♪ We're here to eat sweets and nom-noms ♪
♪ And they're gonna taste real good ♪
- We hope.
We hope. - Yeah, we hope.
- Otherwise, I'm gonna be sickus extripicus.
(laughing)
(ethereal twinkling music)
Pumpkin pasties and fizzing whizzbees and...
- Ever flavor beans.
- Bertie Botts. - Bertie Botts.
- Every flavor beans.
- The chocolate frogs.
(Tom gasps)
Yeah?
- Oh, I'd love a chocolate frog!
- Are they actually gonna be the...
- Shite.
- Fizz whizzers and fizz bangs,
all the themed candies from the show?
From the show. (laughs)
The one thing Harry Potter isn't is a show.
From the movies and the books, which I've read and watched,
and I'm a big fan of.
The show.
Good God, all the Potter fans are gonna kill me.
(upbeat whimsical music)
(gasping)
(squealing)
- Oh, my God!
Woo!
- It's weird, though, 'cause this is a frog,
yet I'm your prince.
(laughing)
- So, it comes with a trading card of a famous wizard.
- What's Ron say, he's like,
"Don't even worry about the chocolate.
Oh, hard luck.
No, but the card is what you really want."
That's what I really want, that's me!
♪ Tom Moran can't open plastic ♪
♪ He hasn't been to the gym in a month ♪
(Tom groans)
Wow.
- The famous person we have is Helga Hufflepuff.
- We got a Dumbledore.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- [Niall] It lanticulates.
Look at that.
- If we were in the universe of Harry Potter,
this would be a real version of Dumbledore
that just lives to be in this card.
- "Well, you can't expect him
to stay around all day, can you?"
- This card is kind of ruined
by everything that has TM written after it.
Founder of Hogwarts TM.
Helga Hufflepuff TM.
Hogwarts TM.
- Look at that, that is a chunky beast.
- That's not hollow. - Solid chocolate.
(tapping on chocolate)
- That's full of choc.
- Oh! (Tom laughs)
- I actually feel genuinely bad.
No chocolate frogs were harmed in the making of this video.
- That's huge.
- It is a big...
- Whoa. - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- I'm trying here.
- Yeah, take it.
- Oh! - Look at that!
- His little leg!
I feel like I'm prolonging his agony.
I can't do it!
- It tastes...
Hm.
Like cheap, shit chocolate
that people use to put into marketing products.
- This is brilliant.
- I wonder, is it Nestle, or is it Mars, or is it who,
because it tastes like an old friend
that's been away from my mouth for a while
and he's back in there again.
- If wizard chocolate was shit,
you would be so disappointed.
Like, you're magic.
You're magic and you can't make good chocolate.
But they're magic and they've made beautiful chocolate.
- It's not the best chocolate I've ever had,
but for the novelty of it.
- You're adequate, Harry.
- The dynamic duo here,
he's the cynical one and I'm the fun one!
But yeah, he's right.
This is just, isn't that right, Brian?
- The only thing you said there was that I was right.
- He's always at this.
We're best pals, we do everything together.
- Want to go for a drink later?
- Yeah, absolutely. - In different pubs.
- And his little beady eyes there.
- Little beady eyes.
- Being like, "Don't eat me.
Please, don't eat me."
Sorry, mate.
(Tom gags)
(laughing)
(upbeat whimsical music)
Jelly slugs.
- Ah, fun!
- Oh, yeah! - Woo!
These sound like they're gonna be up my alley.
- Oh, that does not look nice,
that does not look nice at all.
It looks like Play-Doh.
- Alohomora!
- The packaging looks like
Professor McGonagall's bathroom wallpaper.
- But there's 6% calcium, so you know.
- Very good.
- Throw away your glass of milk, lads,
the slugs are on the table.
- They managed to get the
(Niall groans)
disgusting look of a slug down.
- Ooh, they are a bit sluggy-like.
- No, stop! (laughs)
- Bertie's Every-Colored Snot.
(Lolsy laughs)
(sneezing)
- I need a tissue.
(laughing)
- It actually smells like Play-Doh.
- There's no flavor.
- I don't taste anything.
- I guess no one ever said slugs would be tasty.
- Oh, no, that's banana, fuck that, no way.
(groans)
It's on my hands, it's on my hands!
- All it says is soft and chewy gummy treats,
it's soft, it's chewy, it's gummy.
I'm not sure if it's a treat.
- How can that one smell so strongly of banana,
but the rest of them, none.
- It looks awful, it tastes awful.
There's no chew or texture to it,
and it has no flavor to it at all.
- Accio next thing-o!
(upbeat whimsical music)
Ooh.
Ooh!
- Queenbee Fizzing Whizzbees?
- It's chocolate that you put in your mouth
and it makes all those,
almost like pop rocks. - Pop rocks.
- Yeah.
It's chocolate that does that.
Yeah.
- Oh, my God, they're bee-shaped.
I mean, that makes sense, I'm just surprised.
I like it.
- Hmm.
- It is weird.
- It's popping candy.
- Oh, I love popping candy!
- I'm getting that... (clicks tongue)
- It's disgusting.
- It's exploding in my mouth.
- (laughs) Yeah.
- Oh, my God!
(Nicole laughs)
- It's quite loud in my head.
Actually, it's like I'm in a shed where it's raining.
It's raining on top of the shed.
(candy crackling)
- Yeah!
- It hasn't stopped, it won't stop.
Stop.
Stop! - Oh, my God.
Have they cast a spell on me?
Are there bees inside my head?
- It's literally coming out your ears.
- Oh, God, there's bees in my head!
- Yeah, it feels like there's loads of
mini whizzbee eggs hatching in my mouth.
- Okay, it stopped.
Jeez, I almost was overdramatic there.
(laughing)
- These are better than Rice Krispies,
these are more snappy, crackly
and poppier than Rice Krispies.
(upbeat whimsical music)
- Oh, cool!
- It's a jar of urine!
- No, you know what this is?
- Harry Potter's Priceless Piss!
- Felix Felicis Liquid Luck!
- Seriously, how could they make
a bottle that looks like this?
- Kind of looks like a...
- A plugger of sorts. - Yeah. (laughs)
Let's just hold it this way
and no one will know any different.
- There's a blurb, oh, no, it's just ingredients.
- It's just legal stuff.
This may cause blindness, you may have a heart attack.
(Niall laughs)
Don't drink this if you're over 70.
- Whoa-ho!
Bottoms up.
(Niall laughs)
- Oh, she's not happy.
- Mm-mm.
- I can translate that face, she's not happy.
- Why?
- It's just melted sugar.
- It's not too bad.
- Honestly, and I've had many foods in my mouth,
that's one of the weirdest things I've ever tasted,
I cannot make head nor tail of it.
- Rotten, it's raw sugar.
- I'd honestly prefer it up the other end, to be honest.
- It's like honey from a bee who was terminally ill.
(laughing)
- Maybe you put it on pancakes.
- I mean, I better be really fucking lucky now,
or that was a waste of time.
- Weapons grade garbage. - Yeah.
- There is something kind of ritualistic
to drinking from a vial.
- It's like an egg timer,
except it's over immediately 'cause it's sugar.
- How many egg timers have you sat on?
(upbeat whimsical music)
- Hey! - Yeah!
- Woo-hoo-hoo!
- This is the only one that I was actually excited for.
- Is this the ones where we get rotten flavors as well?
- Yeah, you can get ants.
- Yay! - Yeah!
This is what I came to see.
- It's like a lucky dip of potential misery.
- Bean there, done that,
has anyone made that joke yet, Colin?
- No. - No, do you know why?
'Cause it's shit.
- What's in the good end of things?
Can you tell us some of the ones you might want?
- [Colin] Green apple.
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah. - Blueberry.
- Yes. - Watermelon.
- Excellent. - Cherry.
- Delicious. - And sherbet lemon.
- Beautiful.
And maybe a little preview of
the misery that could be to come.
- Earwax. - Earwax.
- Yum.
- Soap. - Soap.
- [Colin] Rotten egg.
- Oh, no. - No, no,
that's the one I don't want.
- That's bad.
- You go in and I'll tell you what you're having, right?
- What is it?
- Yes, that's dirt.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, you like that one, yeah?
What is it, what is it?
He loves it.
It's earwax.
- Why did I get that on my first one?
- Everything I said about Harry Potter, I apologize,
this is amazing, what a product.
What a product.
- I think it's grass.
- I think it's dirt.
- Oh, yeah.
- [Colin] And I think you had bogies.
- Bogies!
- Really?
- I'm into it.
- Cinnamon.
Cinnamon!
- Oh, that's a safe one, you got blueberry.
- Black pepper.
Oh, my God, that's so like black pepper.
That is so accurate.
- That's, oh, my God, that is exactly like grass.
- That's grass!
That is grass, well done!
- That's 'cause my ancestors
had to eat grass during the famine.
- I always remember this.
Remember at the end of the Philosopher's Stone,
Dumbledore goes, "Hm.
Alas, earwax."
- Will I give earwax a go?
- I'm gonna see what the hype is about.
- Oh!
Oh, God!
- That was a mistake.
(Lolsy laughs)
- I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry,
I literally couldn't wait for the bucket,
it was fucking disgusting!
Oh, my God, give me a candyfloss.
(retches)
- So, whatever scientist designed all these
in theory had to go around eating vomit,
so they could then replicate vomit
into a vomit-flavor jelly.
That is a bad day at the office.
- Why would you buy these?
Why would you...
Why would you buy them?
- I'm gonna buy 20 boxes of these,
I'm gonna separate all the bad ones,
and repackage them and give them as gifts at Christmas,
I can't wait.
- They're so accurate.
(Nicole laughs)
They're really good.
It's really impressive.
That was a Tutti Frutti,
and I'm all tutti fruity.
- That's the only one I would recommend people buy.
- 100%.
That's good, that's actually fun, it's interesting.
- Yeah.
- It's tasty.
Edible.
- They're definitely gimmicky, but it's a good gimmick.
- If I was Harry Potter and I grew up in the muggle world,
and then I was like, "Oh, my God, I'm a wizard.
Look at all these great sweets.
They taste the same as what I'm used to."
That's not that magical, is it?
- You could have a whole supermarket
made out of Harry Potter food.
That's so rare for a book.
- I want a Butter Beer.
They always sounded so good!
- Yeah, but then, it's always that fear of
when you try the thing you always wanted
and it's not that good.
That's how I feel about earwax, you know?
(laughing)
- Thanks very much for watching, everybody,
and if you enjoyed that,
why don't you like or possibly subscribe to us?
- What would Harry Potter do?
Ask yourself that.
What would Harry Potter do?
You big muddle...
Oh, fuck.
(laughing)