Under the influence of the Catholic church,
Ireland was once known
as the biggest tight-ass in all of Europe.
But that's changed.
Electing a half-Indian, entirely gay prime minister,
legalizing gay marriage.
They even repealed their Eighth Amendment banning abortions.
But there's one longstanding tradition
the Irish aren't willing to give up so easily.
Drinking!
So I flew to Dublin to grab a few pints
with four pub regulars who know a hell of a lot about drinking.
What would you call the role
of a pub in Ireland in the local community?
It's where people can meet and have a bit of craic,
a bit of a laugh, a bit of slagging.
To the Americans watching, "craic" is a good time.
"Slagging" is ripping into each other,
to joke around with your friends.
"Slag your friend off." And what was the last one you said?
Taking the piss.
"Taking the piss" is also very similar to slagging.
How many pints would you have a day?
-Be different every day. -15 or 16.
Yeah. Roughly.
-You manage a pub. -Yeah.
Do you think that Ireland
has a particularly big drinking problem?
No, I don't think so.
Despite the objective opinion
of a pub manager who drinks 15 pints a day,
the Irish government believes
the country has a serious drinking problem.
The average drinker is consuming
about a bottle of whiskey per week.
Man: Ireland, as we all know,
has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
So politicians have proposed a new public-health law
known as the Alcohol Bill
to stomp out Ireland's abusive relationship with booze.
Health has to be literally about health.
I sat down with Alex White, the man who wrote the bill,
for a sobering conversation.
We do have a problem, and we drink too much.
You go around the corner here
and you want to get, I don't know, milk --
Will you be buying milk while you're here?
-I won't be. -Bread maybe or something?
I'll probably buy a loaf of bread.
You will actually have to pass by the alcohol in the shop.
So we want to just work out
how you segregate the products in the shop.
We want to curtail
alcohol advertising and sponsorship, too.
People can't be shown having fun?
You can't have, like, a woman in a bikini next to it?
No people.
You're not allowed to have people in the ads. No people.
Could the alcohol be put onto a beach
so that it looks like, "Ooh, that's gonna be fun"?
-I know this is tough. -It's just a beach.
There's sand and water. Sand and water.
Associating alcohol with general enjoyment
we don't think is a good idea.
So, what would be a dull-enough area
that you could put the drink in front of?
Well, I'm not gonna -- That's up to the...
Could you put it -- Could you put it in a bank?
Okay.
Ah! Here we go. The perfect Irish beer ad.
Well, that doesn't sound very fun.
I wonder how me new mates feel
about having the government all up in their bloated livers.
Do you think you need the government
to legislate to slow down your drinking?
-No. -I don't like being lectured to,
told what to do, how to behave by our government.
-Okay. -We are adults.
We do what we [bleep] want to do. It's simple as that.
Once we reach the age of 18, we do what we want to.
These [bleep] can't tell us what to do.
I say "[bleep]", as in the worst possible [bleep].
Not "You're a [bleep]." But these are [bleep].
So, to summarize,
the government won't be curbing your drinking?
All: No.
[Bleep] 'em.
When I wasn't eating, when I wasn't drinking,
when I wasn't doing things, I was miserable.
So the idea of doing things
so that you'd be medically okay --
I could be just as fit as a fiddle.
Do you want to be here for a long time,
or do you want to be here for a good time?
Noel: I want to be here for a good time, yeah.
Good time. Of course. Good time, yeah.
Could I argue with you some upsides to drinking?
It's really fun. It's really fun.
The next day's shit, right? The next day's horrible.
But, you know, then you have a few more drinks
to stop your hands shaking, and then you're back into the world of fun.
I can't argue that it's fun to go and have a drink.
I take a drink myself.
I don't think my son would be alive.
-Okay. -Yeah, I really --
I really think I wouldn't be a dad without alcohol.
Love ya, mate!
It's time to admit -- I do have a drinking problem,
and it's trying to keep up with these [bleep] guys.
[Slurring] You guys aren't feeling the alcohol at all? No.
We've had shots of whiskey. We've been downing pints.
You're the only one that's drunk here.
I feel a bit merry. I mean, you know...
It's good to be talking to you,
but, I mean, I'm delighted, basically, yeah.
-This is Pat being merry. -Yeah.
I bet you two were happy when gay marriage was passed.
[ Laughs ]
We actually populated your country, by the way, just so you know.
You populated my country?
My ancestors did. 'Cause they were criminals.
[ Laughs ]
He'd come downstairs with a bottle of whiskey and go,
"Hey, what are you doing that shit for?"
[ Flatulence ]
You farted, by the way.
I did. I just farted. But no one noticed.
'Cause I'm sitting next to him, no one will even smell it.
[ Laughter ]
I haven't smelled it.
Hold on a second. I'll cupcake it for ya.
-Anything? -No.
How about now? How about now?
Maybe there is a way
for Ireland to have its cupcake and eat it, too.
Because while getting drunk
probably isn't the healthiest choice we can make,
nothing is better at bringing people together.
When I walked into the bar,
I didn't see how beautiful you actually are.
[ Laughter ]
Give us a hug!