's like, "No, now you know what your good at,
you also know what your bad at,
now work on the things you're bad at."
And don't feel bad that you're bad at them.
Like, that's the other thing. It's good to know that,
"Oh, I'm bad at it just because I'm good-
I'm TOO good at these other things
But, when it comes to...the, like, the...introverted feeling and extraverted sensing,
I'm bad at those things-
It's okay that I'm bad at them, but I still need to work on it.
I still need to take responsibility for it."
You know, the other rarity thing is it leads-
the "INFJ rarity" thing, leads people to think,
"If we're so rare and I've never met anyone who's like me,
if I see someone else who says they're 'INFJ' and they don't seem to be exactly like me
and they don't 'resonate' with me,
they're not 'INFJ,' and I'm gonna lash out at those
monkey-fudgers," you know? [monkey-fudgers?]
And, that's...that's really bad.
I don't-
There is no point in doing that because
there are lots of different INFJs, they're not all gonna look the same.
In this podcast, Dave talks about some
celebrity INFJs who might, like, surprise you.
To give you, like, the most 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦 example, he has typed
Eminem, the- the rap artist,
as an INFJ, and most people are gonna be like,
"WHOA, I don't- he doesn't seem like me at all!
He can't be an INFJ!"
And it's like, yeah, he doesn't seem like me at all either,
but he's like a different type of INFJ.
There's a spectrum of what an INFJ can be.
It's not all the same;
it's not, "everyone's a clone of me or of you."
I'm hammering this home because this is one of the...
uh...
uh, I don't know. I don't wanna use the- [another defeated sigh]
it's one of the toxic things about the typology community,
or it can be, is when people start finger-pointing,
especially when it comes from a place of
"You are not MY type," because it's, like,
interfering with...their identity.
You know, it's like,
"My identity is wrapped up in this 'type,'
and if 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 different, you are, like, making 𝘮𝘦 feel...
like my identity is undercut."
And...
you just- y-
[third sigh of defeat, with a head shake]
not everyone is gonna be the same.
Not every INFJ is the same, not every
ESTP is the same!
There's a spectrum, and you've gotta accept that,
and you've really just gotta look at it more like,
"This is about ME. This is about figuring out myself.
It's not about looking around at everyone else and being like,
'you're mistyped, you're mistyped.'"
I don't care if people are mistyped.
And listen to the podcast cuz it- it'll all make a lot more sense...
then...but I just want to encourage everyone to
not get so wrapped up in this rarity thing, like
who cares if we're rare or not?
Don't get wrapped up in a victim mentality, either, that it's like,
"Oh, this explains why everything's wrong in my life
and now I don't have to do anything about it..."
Because, honestly, if you really are looking at your personality type,
you begin to realize that the things you think you're a "victim" in,
you had some hand in creating that.
Now, I'm not saying in every instance, like, of course
there are times where there are bad people in your life,
or bad circumstances, and you really are a victim,
but...don't take it to an extreme, like, really think about it.
When bad things happen, especially if it's these recurring things
—even if it's with the same people all the time—
what am 𝘐 doing?
What is 𝘮𝘺 part in this? How am 𝘐 creating the problem?
I think taking more responsibility and saying,
"I am to blame for these things"
—I mean, not in an unhealthy way, but—
it's not good if you're just like,
"All these other people are to blame, and I'm the victim."
Like, you've got to be wrong, at least, with one or two of those things.
Now, I know.
People in the audience are gonna be like,
"You don't know my life"; "I've had a crappy life"; I-
you know, "My parents were bad"; and "My boyfriend/girlfriend were bad";
and "My-," you know, "My kids were bad."
[chuckles with another head shake]
But, uh...I think it's just good to reflect on...
those circumstances, and be like...
"Was it really all these people who were the problem?
Was it really all these systems? Was it society?
Was it the, you know, social strata I was born into?"
—And those things do affect you, yeah— or is it,
"Do I have some role in it?"
And maybe you just need to say,
"Yeah, maybe it was everyone and everything else's fault,
but now 𝘐 need to take responsibility,
and I need to just suck it up and be like,
'Okay...it's all on me now, from here on out."
And then, maybe this- if we can debunk the rarity thing a little bit,
maybe it can make you feel a little bit...
better, a little bit more "at home" in the world, when you realize,
"Oh, there- there are other INFJs,
and they're not...𝘢𝘭𝘭 exactly like me,
and they're not 𝘢𝘭𝘭 struggling with the same things,
and I can look and see how they overcame stuff-
you know, maybe stuff that NOW they're not dealing with
but in the past they did," you know?
Maybe one day I can be like Eminem,
rapping on stage...
[snorts from chuckling, amused at prospect of being a rapper]
So, thanks for listening, I-
I don't think that anything in this-
well...I feel like this vlog is a bit more hard-hitting than usual,
but I don't say this with any judgment. I mean, I'm not-
I'm saying this because I think it's good to...
to just look at these things honestly,
and to not get so caught up in the "romance" of the personality type,
and the "rarity" of it.
That doesn't- That's not like a big-
That doesn't help anyone...
at least in the long-term.
It might feel good at first, but after, you know, [stammers]
for the next 20 years, are you gonna be like,
"I'm rare~!"
And, you know, the funny thing is, like,
if you look at the frickin' studies,
"ENTJ" is almost as rare as "INFJ,"
but you never hear anyone pontificating about ENTJs.
It's like this- What is the study...it's like...
[investigates information]
According to this,
INFJ is 1.5%, ENTJ is 1.8%,
so 0.3% difference. Is that like a big thing?-
We just barely beat the ENTJs?...
Come on.
Thanks for watching!
If you were offended, please give it a like!
If you weren't offended, give it a like! [you heard the man!]
And, uh, 'til next time, stay cool and attractive ~