Are you ready? -Yeah. Wow.
[ Laughter ]
[ Sax-A-Boom plays ]
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, mother [bleep].
[ Sax-A-Boom plays ]
One, two, three, four!
[ Sax-A-Boom plays ]
♪♪
[ The Roots join ]
♪♪
-That is how you do it right there, everybody!
That is Jack Black!
♪♪
[ Amp buzzing ]
♪♪
-♪ Saying "I love you" ♪
♪ Is not the words I want to hear from you ♪
♪ It's not that I want you ♪
♪ Not to say but if you only knew ♪
♪ How easy ♪
♪ It would be to show me how you feel ♪
-♪ More than words ♪
♪ Is all you have to do to make it real ♪
♪ Then you wouldn't have to say ♪
♪ That you love me ♪
♪ 'Cause I'd already know ♪
-♪ What would you do ♪
♪ If my heart was torn in two? ♪
-♪ More than words to show you feel ♪
♪ That your love for me is real ♪
-♪ What would you say ♪
♪ If I took those words away? ♪
-♪ Then you couldn't make things new ♪
♪ Just by saying "I love you" ♪
♪ La-di-da, da-di-da ♪
♪ Di-dai-dai-da ♪
♪ More than words ♪
♪ La-di-da, da-di-da ♪
-♪ Now that I've tried to ♪
-♪ Talk to you and make you understand ♪
♪ All you have to do ♪
♪ Is close your eyes ♪
♪ And just reach out your hands ♪
♪ And touch me ♪
♪ Hold me close ♪
-♪ Don't ever let me go ♪
-♪ More than words ♪
♪ Is all I ever needed you to show ♪
♪ Then you wouldn't have to say ♪
♪ That you love me ♪
♪ 'Cause I'd already know ♪
♪ La-di-da, da-di-da ♪
♪ Di-dai-dai-da ♪
♪ More than words ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-We can preview some scenes for the audience
by acting them out together. -That's a horrible idea!
-Now, here's the -- Well, here's the catch.
The scenes we'll be reading are not from the actual movie.
Instead they were all written by kids.
We gave them no direction,
just the title "The House with a Clock in Its Walls,"
and let them do the rest.
It is time for Kid Theater. Here we go.
-♪ Kid Theater ♪
♪ Kid Theater ♪
-[ Clears throat ] -[ Clears throat ]
-This is for you. -Thank you.
-You'll be reading. All right, here.
Welcome to the stage.
This first one is from Jane. She is 10 years old.
Jack, you'll be playing the role of Cindy,
and I'll be playing the role of Lizzie.
Higgins will read the scene description for us.
Higgins, please set the scene.
-Cindy and Lizzie are BFFs.
Lizzie's petting her cat, Leo.
-[ High-pitched ] Hey, Lizzie. What is your cat Leo thinking?
-[ Valley Girl accent ] I have no clue.
I wish I could speak the cat language.
[ Laughter ] -That would amaze everyone
we know and even new people we just met.
Wait! Did I tell you we have a clock in our wall at home?
-Seriously? [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. And guess what?
One of its arms moves like this.
[ Laughter ]
And the other moves like this.
[ Laughter ]
-You totally just looked like you were dancing.
-I wouldn't know because when I look out with my eyes,
I see you.
[ Laughter ]
-Makes sense. Here, I'll show you again.
Bye, Leo. [ Laughter ]
-Lizzie tosses her cat Leo and then does the weird clock dance.
-What?! Are you kidding me?!
It totally looked like you were dancing!
Let's do it together.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Cindy and Lizzie danced for 10 months straight
and missed the whole year of school.
-Whoa! It looks like summer's here.
-[ Chuckles ] Let's dance!
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
And scene.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Uh, scene two, here we go. This is for you.
-Thank you.
-This one here is sent in by Elijah.
He is 9 years old.
For this one, I'll play the role of Michael.
And, Jack, this time you'll be playing the character Elijah.
Okay? Higgins, please.
-Michael and Elijah are in the same grade.
They are in Elijah's house.
It's brand-new, but kind of weird.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-Your house is...different.
-I don't know if it is.
My dad picked it out of a catalog, and now we live here.
[ Laughter ]
You wanna make some sandwiches?
[ Laughter ]
-Only if you got pickles.
[ Laughter ]
-Elijah and Michael open a secret door in his floor
and they jump down to the kitchen.
The hunt for the pickles begins.
[ Laughter ]
-Where are the pickles?
-Stop asking me about pickles!
-Oh, hey. That clock over there isn't moving.
Is it dead?
[ Laughter ]
-Sometimes.
But when the clock starts, the gears turn red
and the clock speeds up.
And then we see images of toilets.
[ Laughter ]
Then ghost pirates on toilets playing guitars.
But then if you ever interfered with the clock,
it would cause the whole Earth to turn into toilets.
And then we would suffer with toilet drinking monkeys.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Stop talking for so long, you stupid idiot.
[ Laughter ]
-Sorry. I forgot. What were we even talking about?
-Pickles!
-I said stop asking me about pickles!
[ Cheers and applause ] -And scene.
♪♪
-All right. Let's do one more.
Uno más.
This one was sent in by Jaden, who is also nine.
I'll be playing Clock 1.
Jack, you'll be playing the role of Clock 2.
[ Laughter ]
Higgins, please set the scene.
-There are two clocks on the wall.
The clocks are close to each other.
Like really close.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-I'm so sick of being a clock.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. I can't even see what time it is.
[ Laughter ]
-You could just read my forehead.
[ Laughter ]
-Are you sure? That's really weird and personal.
[ Laughter ]
-Dude, just read it.
-Mmm, no.
[ Laughter ]
-Fine.
-Clock one sticks out his tongue and waves it around.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Wow.
-You don't have to be so rude about it.
I can't even stand you. Just shush!
Shush! Shush it!
Shush it right now!
[ Laughter ]
-No, I won't.
Instead, let's sing a rap.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
♪ Yo, it's Clock Boi, I'm here on ya block ♪
♪ Trying to get out of this clock ♪
-♪ But I can't move, stiff as a rock ♪
♪ You're stuck, too, so don't try to mock -- me ♪
[ Laughter ]
-♪ I'm gonna get out and go free ♪
♪ Gotta get out of this wall, wall ♪
-♪ So we can hang with the friends at the mall, mall ♪
♪ Meet some guy named Paul, Paul ♪
-♪ And that's all, all ♪
Bam!
And scene, right now!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you to our kid playwrights.
Thank you to Jack Black.
Check out "The House with a Clock in Its Walls,"
opening everywhere tomorrow!
Ahh! Love you.
[ Speaking indistinctly ]
You are the greatest. Always.
-We have kids now. -Isn't that crazy?
-We're grown-up adults that wear suits
and have children and the whole thing.
-And what is the 6-year-old into?
-Tommy. Right now his thing is martial arts.
He really loves --
Young Ninjas is the name of the class.
The only thing is, it seems like all they teach him
is how to injure me. -Yeah.
-And now he literally jumps out and surprises me.
I have to be on guard at all times.
He's like Cato. Did you ever see "Pink Panther"?
-Yeah. "Pink Panther."
-He'll leap out and attack my genitals. Whip-ch!
And I actually -- It got serious.
And I had to have a sit-down and have a talk with them
and say, "You know, you can't use your powers
of martial arts --
Only when your life is in danger.
You can't do this against normal people."
-Yeah. -And he kind of got it.
But I want to show you -- Can I show you real quick?
-You have video of him? -Because just imagine
that dude coming at you and attacking your testicles.
[ Laughter ]
-Hyah! [ Laughs ]
-That's Tommy, dude.
-That is a good kid right there.
That is a cool kid right there. Oh, my gosh. He's going for it.
-Yeah, don't mess with me.
I will unleash the Tommy on you guys.
-And the older one is 8? -Sammy. Sammy is 8.
-What's Sammy into now?
-Sammy's super into apps.
-Oh, yeah.
-And I know -- I can feel everyone's judging me right now
because, yeah, I'm a bad father.
He plays a lot of iPad and --
But that's only partially true.
I make up for it in other ways.
But he loves this one game he just discovered.
And the thing is, they get you because
it's like the app is for free.
But then I'm just checking my e-mails one day,
and there's 30 e-mails of, like, receipts for this app,
and it's in-app purchases where they get you.
It's this dumb game where you got, like, monsters and stuff,
and every monster, you got to buy it,
and you need to buy, like, diamonds and jewels.
And it costs 99 cents for a diamond.
But, of course, my boy, he doesn't know.
He's just like, "I'm going to get the big sack of diamonds."
It's a hundred bucks a throw. A hundred bucks!
This game is designed for children.
It's marketed to children.
And then there's a $100 thing in-app?!
And there's 30 -- Okay, do the math.
There's like 30 receipts on my computer.
So it's like -- It's over -- It's well over --
It's like 3,000 mother lovin' dollars.
And I have a sit-down. I take Sammy. I sit him down.
I say, "Sammy, you got to understand that money is real.
And even though Daddy makes money in movies,
if you spend $3,000 a day on apps,
I can't -- We're not going to live here anymore."
And I took off the, you know, in-app purchases on the iPad.
And I e-mailed the people
and I said this is not responsible.
And I think they're going to give me a refund,
thanks to being on this show
and telling them to give me a refund.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪