I feel sorry for these ghetto kids.
That's why, you know, Planned Parenthood, you know,
they was trying to take that away.
Please keep it.
'Cause everybody shouldn't be having babies.
And I'll be on TV and say this.
I don't care who gets mad at me.
(crowd cheering)
Yeah.
Everybody shouldn't be having no damn babies.
Especially hood rats-- they are terrible mothers.
I don't give a... put me in...
Yes, quote it.
I don't care who gets mad.
Hood rats are bad mothers.
They really are-- they make their kids
grow up too damn fast.
You ever talk to a little ghetto-ass kid?
Like, two?
Very articulate, 'cause he don't...
(laughs)
He-- that's the only way he get things done.
"How you doing, brother. Uh, could you change me?"
"Damn, how old are you?"
"I'm two, sir. I don't know where my mother is.
Sick of raising myself."
Like, damn, you mature.
And they be talking to their kids like they grown.
Like, like it's their fault, you know what I'm saying?
Like, "Damn, why your nose running? Ugh."
"I don't know, maybe 'cause I'm two.
"I don't know, I don't know how to do that.
"I saw some kids with the little squishy thing that comes...
stuff come out and you're not doing it for me."
You don't want your kids going to a day care
with a bunch of hood rats' kids.
Let me tell you how you know you you walking into a bad day care.
When you walk in there, you see numbered car seats lined up.
Let me tell you why-- those kids are just getting dropped off,
and they don't know who picking them up.
(laughter)
I like how white people aahing.
It's the truth-- y'all better stop aahing
and do something about it.
It's the (bleep) truth.
You see the kids get dropped off.
You know how strong a little boy
got to be to hold his own car seat?
He three years old.
"All right, Mama, take care."
The school not even open yet.
He just chilling. "How y'all doing?
She must've had a job interview or something, golly."
(laughs) He know the ja...
"Hey, Marvin, I'm outside!"
He know the janitor name.
"Marvin!
"Marvin, Little Larry here.
Could you open the door, please?"
Little boy's strong as hell, holding his own car seat.
He got to learn how to do stuff on his own.
He's signing hisself out.
He can't even read yet, but he...
He don't know who picking him up.
"All right, let me get up out of here, all right.
"Are you here for Little Larry? No?
Damn, y'all got some Wite-Out? I already signed out."
(laughs)
Checking his own little day care box.
(laughs)
Boy like, "Huh, I need some wipes."
(laughs)
I'm just playing-- that's terrible.
Well, look, I take it, too.
I'm gonna tell y'all what happened then, all right?
Look, I went to pick my kids up one day, right?
And it was one little boy left.
And I guess he was tired-- he's like, "Look here, brother.
"Uh... I can tell you're a real good parent,
"and I've been waiting on you.
"I'm locking up.
Uh, the teacher left."
I'm like, "The teacher left?"
"Yeah, it's part of my work study.
That's the only way I can be here."
"You got work study at day care?"
"Yes, work study-- that's the only way I could be here, sir.
"That's a whole nother story.
"Anyway, can I get a lift? Uh...
"I don't know who's picking me up.
Uh, I changed your kids."
"How the hell you change my kids?"
"I did it, sir; I have brothers and sisters
at home that I take care of."
"You three."
"It doesn't matter, sir; I'm very mature."
He done dug in his diaper.
"Look, I got five dollars, sir.
"Here's a little gas money for you.
"You don't have to do anything.
"I'm strong as hell. I carry my own car seat.
"You ain't got to a damn thing, sir, you hear me?
I set it up myself and everything."
I'm like, "Come on, now, you gonna set up your own...
your own car seat?"
He's like, "Yes, sir, yes, I will."
And that's why I gave him a ride 'cause I wanted to see it.
I'm like, "All right."
(laughs)
So we walk to the car-- I'm gonna show y'all exact...
And he was talking to himself while he's doing it.
Like, it was so funny.
He's like, "Okay, okay, here we go.
"Ooh, you know, 'cause sometimes y'all put us in here
"and the seat belt still be loose,
"but you guys don't get it.
"Okay, that's tight, all right.
"Okay, me.
Make a left."
(laughs)
So, look...
I drop him off, right?
This is-- I can't make this up. I drop him off.
He take it off, "Okay.
"Take care, brother.
"You are a good man of God, you know that?
You are a blessing."
So, look.
I didn't pull off 'cause I wanted to make sure
he got in the house safe, but he had an attitude.
He got on the porch, "Hey, everybody, hey!
"Little Larry is home!
"I'm sick of this mess, okay?
"Y'all watch the
"You forgot to pick me up.
"I'm sick of this.
Just for that, I'm cutting everything off."
They done put everything in his name.
"I'm cutting everything off!
"The lights, the gas, the cable.
"It's all off!
"How you like those apples?
I just grew my hair, and I'm losing it again."
(laughs)