Having common interests with your spouse is one of the most important things to have in
a successful marriage.
But sometimes, your hobbies and interests can differ, and this can form a rift between
you two.
It’s important that you’re always trying to find common activities that you both can
love and share together… and in this video, I’ll help you brainstorm some ideas that
will ensure you find those activities!
Hi, my name is Brad Browning and welcome to my YouTube channel.
I’m a marriage coach from Vancouver, Canada!
I’ve now been studying and teaching marriage psychology for over 10 years now, and I’ve
personally saved thousands of marriages.
But enough about me, let’s jump right into it.
Many people seem to think that a husband and wife are going to have the same interests,
but that just isn’t true.
In fact, it's a common theme for many married couples to have completely opposite interests.
For example, he likes to do "guy stuff," like watch sports or play video games.
She likes "girly stuff," like scrapbooking or baking.
When it comes to movies, he's a fan of action packed thrillers, while she loves romantic
comedies.
And so on.
Certainly, some of these activities speak to the natural differences between males and
females, and there's nothing wrong with husbands and wives having different interests based
on their unique personalities and experiences.
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that you should have to be a chameleon to
your partner’s interests.
At the same time, you don’t want to let your interests veer too far.
When husbands and wives get too caught up in "doing their own thing," they are missing
out on critical opportunities to connect with each other.
In fact, developing common interests and hobbies can not only decrease conflict in a marriage,
but it will also strengthen the idea that you and your spouse are a team.
As a result of having common hobbies, couples can deepen their sense of intimacy, connection,
and especially friendship.
Here are four ways you can find some common interests with your spouse.
Begin by sitting down together and brainstorming about the different things you have in common.
As you and your spouse go through idea after idea, try to narrow down a few important factors.
For example:
Does your partner prefer physical or mental challenges?
Are there any pastimes they would like to avoid?
What were some of their favourite hobbies as a child?
What hobby would they take on if time and money were not factors?
The point here is to get to the core of your partner’s interests.
However, if hours pass and you still can’t come up with or agree on anything that interests
both of you, don’t panic, you will get there.
Still, if nothing new comes to mind, then try looking at each other’s current interests.
Do any of these sound appealing to either of you?
Maybe your partner’s ultimate frisbee league always sounded interesting, but it’s something
you’ve never tried yourself.
Give it a go and see if you like it; you won’t know until you try it, and you might even
discover the perfect couple’s activity for you to share.
If you’re sitting there thinking, “Brad, I already know that me and my partner have
no common interests!” then try this out.
Make a list of all the things you both might like, but neither of you have ever tried.
Don’t limit yourself to physical activities either, and think outside the box to keep
your options open.
For example, maybe daily crossword puzzles are something you would enjoy doing as a team,
or volunteering in your community.
Perhaps you could come up with a remodeling project to do together, or introduce each
other to your favourite television series.
Try taking a class and learning a new skill or learning a new language.
Your options really are limitless, and who knows, maybe your new found interests will
became a life passion for you both.
Since we are trying to turn the focus from "his interests" and "her interests" to create
a new category called “our interests,” it’s important to keep communication flowing.
Once you have discovered a common interest or two, talk about your experiences.
Did you both have a good time?
What did you learn about each other?
How did it make you feel?
Did it help you think of another new activity you’d like to try?
When talking about your time spent together, keep your responses positive and uplifting.
If you are interested in learning some techniques on how to reconnect or better communicate
with your spouse, feel free to visit my website, marriageguy.com… up on there you’ll find
a full length video guide on improving your relationship and preventing the decline of
your marriage.
While you’re exploring new ideas and potential interests it’s important that you don't
hate on it until you've tried it.
Ladies, there are plenty of women who love softball, and men, there are a ton of guys
who appreciate gardening.
Some of your spouse’s suggestions may sound unpleasant, but again, you’ll never know
until you try it out.
No matter how long it takes you to find some interests that you both enjoy, do not give
up.
Keep trying new activities, and don’t settle on what your spouse wants to do.
It’s important that you find something that you both enjoy so that you’ll want to spend
more quality time together doing it together.
If you have other suggestions on how to find new common interests with your partner I’d
love to hear them.
Please share your ideas in the comments below and I’ll try my best to respond to each
of you.
I hope that you enjoyed my video, and if you’d like to show your support by following my
YouTube channel it would be much appreciated.
By the way, I also offer 1-on-1 marriage coaching to a select number of clients, and you can
learn more about that at MarriageGuy.com/coaching.
If you’re interested and signing up and you see that I have room, then register right
away because, believe me, I am ALWAYS full.
Again, the URL for that is MarriageGuy.com/coaching.
As always thanks so much for watching, and until next time, take care, and good luck!