- [Pear] Hey hey what's up guys?
It's Pear the most extreme gamer of all time
playing some Happy Wheels.
Again.
Cause you guys won't leave me alone about it.
I know that you guys like Happy Wheels
and I'm all for one pleasing you
and you know playing Happy Wheels.
So let's go.
Alright well this is nice.
This is just a pleasant ride.
Uh-oh.
No, no!
Oh no.
My spine.
Maybe if I go backwards ... what's this?
(yelling)
(laughing)
I believe I am pate that,
I believe that would be what you would call me.
Oh no crap!
My son has just been destroyed.
Who's paying for this bicycle?
Beyond that who's paying for my medical bills?
I don't wanna ... whoa get away!
Oh I'm flirting with danger here.
Okay, let's make the big jump, the big jump.
Oh yes, okay it just made a bridge.
Finally.
I can just cruise right through now.
Alright now we're good, now we're good.
I'm totally all about this.
Whoa what's happening?
Oh okay that opened up that.
And there we go, what's this guy ...
Hey!
What are you doing, you just flipped my son
off the bike!
Now I'm left with a leg by itself that's okay ...
Well I guess I can pedal without legs that's fine.
Um well I guess you know if I can hold things
without having arms, then I guess we can,
you know I can ride a bike with just a stump.
What do I do now?
I'm stuck down here with the butt-touching robot.
He did, he just touched my son's butt and he fell right off.
Orange would be loving this right now.
- [Orange] Hey hey,
did someone say I'd be loving this right now?
- [Pear] No, no way.
(laughing)
- [Orange] What happened, what happened?
- [Pear] See you distracted me.
Well that robot was touching my butt.
- [Orange] He's a butt toucher?
- [Pear] He flipped my
son right off the bike and he died.
- [Orange] You like the butt touching.
- [Pear] No, I didn't, no.
This is why I didn't want you
to come over here while I'm playing.
- [Orange] Okay, are you gonna create
the Gorilla Paradise or what, Pear?
- [Pear] No.
- [Orange] You're not, why?
- [Pear] No.
I don't want to play that level.
Okay, stop it.
- [Orange] Pogoventure. - Yes.
- [Orange] That sounds amazing.
- [Pear] I'm going to play Pogo Adventure.
- [Orange] You mean Pogoventure?
- [Pear] Yes, okay.
Oh, I think I'm going the wrong way.
- [Orange] Where are you going?
- [Pear] Oh hey, I got some air on that one.
- [Orange] You need some air.
- [Pear] Yeah, look at Pear.
He's getting extreme.
- [Orange] You might be overstating things, Pear.
- [Pear] No way, man, I am an extreme gamer.
- [Orange] Yeah, extremely lame.
- [Pear] Hey. (Orange laughs maniacally)
That's not what I said.
Yee haw, all right, did you see that jump?
That was extreme jumping right there.
- [Orange] Yeah, yeah, it was very, very exciting, Pear.
- [Pear] It is, it is, I know.
The pogo stick is the most extreme form
of transportation of all time.
Did you know that, Orange?
- [Orange] Actually, I have to disagree with you.
The pogo stick is one of the lamest forms
of transportation of all time.
- [Pear] Said no one ever, ha.
- [Orange] Pear, stop it.
- [Pear] You see that flip?
I totally did a flip.
- [Orange] If you don't knock it off,
I'm going to flip you off.
- [Pear] Hey. (Orange laughs)
Now, this is, you know, it's not many days
out of your life that you get to watch
and witness someone playing some extreme gamage.
- [Orange] You're trying too hard, Pear.
- [Pear] No way, man.
You know, the rumor out there is that
I am boring, but I am just out there to prove
that I am not boring.
- [Orange] Yeah.
- [Pear] So that's what I'm doing.
I'm playing this level.
Look how extreme it is.
- [Orange] Yeah.
- [Pear] Proves that I'm not boring.
- [Orange] Yeah, it's really extreme, Pear.
- [Pear] I know.
- [Orange] Yeah, I'm definitely not filled with sarcasm
right now.
- [Pear] Good, because you would be totally wrong...
Uh, oh no, I fell in, okay.
- [Orange] What happened?
- [Pear] I thought I fell in a monkey hole.
- [Orange] A monkey hole?
- [Pear] I thought I did.
- [Orange] What?
- [Pear] I thought monkeys were going to eat my face.
But I'm okay, I beat the level.
Check that out.
- [Orange] Now we need to go back
to this whole thing.
What's a monkey hole?
- [Pear] A monkey hole, that's where killer monkeys are.
You fall in and they eat your face.
- [Orange] No, no.
- [Pear] Yeah, I'm extreme gamer, I've seen it
a billion times.
- [Orange] That's not a thing, Pear.
That's totally not a thing.
- [Pear] All right, we're going for Wipeout.
Whoa, yeah.
Oh, shoot, I dropped my mayonnaise.
- [Orange] What are you gonna put on your sandwiches now?
- [Pear] I think there's still some root beer in here.
Yeah, or--
- [Orange] (laughs) Root beer sandwiches.
- [Pear] Some good ol' root beer sandwiches.
Those are great. - (laugh) those are delicious.
- [Pear] I make 'em all the time.
- [Orange] They do have the tendency to get
a little soggy though.
- [Pear] Yeah, I know, I totally understand,
that's why you're supposed to put 'em
in a bowl.
- [Orange] Oh, that's, okay, so you eat
your root beer sandwiches in a bowl with a spoon.
- [Pear] Yeah.
- [Orange] That's the best way to eat root beer sandwiches.
- [Pear] Exactly, although, I'm sure
there might be many other ways that people might eat...
- [Orange] Ah.
- [Pear] (laughing) Oh no.
- [Orange] Uh-oh.
- [Pear] Oh, oh, that's not where spikes go.
- [Orange] Back of the butt.
- [Pear] Definitely don't want to put those there.
- [Orange] Spikes in the butt
- [Pear] I quit that level.
That was terrible. - Why?
You should play it again, that was just getting good.
- [Pear] Uh-uh, it was getting super boring.
- [Orange] Right, whatever, anyways,
you were saying something.
What were you saying?
- [Pear] Oh, I was saying the audience
should let us know in the comments below,
how they eat their root beer sandwiches.
- [Orange] Oh, Timmy.
- [Pear] Oh no. - Timmy!
- [Pear] I lost my son and I exploded.
- [Orange] Timmy is gone.
- [Pear] I think we're going to need to send out
a search team for my son.
- [Orange] I'm pretty sure he got eaten
by a yeti, Pear.
- [Pear] Yeah, as if this game wasn't brutal enough.
- [Orange] Hey, you're the one that couldn't
stick the landing.
- [Pear] Okay, we're gonna get it this time.
Here we go!
- [Both] Oh no.
- [Pear] He's gone forever.
- [Orange] You are the worst father of all time.
Oh, now you're the most exploded father of all...
Hey, you found your son.
- [Pear] Yeah, there he is.
We don't have to send out a search party now.
He's fine. - Exactly.
- [Pear] He was just taking a nap.
- [Orange] Yeah, just sleepy time.
Sleepy time Timmy.
- [Pear] Okay, we're gonna get it this time.
Here we go.
Building up speed.
Going to hit this ramp and gonna get it.
- [Both] Oh!
- [Pear] No!
Oh!
- [Orange] He exploded.
- [Pear] Oh, that was terrible.
There's blood and guts everywhere.
- [Orange] Does anybody have a Roomba?
(Pear laughs)
A Roomba that cleans up dead bodies.
- [Pear] I don't think that's a thing.
- [Orange] Can we make that a thing?
- [Pear] No, I don't think we can make that a thing.
Although you do have a million dollar idea right there.
- [Orange] Oh! - Are you kidding?
Well, I guess I was just streamlining
the whole process.
- [Orange] I guess he was probably just dead weight.
Hey, you made it. - Yeah I did.
- [Orange] He was dead weight.
- [Pear] Oh. - Okay, nevermind.
- [Pear] Crap.
- [Orange] And now you fall to your death.
- [Pear] Hey, I'm still alive.
Oh, well I didn't need that leg.
It's gone. - It's irrelevant.
I's an irrelevant leg.
You only need one leg. - Exactly.
- [Orange] Keep on moving.
- [Pear] Irrelevant leg.
- [Orange] Wow, that's a giant star.
Oh, what happened? - Whoa, whoa.
[Orange] You're losing all your limbs.
- [Pear] It's not my fault, I'm falling apart.
- [Orange] What are you doing?
- [Pear] Oh ho ho ho, no.
- [Orange] Oh, cartwheels of destruction.
- [Pear] What am I doing?
- [Orange] Cartwheels of self-mutilation.
That's what, that's what that level should be called.
- [Pear] Okay, I agree with you.
Let's do Viking Revenge-- - Wow!
- [Pear] Are you kidding me?
- [Orange] Did you just get crushed by Thor's hammer
times two?
- [Pear] I don't even know.
All I know is that it hurt just watching it.
- [Orange] Yeah, so it's kind of like watching, The View.
(both laugh)
- [Pear] That's pretty good.
Oh no! - Oh (laughs).
- Oh ho ho, oh ho ho, whoa.
- [Orange] That was brutal.
- [Pear] Oh, okay.
- [Orange] Don't do that again, Pear.
- [Pear] Yeah, let's not do that again.
- [Orange] You're really gearing up
for some destruction.
- [Pear] Yeah, too soon, dude, too soon.
- [Orange] What, you're still alive.
Don't worry about it, you're fine.
You're fine.
Okay, just go up here. - Gotta go up here.
- [Orange] And go over there.
- [Pear] Yep, yeah, oh shoot.
- [Orange] You lost your hat.
What are you going to do without your...
Oh, man, see, if you would've had your hat.
- [Pear] Oh crap, wow.
- [Orange] If you would've had your hat
it would've protected your head and you wouldn't have died.
- [Pear] I'm pretty sure a fedora wasn't going to stop that.
Okay, we're going to do King of pop.
- [Orange] You mean soda pop?
- [Paar] I honestly don't know because I've never
played this level before.
- [Orange] Pick the lawnmower guy.
- [Pear] No, I don't want to pick that.
- [Orange] Pick the lawnmower guy.
- No, stop it.
- [Orange] There he is, you missed him.
- [Pear] Let me just pick the guy I want, yeah.
Oh yeah, definitely this guy.
- [Orange] Ah, lawnmower guy would've been way better.
Whoa!
- [Pear] I'm digging this guy.
- [Orange] Oh, there's not very much room.
Oh no!
- [Pear] Hey, there's Michael Jackson.
♫ Watch out, there's a helicopter
♫ Helicopter
Oh no.
- [Pear] I can really do without the singing.
♫ You've been hit by
♫ You've been struck by
♫ A smooth helicopter
Oh crap, look out.
Oh. (laughs)
- [Pear] Oh no, oh.
(Orange laughs maniacally)
What the heck?
Did Michael Jackson just shoot me?
- [Orange] I think he did.
I think you deserved it, Pear.
You were rolling all up on his dance moves
and he probably got angry.
- [Pear] Well he was in the way.
- [Orange] Oh, you're going to try it again.
Okay, let's do it.
- [Pear] Yeah, I'm going to try it again.
All right, let's see.
Maybe I just want to float above
when he shoots at me.
- [Orange] Oh no.
- [Pear] Oh crap.
- [Orange] What did you do, Pear?
You broke it.
- [Pear] Oh, I'm a sittin' duck.
I'm a sittin' duck.
What do I do?
- [Orange] This is why we can't have nice things, Pear.
Oh no.
Oh, geez. (Orange laughs)
- That's a lot of blood.
- [Orange] There definitely will be blood, Pear,
on the floor (snickers).
- [Pear] Yeah, real funny, okay.
I think we're done with Happy Wheels for the day,
because I am, that's enough.
- [Orange] You must be so done.
You can't even complete a sentence.
- [Pear] Well, did you just see?
I just got shot 800 times by Michael Jackson
and my intestines were all over the ground.
- [Orange] So it's like a real life visit
to Neverland Ranch then.
- [Pear] No. (Orange laughs)
I'm pretty sure that never happened.
All right.
Make sure to hit that like and subscribe buttons, guys.
Leave us a comment.
- [Orange] What about?
- [Pear] About hamburgers.
- [Orange] How original.
- [Pear] Shut it.
- [Orange] Shut your mouth.
- [Pear] Stop it.
(Orange laughs)
All right, later guys.
- [Orange] Later, hot potatoes.
I will collect all the chicken coins
and they will be mine, oh wah wah wah, I almost got hit.
I almost got hit with a chicken butt.
Chicken butt, guess what?
Chicken butt, oh no.
I just now hit it.
What did I win?
I didn't win anything that time.
Oh this game is horrible
and then it didn't make me win anything.