That's not how you pour a pint. Come and have a drink with us.
Uh, excuse me, I'm waiting. I think I love you.
Run!
Whoa!
Waves money in your face.
Serve me!
No, no. Just no.
They think that them waving it in your face will make you, like, run over.
Yeah. Oh, shit, sorry, I didn't know you had money. Sorry. Yeah.
Everyone else is paying in stones, but you have fucking money.
You're not going to get served any faster if you order waving
you money in the air like I am some sort of cattle at an auction.
But if I've missed you, just say "excuse me".
Don't be like, "Oi! Darling!"
I wish it was like The Purge and there was one night where you could...
Oh, my God! I always think that. ..just pour your drinks over people.
I'll be in the middle of, like, making, like, a Fosters
and I'll just be thinking, like, "If there was a purge for one day."
Yeah. Like, "Oh, shit, the Fosters!"
Oh, my favourite.
Give us a smile, love.
Ugh.
It's three in the morning, I've forgotten how to smile.
They always say it when you've done a long shift already. Oh, yeah.
I might have had the worst day ever, you might have the worst day ever.
I might have lost someone, my grandmother might have died.
But you're telling me to smile.
I'll have a pint of lager and your number.
It's that easy. You just got my number.
Yes, let's go! Do it now! We can run away.
BOTH: No.
I'm checking my phone quickly and some guy was like,
"Can I get your number?" I was like, "Oh, sorry, I haven't got a phone."
Yeah. He's like, "But I just saw you put it away." I was like, "I haven't got a phone."
Your eyes were deceiving you.
You're not entitled to me and your drink.
You're entitled to drink and that is literally it.
It's not even a flattery, it's really not.
Because we all know you have beer googles on.
Pushing, like, two, three in the morning and they'd be like,
"Can I have your number?"
And I would give them a taxi number, cos I'd be like,
"If you are asking for my number at this time of night,
"you clearly need to go home."
Or, give the pint, "Do you come with that, as well?"
No. No, I don't. No.
I also would be a lot more than what that pint cost.
If I were to put a monetary... You are priceless.
Don't put a price on yourself, girls.
"Oi, darling!"
Yeah. Yeah.
Babes, sweetheart...
If they wanted to get the boy's attention on the bar,
they'd be like, "Oi, mate!"
And I'd be like, "Why can't I be your mate?" Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want to be your mate. I want to be your friend.
Yeah, maybe I'd serve you quicker if I was your mate.
One I hate the most is, "You all right, gorgeous?"
Gorgeous, yes!
No!
I'm like, I'm like, "You really thought you looked cute?" Yeah.
OK.
Or sometimes, like, if you kind of ignore them because you're busy,
they were just like, "Ching-ching-chong."
Like, behind you. Get out! Are you serious? Yeah.
"While you're down there..."
Guys, stop doing that.
That's not a cute innuendo, no-one needs to hear that.
It's like, "Security!"
Like, I'll be picking something up off the floor
and they'll be like, "Oh, while you're down there."
And I'd be like, "Do I flick it? Do I...?"
Like, I don't know.
People ask me to reach for certain things behind the bar.
They'll just go for the whole body thing.
They'll just go straight to the boobs and you're just like...
..I mean, they're there and congrats for finding them.
And he was like,
"Oh, it was really interesting watching you shake a cocktail,
"cos now I know how good you look in bed."
Ugh! And I was like...
They were chatting to me and chatting me up and stuff
and eventually I was like, "Oh, yeah. That's my boyfriend."
And he turned to him and went,
"What's it like to have sex with her?"
You do have to learn to, like, build this hard exterior, almost.
Yeah. And learn to, like, build a hard shell.
I would be like, "Oh, can I get you anything else?"
And they'd be like, "Mm, yeah, a little bit of you."
I'd be like, "Oh, I've already got a dad, but, um...
"..but thanks."
"Go on, have a shot with us."
I don't know what you do with your job in your daily life and drinking
and good for you!
You can buy me a drink, but I can only drink after shift,
because I'm working.
It got to the point where I heard it so many times, where I was just,
like, I was doing their vodka shots, I would just sneakily
put a bit of water in mine. Just to join in the fun.
If I was hammered behind by the bar, you wouldn't want to be served by me.
No. Cos I would be telling you all what I thought of you.
Like, I would be keeping... not keeping that shit in.
Oh, oh!
What's your real job?
Is this a fake job? Am I not getting paid?
I'm actually a NASA-trained scientist,
but I like to work here on the weekends. Yeah.
There are some people who really do genuinely like bartending.
It's very tough, so if you're not enjoying it,
if you don't like this job, you wouldn't be here.
You meet people from all walks of life. Yeah, I love that.
And as long as they're nice and they're good craic,
they make your shift. Yeah. They make your shift.
But you meet some knobheads as well. Yeah!
My favourite, though, is when someone has quite clearly
got a little bit, like, awkward at the bar.
They're not quite sure what to do and they do like a, "Yoo-hoo!
"Yoo-hoo!"