a couple weeks ago I had to go to the
MBA to update my driver's license
actually I should explain that before I
go any further see in most places in the
United States the place I went to is
called the Department of Motor Vehicles
or the DMV my State Maryland is one of
the states that decided to get cute and
call it something else here it's the
Motor Vehicle Administration or the MBA
but just so you know when I referred to
the MBA I'm talking about the DMV or the
BMV or the MVD or the RMV or the DVLA or
whatever the hell they call it where you
live the place you have to go to sort
out your vehicle registration and
driver's license so I had to go to the
MBA a couple of weeks ago to update my
driver's license my license doesn't
expire for a few more years but Maryland
is implementing the Real ID Act which
requires additional proofs of identity
and residence and legal status so that
when you present your driver's license
as proof of identity the person you're
presenting it to a cop who clocked you
doing five miles over the posted speed
limit and pulled you over because he was
having a slow day a post office employee
to whom you've just applied for a
passport your new girlfriend's father
who has just accused you of being an
identity thief can be assured that you
truly are who the license says you are
the MBA started sending me notifications
in the mail back in the summer telling
me I had until December to update my
documentation and get my real ID the
letters they would send me all aged me
to call or go online to make an
appointment to come in and present my
documents I never did so toward the end
of November I got a letter from the MBA
informing me that they had gone ahead
and made an appointment for me which was
great because that way I didn't have to
bother making the appointment all I had
to do was show up when they told me to
show up which really took the pressure
off of me so I showed up at the MBA at
the appointed date and time I had a copy
of my birth certificate
I had my social secure
turning card it had my pieces of
official mail with my address on them to
establish that I really do live where I
say I live I did everything I was
supposed to do and I walked into the MBA
and everything went fine I waited in
line for a minute a lady checked over my
documents she gave me a number and told
me to go wait and someone else would
call my number in a few minutes they
actually called my number before I even
had a chance to sit down I walked up to
the window where my number had been
called another lady took my documents
and scanned them and typed some into her
computer then she gave me back my
documents gave me a receipt thanked me
and told me I could go it was all over
in less than five minutes and as I was
in the parking lot walking back to my
truck I got to thinking you know I've
never had a bad experience at the MBA
not one every time I've gone there the
people have been polite and helpful I
even had to go there once to get a cop
to inspect my taillight after another
cop had written me a citation because it
had gone out it was just a burned-out
bulb so I replaced the bulb fix the
taillight and then drove to the MBA
there's a little office down a hallway
where there's always a state trooper and
I showed him my citation and he walked
outside with me checked my taillight
signed off that it was fixed and I was
on my way he was so courteous he didn't
make me wait ten minutes just to prove
he was in charge he behaved like a
public servant interacting with a member
of the public I'm sure he couldn't have
been thrilled to be pulling MBA duty
that day I imagine he would have rather
been out on the street costing people of
color over minor traffic violations but
it was one of the most pleasant
encounters with a cop I've ever had
the only negative experience at the MBA
I've ever had was when I was 16 and I
took my driving test for the first time
and I failed the test but that wasn't
the fault of anyone who worked at the
MBA I did a rolling stop during the road
test it was my fault
now I'm not trying to generalize based
on my own experience because that can be
dangerous just because I have had a
particular experience or a series of
similar experiences that doesn't mean
those experiences are the norm but by
the same token I can't be that much of
an exception either can I are positive
or at the very least not negative
experiences at the MBA / DMV / whatever
really so rare and if not negative
experiences at the MBA DMV whatever
aren't rare how did that particular
agency acquire its reputation for
terrible customer service you know what
I think I think we're the problem I
think it's our fault the MBA has such a
shitty reputation I'm not saying there's
no such thing as a rude DMV employee if
you have a story about a terrible time
at the DMV that was the fault of the
people who work there I believe you okay
but I am saying that the rude unhelpful
employee is probably not a fair
representative of the DMV or of similar
government agencies I think often our
bad experiences at places like the DMV
are caused by our own impatience and
selfishness because look at the things
people tend to complain about long lines
having to wait for an extended period of
time before you get to talk to someone
that's not the fault of the person on
the other side of the counter from you
if a bunch of other people got there
first and you have to wait then you just
have to wait nobody did anything wrong
the people in line ahead of you didn't
show up early to beat you there
the DMV employees helping the other
people in line aren't dragging their
feet intentionally just to screw you
over what else do people complain about
the rudeness the lack of courtesy from
DMV employees and like I said do
legitimately rude DMV employees exist
I'm sure they do I've never met one but
I'm sure they're out there and yet I'd
be willing to bet that more often than
not what we take to be rudeness is just
a DMV employee trying to deal with you
in the most efficient
man are possible so you can take care of
your business and get out of the way to
make room for the person in line behind
you who might be just as pissy about
having to wait as you were before your
number was called I heard someone say
one time complaining about having to go
to the DMV for something you're nothing
but a number to those people yeah that's
right you're one of many people dozens
perhaps hundreds of people with similar
problems that they'll have to deal with
over the course of that day so within
the context of this interaction you
sitting across the counter from them at
the DMV yes you're a number to them what
do you expect that they're gonna ask you
what you did for Christmas compliment
you on your stylish yet understated
choice of frames for your eyeglasses ask
to see pictures of your [ __ ]
grandkids do you have any idea how much
longer the wait would be if they did
that to everyone who came up to the
window you're a whiny [ __ ] over
having to wait already is that what you
really want some of you might be saying
sure Steve you've had good experiences
at the DMV but the population of your
entire County is like twenty people I
live in I don't know a San Francisco or
somewhere there's a lot more people here
and I'd rather decapitate myself with my
car's license plate than go to the DMV
fair enough and good luck with that
but let me ask you this why is it so
much worse going to the DMV in a large
city than a small one what's the
difference more people I still don't see
how that's the fault of the people
working at the DMV if the problem is
just that you don't like to wait see my
previous statement about what impatient
should ask as we all are and if the
problem is that the wait times are
legitimately unreasonable the DMV
employees aren't to blame for that
because it's not their fault if there
aren't enough people working there to
handle the number of customers and by
the way the fact that the DMV is usually
the government agency being complained
about is itself a
marker of how privileged those of us who
are driving this conversation are
because there are other agencies the
Social Security Administration the
Health Department the Department of
Social Services the employment office
etc which offer services that are even
more important and urgently needed by
many people then our driver's licenses
or vehicle registrations and which are
just as understaffed and underfunded as
the DMV if not more so how did frontline
government employees get to be the
scapegoats for all our petty and title
[ __ ]
they don't make policy they don't set
their own funding there sometimes
insufficiently trained through no fault
of their own
they're often overworked and underpaid
especially in areas with large
populations where the offices of places
like the DMV or the Social Security
Administration are packed with people in
need of their services on a daily basis
and yet when we go there and have a bad
time we blame them instead of the
politicians who cut their funding or
made the arcane rules by which they have
to abide for my whole life I'll be 40
this year I've heard politicians mostly
Republicans disparaging the government
blaming the government for all our
problems talking about government
employees as though they're leeches
stealing our tax dollars
now think about that politicians state
and federal legislators governors
presidents etc who are actually
responsible for government dysfunction
have gotten us to direct our anger and
annoyance over that dysfunction away
from them and toward government
employees who are not responsible for it
that is diabolical
I'd say it's brilliant but it only works
because we're such gullible easily led
rubes so how brilliant is it really if
you get a fish to bite a hook with a
worm on it does that mean you're a
genius or is the fish just not very
bright now like I said it's mostly
Republicans who have made complaining
about the government a focal point of
their rhetoric and gutting government
services a cornerstone of their policies
for generations that's not to say there
haven't been shitty Democrats who have
done the same thing but in general
vilifying and hobbling the government is
a Republican trait that being the case
here's what I propose
if you vote Republican the next time you
have a negative experience at the DMV or
some other government agency instead of
complaining about it try one of these
two alternatives one stop voting for
Republicans who slash funding for
government services thereby creating the
circumstances that probably caused your
negative experience in the first place
or if you intend to continue voting for
Republicans take option to shut the [ __ ]
up
because most of the problems people
complain about regarding the DMV and
other government agencies are the result
of that office not having the resources
it needs to meet the demand for its
services and that's not the fault of the
people who work there it's the fault of
the state or federal legislators and
executives who have failed to provide
those necessary resources and if you
voted for those legislators and
executives and support the political
party to which they belong ultimately
it's your fault too but
do a few underfunded government agencies
really matter as long as billionaires
get to pay a lower tax rate right in
fact the next time you're stuck at the
DMV steeping in your own impotent rage
as you wait for them to call your number
just think of all the unfathomably
wealthy people in our country who are
benefiting thanks in part to your
sacrifice granted to them the benefit is
minuscule because they would never even
have missed the money needed to pay the
higher taxes which might have enabled
your DMV office to hire more employees
or provide better training but hey as
you're sitting there on that metal bench
peevishly glancing back and forth
between your ticket and the monitor that
displays the number currently being
served at least you'll know