[humming] Om -
- Om -
[coughs / clears throat]
- Om -
I see you've finally decided to join us!
Welcome, welcome!
Take a seat, anywhere you'd like.
Literally anywhere - there aren't any chairs in this room.
I don't know, you could - just plop down wherever.
Can I offer you a Kool-Aid?
Ah - no, I'm not going to have one.
I only you consume whole foods -
single origin, fair trade, non-GMO, organic, raw, ve-
What's that?
You're surprised to see me in white?
Yeah, I - uh - I guess it's not very practical.
I do prefer my minimalist uniform.
[snap!]
Wait - wrong outfit.
[snap!]
Much better.
Speaking of clothes, you're gonna to do something about yours.
You're gonna have to purchase at least one standard-issue black merino wool Uniqlo t-shirt.
Although, it does seem like a step in the wrong direction to start off your
minimalist journey with a purchase...
In fact, it is one of THE LAWS OF MINIMALISM to use what you have lying around.
My dear, close, personal friend Marie Kondo is very good at this.
She uses tiny boxes from past jewelry and shoe
purchases to organize items within closets and drawers.
She actually has an entire room of her house dedicated to storing
hundreds of empty tiny boxes, just in case she might need to use them someday.
I would know - I've been to her house.
As a new minimalist, you too will have to become a master of the multi-purpose,
multi-functionality.
You won't own much, so everything you do own needs to serve at least 18 different purposes,
give or take a few.
For example...
um...
You could take this Kool-Aid bottle and...
unlock it's multi-functionality... by...
reusing the bottle once its empty!
See! Now it's a vase!
Superbly useful!
Oh! And - all of your items must "spark joy."
It's one of those laws that you agreed to, when you signed the papers to become a minimalist.
The other one is the...
the 20/20 rule...?
20 in and out in 20 days?
It's - uh -
It's also known as "the mins game."
Which is called that, obviously, because it only takes a few mins a day!
I hope you've picked up on the joke by now.
If not, I apologize -
on your behalf. Apology accepted.
Truthfully, there are no set laws or guidelines even that you need to follow to become a minimalist.
It's a way of thinking, of valuing things differently.
And no, minimalism is not a religion - no matter how much of a cult following Zen Habits
still has.
"DUDE! You read Zen Habits?!"
"I LOVE Zen Habits!"
[sigh]
Minimalism is not the end goal - it's the springboard.
It's the very beginning.
It's the thing that's going to help you to get to the other things that you value
and that you want to do with your life.
It'll help you do away with the distractions and the stresses,
so that you can really focus on what you want to achieve and how you're going to achieve that.
As Bruce Lee once said,
"Empty your cup, so that it may be filled."
So sincerely, thank you for joining us.
It'll be - uh - fun to see what you do with the place!
'til next time!
[click!]