- Okay guys, welcome to another episode
of The Rachel Cruze Show.
And this episode is pretty special
because I have my brother and sister here.
Guys, welcome.
- Thanks, Rachel. - Thank you.
- How does it feel in here?
You love it?
- It's good. - Cozy.
- Good, good, good.
- Homey, yeah.
- Thank you, thank you.
Well, we have Denise and Daniel.
Okay, so say, you don't have to do age,
but like married, not married,
kids, not, so people can kind of get a grasp
of like, okay. Cause you're older.
You're the oldest.
- Yes, I'm the oldest.
And so, yeah, we're two and a half years difference.
And I'm married with three little babies.
Three babes.
- [Both] Yes.
- Yeah, yeah.
I'm the youngest, yeah.
You're four years older than me.
- [Rachel] Yes.
- And Denise is six years older than me.
So I was born a little bit after some of the drama
but learned all the hard lessons, so.
- That's right, that's right.
And married, to sweet Allison.
- Yeah, married to my wife Allison.
- And a babe coming.
- And a baby on the way.
- [Rachel] Yeah, so fun.
- Later this summer.
- So everyone on the show or most people that watch know
kind of the Ramsey story and the bankruptcy,
and that I was born the year that that happened.
So you were like two and a half-ish.
I was born that year,
Daniel came a little bit after.
So, when I was writing the book,
"Know Yourself, Know Your Money"
and I was doing the manuscript of the childhood classrooms,
realizing that money is communicated in two ways.
It's communicated verbally and emotionally,
and it creates kind of these four classrooms.
So I said in the book that I felt
like we grew up in classroom number four
(bell dings)
which is the stable money classroom
or the secure money classroom.
And that is where it's verbally open and emotionally calm.
So, I'm gonna just throw it out here
'cause I said in the book too,
like siblings can have a different perspective.
So do you all think we grew up in that classroom
or a different one?
- I would think we grew up in that one.
- [Rachel] Okay.
- Yeah, I mean I feel like especially
'cause mom and dad were so open at the,
I mean, especially at that point,
so it was still so new
that they were like in the teaching mode
and so they all they wanted to do was like teach us
'cause they were excited
and like they didn't want us to screw up like they did.
- Yes.
- And so, yeah, it was calm,
but like exciting calm, if that makes sense.
- Yeah totally.
- So they made it fun.
- Yes, yes.
Do you think we grew up in that classroom?
- Yeah, for sure.
I mean, it was never stressed.
It was open, but we talked about,
hey, we're not gonna do something
because this is not part of the plan.
It was more of a reason of discipline
than actually like,
us not, you know, being able to
or us being stressed about it.
So yeah. - [Rachel] Yeah, yep
Yeah, so one of those,
again part of that quadrant is the verbal communication,
we just said that.
So it's either, for people, closed or open
and we would say we are an open verbal family.
- Oh yeah. - Would you agree?
- Yes, we are. - Absolutely.
(all laughing)
- Including some debates, so.
- Oh, we love family debates.
- Yeah.
- We can get into it, we can get into it.
But when it comes to money,
like you guys said, we talked about it.
So what are a couple of ways
or do you have any memories of talking about money
whether it's something you wanted to buy
or anything like that?
- Yeah, I mean, when you first said that,
all I thought about was Sundays.
Like Sunday was payday for us.
- [Rachel] Yes.
- And so we'd get our little chore charts
and go down and like figure out,
okay, I did this chore, I didn't do this chore
and we got paid.
And so, I mean, I'm sitting in the living room floor
and like dividing out,
like giving, spending, saving.
And so even at a young age, we were doing that.
And so just having those real conversations with Mom and Dad
about spending like, okay, this is,
I was saving up for a Barbie doll or whatever.
And so being able to go to the store
and be able to purchase that
or, yeah, or saving for my car.
So, I mean, so yeah, we had those like real conversations.
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah, it was good, open dialogue
where we actually understood.
I feel like they really taught us the value of it,
of like earning it
and that it's not limitless
like their pocketbook,
their ability to give us money
or us to earn like,
it has to be earned. It can't just be found.
- Right, yeah.
So one thing that I feel like parents struggle with
you probably feel like this with your kids.
I'm like, how do we,
how to raise kids that are not entitled
that are not spoiled,
that understand the value of a dollar, right?
And like doing commissions and all of that
I think is a great foundation to start with your kids.
But as we grew older,
I mean, Mom and Dad became more and more successful.
And when you do what we teach over a long period of time,
you're gonna build wealth.
When you're out of debt, you're investing,
you're saving, you're giving,
mathematically that's pretty much what occurs,
if that's what you do consistently.
So, when we were, you know, probably in high school
I feel like I was still told no,
even though Mom and Dad had the ability to give us things
and whether that's a nice purse
or buying something cheap at Target,
but like it wasn't the price that made the difference.
Like I always look back like,
and they did that really well
'cause I feel like we somewhat
we're not perfect by any means.
But I feel like they did a great job balancing
blessings in life but yet putting that responsibility on us.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
- And do you have any thoughts around that?
Cause people ask a lot,
how not to raise entitled, spoiled kids.
How do you think Mom and Dad did that?
- Yeah.
- Considering y'all are not spoiled and entitled,
which they might be just a little bit.
(laughing loudly)
I'm the good one.
- I mean, one thing that stands out to me is,
I remember, you know, we lived very,
we lived very modestly,
even when they could afford stuff.
And I don't think I realize how successful,
you know, our parents were
and how good they were financially
until I got older and saw them
loosen the reigns on themselves
and saw them starting to buy different cars
and they moved houses and things like that.
I got, I had no idea.
And then asking them the questions afterwards
made me realize they were way more intentional
and they weren't, they were living way below their means
for a lot longer time than I realized.
And so, so yeah.
- It was just the thing more is caught than taught, right?
- [Both] Yeah.
- Like when you watch your parents
have a boundary with money,
whether they can or can't, it's is it necessary,
that automatically gives influence on your kids.
Your kids are watching you.
- [Denise] Yes.
- It's huge, it's so huge.
(upbeat music)
Today we're talking about things
we need to stop wasting $20 on.
Baby shoes.
Mmm hmm, they're babies.
They're not walking around. Don't buy shoes for them.
Lottery tickets.
Yeah, the Powerball jackpot.
You got one in 292 million chances of winning,
so don't waste your money.
An Olaf waffle maker.
I mean, pretty dang cute, I know.
And the results, adorable,
but let it go.
Wipe warmers.
Yeah, the baby is gonna survive.
Keep your $20.
Clothes for your pets.
(dog barking)
I mean, super cute, fabulous, bougie, all the things,
but you don't need to spend $20 on it.
Guys, these things are totally unnecessary.
What I do need to make sure I'm taking care of
are these guys.
I remember when Winston and I first got married
and we talked about life insurance.
Honestly, it was easy for us to talk about
because we wanted to keep each other covered
in case the worst were to ever happen.
That's why we have term life insurance
through Zander Insurance.
It's $20 to $30 a month that I am more than happy to spend.
Zander shops the top-rated term life insurance companies
to make sure that they find you the best rates
for the coverage that your family needs.
You can have the same peace of mind that we have.
So go to zander.com to get started today.
Don't waste any more time.
(upbeat music)
Okay, what's a time, speaking of boundaries,
that Mom and Dad said no to you?
That you were like, man, I really want that
and they were like, mmm, nope.
Like a teenager.
Is there any time that was like, man.
- Yeah, I do have a memory of going
to Best Buy when I was a kid
and I'd saved up all this money to buy a Game Boy,
and I remember I didn't calculate the tax.
Like I knew how much it cost
and I showed up with the right amount of money
and I didn't have the money for the tax,
cause I just, you know, who knew?
That was a good lesson in it of itself.
And I remember going and purchasing it
but I couldn't afford a game because I had to pay the tax.
So I bought this Game Boy without a game.
(all laughing)
I think I remember,
I don't how sure exactly
but I think I remember my mom bailing me out
and then me paying her back,
like, you know when we got home or something like that.
So like, it's not like they were hard-core
on every little thing.
- Yes. - You're right.
- Like she felt bad for me and she recognized it
but it still stuck with me.
I still learned the lesson, even though she,
you know, she helped me out a little bit.
- Yes, yes, that's good, that's good.
The Game Boy.
- The Game Boy.
- Yeah.
- Tetris.
- [Both] Oh yeah.
- Do you have any stories, Denise?
- God, I know it's some similar.
I mean, just like being a girl,
I mean you were like the fun shoes and the fun purses
and so just, I mean, at Christmastime and stuff, you know.
- [Rachel] Yeah.
- Wanted to ask for something and they're like, no,
like you are a teenager. You don't need to be buying
or like asking for these types of things.
- [Rachel] Yes, totally, totally.
- So, yeah. - That's so good.
Okay, So what is one thing
that you will duplicate, replicate if you will,
that Mom and Dad did that you loved?
And then is there anything, if not, no big deal,
is there anything you would do different?
- I don't know,
that's something we've already kind of started with our kids
and we have like the little junior chore charts.
- [Rachel] Yes.
- [Denise] And so they're hanging up on the fridge.
They love being able to,
okay, I made up my bed
I gotta run downstairs and put my check mark.
So just starting that process early
and then also just teaching them to give at an early age
'cause I think that's so important
and such a firm foundation to start on.
That, I mean, I remember looking back
and that was something that we started so early
and that's something that's been implanted in us
that it hasn't even been a question now as adults.
Like the first thing you do, tithe it to the church.
And so, it doesn't, it's not that big of a deal,
you know, if that makes sense.
- Yeah, which is such a good point
'cause when you change your money habits
to say, okay I'm gonna do something new like giving,
like maybe as an adult, you never did give
and you're like, now I wanna start that,
it's kind of this new muscle you have to build.
But when it's all you know
you don't have to learn anything new,
It's just part of it.
- [Denise] Yeah, exactly, it's just part of life.
- That's great, the giving, I love that.
- Yeah, the giving is something
that came front of mind for me was like,
I remember at church, you know, watching our dad
put the check in the tithe, you know?
And I remember one day he stopped doing it
and being like, I was like what the heck?
And he is like, oh, I started doing it online,
or I started mailing it
or he said something like that.
And I remember being like, oh, okay.
You know, but they involved us in their giving.
They talked about it and they gave us opportunities.
I remember around Christmastime
us go into the grocery store at Kroger
and you know, watching people go in
and handing them money as they went in,
people that looked like they could use it
and then we prayed over that process.
And that was really life-changing.
- Anything you would do different?
People always ask me this question a lot
and I always say,
like the principles of what we learn, no.
I mean, I'm still gonna.
- Yeah, not that they did it perfectly.
- No.
- They are like. - Right.
- They did.
- What's yours, Daniel? Do you have one?
- I mean, I just thought about your book,
where you talked about mom stealing popcorn.
- Oh yeah.
(all laughing)
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, and not justifying being cheap in really crazy ways
but, yeah, okay.
- That is good, that is good.
- [Both] Yes.
- Yeah, just being able to actually spend your money.
- Being at Cracker Barrel
and taking all the jelly and putting it in your purse
and you're like.
- Maple syrup.
- Or maple syrup, oh yeah, all of it.
All of it, that's so funny.
I guess, I think I would do the car thing.
I love the matching 16.
- [Both] Yeah.
- Well, even college, I feel like they were a little bit,
which is funny to say,
it's kind of the opposite extreme of what you would think,
they did not make us work in college.
Sometimes summers they're like,
you have to be productive and do something.
But there's a level of skin in the game
I think I may want my kids to do with college.
I don't know what that looks like, what capacity.
- [Denise] Yeah.
- But I kind, I'm leaning that way right now
for some reason.
- [Denise] Oh, yeah.
- It's something I thought about.
- [Both] Yeah.
- I know they gave, yeah during college,
they helped us out so we wouldn't have to get a job,
but I remember I took on a job during school,
I think for a year and a half.
Although I had a little bit of money from our parents,
like it was enough to get by and it was fine,
it wasn't over the top by any means.
And just having extra money in my pocket gave me more pride,
it gave me more ownership,
and yeah, I felt like I was way more intentional.
- [Rachel] Yeah, yeah.
- Because.
- [Rachel] With that.
- Because of all that. - Yeah.
- So as we close out,
what is one piece of encouragement you could give parents
that are on Baby Step 2,
they're working their way out of debt,
they're sacrificing, they're maybe working extra,
they're saying no to their kids all the time,
'cause they just wanna get out of debt.
And it's that strenuous process
and it's hard when you have
littles running around the house.
- [Denise] Oh yeah.
- And so that's what Mom and Dad did.
So what's one
encouragement you can give those parents?
Because I know for me,
growing up and knowing that my parents did something,
sacrificed something for me, changed everything.
Like when I saw, oh wow, they did that,
it's when you're a little bit older,
but they did that and then the lessons I learned
because of the boundaries they set
is probably what gives me a little bit
of self-control today.
- [Both] Yeah.
- When it comes to my money.
So that's always my encouragement to parents
that you're not harming your kids by telling them no.
- No.
- And by the sacrifice.
So what would y'all say in your perspective
like what would you tell that family?
- Yeah, I mean, I would just say just be open
and like talk about what's going on,
and yeah just share what's going on.
- [Rachel] Yeah, have the conversation.
- Yeah, have the conversation and share what's going on.
- [Rachel] That's good.
- And explain why and be like,
you know, we're doing this now
so later we can really enjoy going out to eat
or really going on vacations,
and we get to really celebrate when we get to do that.
- Yeah, that's awesome, that's awesome.
- [Denise] Yeah.
- Yeah, I can think back to just
memories of us whining a lot
or complaining like not going out to lunch after church
and stuff like that and just begging for things
and looking back I'm so glad we didn't
because like although we missed out on like,
you know great breadsticks
or something like that at a restaurant.
- [All] Olive Garden!
- But although we missed out on that,
you don't remember that.
What you remember is what you learned.
And we learned the discipline
and the value and the intentionality.
And it's not that we couldn't afford going out to eat
so much as we already had a meal planned at home
like we'd already bought the groceries for it
and like sticking to it, so.
- [Both] Yeah.
- That's good, that's good.
Awesome, well, thanks y'all.
- Well thanks, Rach.
- I appreciate you coming.
(all conversing)
Sitting on my couch.
- Love it.
- All right, that's pretty great, pretty great.
Hope y'all come back again sometime.
- Thanks for having us.
- Yeah, thank you.
(upbeat music)