HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BARBIE!
LET'S CELEBRATE! EW!
ARE YOU CLEANING THE PLACE?
HELLO, HONEY?
OH! HEY, BARBIE, THERE YOU ARE.
NO, I'M POLICE OFFICER BARBIE.
LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU KILLED YOUR OLD LADY.
THAT'S CRAZY! I DIDN'T KILL HER.
SEE? HERE SHE IS.
NO, I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR, SECRETARY BARBIE --
INTRODUCED IN 2007 -- PROGRESSIVE!
YOU KILLED YOUR WIFE BECAUSE SHE WAS PREGNANT!
BUT I DON'T EVEN HAVE A DICK!
IT'S NOT HARD TO FAKE A MURDER.
BREAK SOME FURNITURE. EASY WHEN IT'S ALL PLASTIC.
THEN LEAVE SOMETHING FOR THE COPS TO FIND.
KEN LOVED A GIRL WHO NEVER EXISTED, A BARBIE DOLL.
ISN'T THAT WHAT ALL MEN WANT?
A BIG-TITTED BLONDE BOMBSHELL
WHO'S AN ARCHITECT/ASTRONAUT DURING THE DAY
AND AN AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR IN THE BEDROOM.
OH, BARBIE, OH, YOU CAME BACK!
I WAS SO WORRIED!
I'M NOT YOUR WIFE, DUMBASS. I'M TV REPORTER BARBIE.
AND MY VIEWERS WANT TO KNOW, ON A SCALE OF 9 TO 10,
HOW GAY ARE YOU REALLY?
FINALLY, TIME TO START FRESH.
I'LL TAKE THE BARBIE BEACH CRUISER,
THE LUXURY BATHTUB SET, THE EURO STYLE FASHION PACK,
THE WAVE RIDER, AND -- OH, YEAH -- THE UNICORN.
YEAH, RIGHT. HOW YOU GONNA PAY FOR THAT CRAP?
SORRY, HOW AM I GONNA
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
OH, KEN! I'M BACK!
ALL IS FORGIVEN, DARLING!
Shh! If we're quiet, maybe she'll go away.
HOW ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?
NONE OF US HAVE WORKING JUNK.
SHUT UP AND RUB MY LUMP.