hey guys so I was gonna do like an about Switzerland video today I don't know I
just wasn't feeling it but I just wanted to talk to you guys about something more
real I wanted to talk to you about the the things that nobody tells you about
when you're moving abroad so this is some raw emotions for you everybody so
I'm getting to the stage where I am honestly starting to freak out a little
bit this is the biggest and the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life
this is a huge step it's a big deal and I think the beginning stage of wanting
to do this was just I think more so just being so excited and having so much
confidence because it didn't seem real but now that I'm literally looking at
what how much time I have left I have two weekends left in Arizona one weekend
left when I'm in LA waiting to leave and then that's it I have three weekends
left in America and that is scary that makes it so real I think because for
quite a while it was like oh yeah I'm moving in three months okay yeah I'm
moving in two months okay yeah I'm not moving and I still
have 50 days okay it's 40 days now oh I'm moving in a month
now it's less than a month it is 20 days to be exact and I think also as I'm
emptying out my house and getting rid of everything it's starting to sink in so I
think what a lot of youtubers on here don't talk about is the real emotions
that you go through when moving and preparing to move to a completely
different country I have watched a ton of videos which is have been a really
great help and confident boost and motivation for this whole thing but yeah
nobody really talked about this you are going to maybe have a slight mental
breakdown I laugh but it's not funny it's serious you are you are and I think
I'm going through that like the past couple days I felt like really down and
I'm just like why do I feel down like why like it's like borderline feeling
depressed but I think it's just some anxiety and I think an anxiety affects
everybody differently and I think for me when I have anxiety I don't have like
this crazy attack where I'm like hyperventilating I just feel down and
kind of withdrawn and kind of just mopey then that's how I felt the past couple
of days yeah I'm kind of freaking out I think my biggest fear is I think I'm
lying to myself actually about my biggest fear the lie that I was telling
myself is that I I'm afraid that I won't make it that I
won't find a job that I won't like be able to get an apartment like that's the
lie that I'm telling myself but deep down like now that I think about it more
I'm just afraid that I'm not gonna be happy that's what I'm afraid of
because the big reason I am moving away from America is because I'm not happy
here I'm not happy I wasn't happy in my job I wasn't happy in relationships I
wasn't happy in this city I didn't like the city and in like the state and then
like just wasn't happy I'm hoping to find a sense of happiness being in
Switzerland and I know that's not what I'm doing I'm not like running away from
problems I'm not like looking for Switzerland to make me happy I'm more so
thinking that me making this courageous move for myself and me doing this on my
own and me finding a job finding an apartment me making all those
accomplishments and being successful in this move will make me happy because
it'll be like wow like this is an amazing thing that you just did and I'll
just be super proud of myself and that will just make me happier on the in so I
think that's my biggest fear that yeah I might accomplish everything like
that but then I'm just end up not being happy like what if I hate such land what
if I need people what do people hate me what if I experience racism what if you
know racism is worse there than it is here what if I think there's a lot of
what else running through my head right now and it's kind of
putting a damper on my excitement so yeah that's like the biggest thing it's
the fear of the unknown that is so scary and you know even me saying this it
might not make much sense to you guys you might not understand why I am having
this like moment of anxiety but it's scary the fear of the unknown I don't
know what's gonna happen I just don't know when you're in your country of
origin everything feels like you know what to do what not to do you know the
laws you know what to expect you know nothing even going to a different state
in your country of origin isn't like this huge deal because overall you kind
of understand what's going on and it feels safe that you know and that you're
comfortable stepping outside of your comfort zone is always scary so that is
really starting to scare me a lot I'm just hoping that I break through this I
know that this is just a phase yeah I wasn't prepared for the emotions
honestly I'll be completely honest I was moreso preparing myself physically for
my move packing getting documents together finding jobs finding housing
but I forgot that this is going to be very emotional yeah I don't want to talk
your ears off but I don't know I think that not a lot of people open up about
this part of doing anything great you know but you need to just
not everything is easy not everything that glitters is gold I know that I look
pretty happy and excited 95% of the time but in all reality I am shitting bricks
on the inside I am pretty good at putting a smile on through any situation
that's just something that I've been pretty good at so I just wanted to show
you the real me in the moment as it is I am pretty down freaking out but on a
more happy note I almost have 50 subscribers that's a small milestone but
it's pretty cool I know that I'm not gonna get like YouTube famous or
anything like that you know it's not gonna happen but I just thought it was
pretty cool so I want to do a celebration I want to do a giveaway so
if you have not subscribed please subscribe so I can get 250 subscribers
I'm only eight away you have a huge chance of winning there's only 50 of you
so I'm choosing one out of 50 you have a great chance of winning
subscribe comment below if you want to alright bye