Nick Toons have given us a ton of memorable villains.
But back in the 90’s, many of Nickelodeon’s villains were little more than businessmen
or annoyances - but they still remain memorable for their crimes and schemes.
But if we were to drag them each into a courtroom, what would be the ideal punishments for their
crimes?
That’s what we want to figure out today.
I’m Kifinosi with WickedBinge and this is Sentencing 90’s Nicktoons Villains for Their
Crimes.
The shows we’ll be discussing today are Rocko’s Modern Life, Spongebob, CatDog and
Hey Arnold!
So, with that out of the way we can get started by discussing the best look at life from the
90’s, Rocko’s Modern Life.
The first criminal we’ll be discussing is Earl.
Earl is a bulldog that exists in the periphery of the show, mostly just for jokes.
Unlike many of the other animals in the show, he doesn’t seem to be nearly as conscious,
meaning, much like Pluto from the Mickey Mouse universe, he might just be a different species
entirely.
Earl’s main crime is that of continuous and repeated assaults, where he mauls pretty
much everyone under the sun.
If he was a humanoid, he’d be getting a punishment of prison for many years, however,
due to being a dog, more likely than not, he would be euthanized, as most vicious and
violent dogs do if they end up biting people.
CRIMES: Assault, Mauling PUNISHMENT: Euthanization
Next on our list is Mr. Dupette, who is not a criminal in the typical sense.
He has plenty of interesting things he’s done, but in terms of criminality he only
has a couple to speak of.
Dupette leads Conglom-O a company, which is known for putting out popular cartoons and
tv shows.
He’s not that bad of a guy in the long run, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a criminal,
with his crimes mostly being corporate in nature.
The first being verbal abuse, which is usually aimed at his own employees, which would also
fall under employee abuse.
However, his biggest crimes are Fraud and Faking Bankruptcy, during the 2019 netflix
movie, Rocko’s Modern Life: Static Cling.
Although Duppete is rich and could possibly pay his way out, in a perfect world he would
be hit with heavy fines followed by 3 years in prison.
However, it’s unlikely that Dupette would face charges, especially after being launched
into space.
CRIMES: Fraud, Assault PUNISHMENT: 3 years in prison & fines
Rounding out the Rocko characters and last up on our docket is Ed Bighead.
Ed is the patriarch of the Bighead family, who live next to Rocko.
Ed doesn’t care very much for Rocko and as such has committed a few crimes in his
time.
Ed’s most common crime is that of Verbal Assault as he does this to just about everyone
he meets, especially Rocko.
He’s committed Criminal Conspiracy at times, usually for smaller crimes, but on occasion
he conspires to commit one of the most heinous crimes in a down-to-earth show like this;
Attempted Murder.
Now, Ed’s attempted murder was just that, an attempt… but it happened quite often,
trying to take the lives of his neighbors at almost any opportunity.
Due to Ed’s continued attempts on the lives of his neighbors, he would have to give him
the punishment of 25 years in prison.
CRIMES: Assault, Attempted Murder PUNISHMENT: 25 Years In Prison
Coming next on the list are the criminals from the second series on our list, CatDog.
Catdog doesn’t have much in terms of villains, but the first villains on our docket is none
other than The Greaser Dogs.
These three Dogs, Cliff, Shriek and Lube are recurring villains who appear throughout the
show.
These three dogs have a few different crimes under their belt that would put them behind
bars for quite some time.
The first of these is verbal and physical assault which they usually aim towards Catdog.
Alongside this, is abuse and harassment which they aim towards everyone but especially against
the titular Catdog and their mouse friend Winslow.
They assault almost anyone in their path, but what really brings them up is their thievery
and hate crimes, which are usually aimed at Catdog, in fact almost all of these crimes
are aimed at Catdog which plays into their harassment charge we talked about earlier.
The three of them are sometimes implied to be working for someone else like Rancid Rabbit,
but that doesn’t get them off the hook.
In fact, we sentence them to a prison for 10 (dog) years.
However, these three may be bankrolled by Rabbit to get out of the prison system, but
without his hands in the system, they wouldn’t get very far.
CRIMES: Assault, Harassment PUNISHMENT: 10 (Dog) Years In Prison
The only other criminal we’ll be dissecting from this show is the main villain of the
show Rancid Rabbit.
Rancid Rabbit is a weird character because he doesn’t actually seem to be a man with
a solid job, but always having a high level of power about Catdog.
Whether he is the manager of a Taco Shop or the President and Mayor of various locations
across the world.
WIth these positions of power, comes abuse, and he abuses his power at almost every opportunity.
Whether he is using his power to unlawfully arrest those who don’t deserve it, or physically
abusing them and getting away with it.
His list of crimes are quite long, amongst them are heinous things like Slavery and Torture,
which are just the tip of the iceberg.
Sure, he’s never murdered anyone, but with Unlawful Imprisonment, Abuse of Power, and
Unfair Punishments being some of the lesser crimes on his docket.
Of the many crimes he’s committed, Rabbit’s punishment would be life in prison.
CRIMES: Slavery, Torture, Abuse of Power PUNISHMENT: Life in Prison
But now we have a pretty big cast of criminals to go through as we tackle the vile villains
amongst the cast of Hey Arnold!
The first criminal on the docket is none other than the villain of the film, Alphonse Perrier
du von Schneck.
Schneck is the owner of a massive company who wants to take out and own a massive chunk
of land that’s important to the main cast.
He’s a massive prick with a massive list of crimes under his belt.
Amongst them are Arson, Embezzlement, Conspiracy and Fraud, all of which are horrible crimes
but just the start of what are many heinous crimes.
He’s commited crimes of Corruption, Brainwashing and even Treason.
However, his worst and most heinous of crimes is attempted child murder, sure, he has a
few of these under his belt, both attempted adult and child murder show that he’s willing
to do anything to get what he wants.
Schneck is a terrible person and a massive criminal and makes for a great villain.
Because of his crimes we’ve ordered that Schneck would be sentenced to life in prison
with no chance at parole and the only reason he’d avoid execution is because none of
his murder attempts were successful.
CRIMES: Corruption, Treason, Conspiracy, Arson, Fraud
PUNISHMENT: Life in Prison (No Parole)
To a much smaller criminal we have none other than Big Bob Pataki.
Bob is Helga’s father and a powerhouse in his business even if it’s a bit out of fashion
in today’s day and age.
However, Big Bob is still a criminal by most standards, having only a few crimes under
his belt.
He has three crimes under his belt, Child Abuse, Child Neglect and Assault, each of
which are terrible and should at the very least get the man’s children taken away
from him.
He neglects Helga almost entirely, only speaking to her on a few notable occasions.
He’s also abusive towards his family on a few occasions, although this is seen less
often than the aforementioned neglect.
We believe that Bob should be sentenced to mandatory family therapy; as well as community
service before having his kids returned to him.
CRIMES: Child Neglect & Verbal Abuse PUNISHMENT: Mandatory Therapy and Community
Service
From one Helga villain to another, next up we have “Curly”..
Curly is a child who is amongst the many children who goes to school with Arnold and Helga.
Curly however, despite his young age has already gotten a massive amount of crimes under his
belt.
Amongst them are Assault, Blackmail, Burglary and Harassment.
He constantly harasses Helga and Rhonda.
Curly does usually get his comeuppance from Helga, but that’s still a crime.
He also has committed acts of theft, vandalism and public endangerment with the other children
in the class, and is one of the most criminally minded children in the show.
However, beyond his harassment of Helga, it’s also implied he’s committed acts of animal
cruelty which shows that Curly might be a bit sociopathic which doesn’t bode well
for his adult life.
Curly’s punishment would be quite simple, because he’s a child…
Curly would be sentenced to mandatory therapy; as well as community service…
as well as probably being added to an FBI watch list.
.That said, if he doesn’t get his act together, prison is likely to be in his future.
CRIMES: Assault, Blackmail, Harassment, Burglary, Vandalism
PUNISHMENT: Therapy, Community Service, FBI Watch List
The final criminal on our docket is none other than Lasombra from Hey Arnold the Jungle Movie.
Lasombra is a pirate who the cast of Hey Arnold meet during their netflix movie.
Lasombra is a wrathful and evil pirate who cares very little about human life and that
is expertly shown with his laundry list of crimes.
He’s done everything from kidnapping to attempted murder.
He’s committed crimes of blackmail, piracy and theft, as well as unlawful imprisonment
and false advertisement.
In fact, most of his crimes are towards children, which goes to show how evil he really is.
Amongst his crimes also includes Slavery, Assault, Attempted Murder, Impersonation and
Stalking, mostly aimed towards those who are against him and Arnold’s parents.
Lasombra is a criminal who has little to no care about human life, especially those around
him Lasombra’s greed shows that he will do anything to another human if it means he
gets what he wants.
In fact, if he was in any other show he would likely have multiple murders under his belt.
It’s likely Lasombra’s punishment would be life in prison with no chance at parole.
CRIMES: Kidnapping, Attempted Murder, Slavery PUNISHMENT: Life in Prison (No Parole)
But now, we get to the final criminals on today’s docket, none other than the undersea
farers, the criminals of Spongebob Squarepants…
Sidenote: there are a lot of villains in Spongebob… and we’ll only be covering a few: If you
want us to cover more: let us know!
Starting off the criminals, we have none other than Burger Beard from the second movie, Sponge
Out of Water.
Burger Beard is a pirate who appears as the main villain of the second film.
His crimes are related to his piracy, which is a crime in itself, but amongst the piracy
is also theft, property destruction and fraud.
However, his worst crimes are his attempted murder of the spongebob cast and also his
animal cruelty aimed towards the seagulls that follow him around.
Burger Beard does manage to get better by the end of the film and gets punished in a
pretty ironic and iconic way.
Burger Beard’s punishment is apt but we still believe he should take 20 years in prison
at least, with no chance at parole.
Simply because Burger Beard’s worst crimes are pretty bad, but not enough for any longer,
at least for our general knowledge.
CRIMES: Attempted Murder, Animal Cruelty, Theft
PUNISHMENT: 20 Years In Prison
Moving from the second film to the first, we have none other than Dennis.
Dennis is a bounty hunter hired by Plankton during the first film to stop Spongebob and
Patrick in their tracks as they hunt for Neptune’s crown.
Dennis has only a few crimes underneath his belt, but they’re all quite violent crimes,
with the only light crime being his stalking of the sponge and star.
Dennis also has the crime of assault under his belt, when he attacked Spongebob and Patrick
during the climax of the film.
Not to mention Attempted Murder and even the crime of Mutilation, when he takes the mouths
off of the two gas station attendants.
It’s even heavily implied that Dennis is a contract killer, which is a crime in and
of itself.
If Dennis was hired by someone other than Plankton it’s likely he would have had even
more crimes in his list, but as it stands, this is where he lands.
Because of all of this, we believe that Dennis would spend the rest of his life in prison
without a chance at parole, and if he really is a contract killer than he may even get
the death penalty.
CRIMES: Attempted Murder, Mutilation, Stalking PUNISHMENT: Life in Prison (No Parole)
The next criminal on our list is none other than the man himself, Mr. Eugene Krabs.
Krabs is the owner and operator of the Krusty Krab, a fast food place that Spongebob works
at.
Krabs has so many crimes underneath his belt that it’s very hard to get through them
all.
But, he’s committed acts of Theft, Fraud, Scamming, Money Laundering and Blackmail,
and these are some of his more common crimes, relating mostly to his greed and love of money.
He’s also committed acts like Grave Robbing in the episode “One Krabs Trash” or Attempted
Enforced Suicide in “One Coarse Meal”.
These crimes even go to things like Psychological Abuse, Grand Larceny, Property Damage and
Embezzlement.
However, his worst crimes are things like Child Abuse, Kidnapping and even Mass Torture,
with attempted murder through a poison burger and numerous health violations bringing up
the rear.
Krabs is even theorized to be committing cannibalism and was even once a pirate, meaning he was
on the line for Piracy charges.
He’s even committed Slavery, Destruction of Property and Breaking and Entering, in
fact his violent charges are some of the worst.
Krabs is by far the worst criminal we’ve talked about today.
In fact we believe that even for a light sentence he’d get The Death Penalty because he is
little more than a violent criminal mastermind pretending to be a straight-laced businessman.
The method of execution would be Walking The Plank.
CRIMES: Abuse, Grand Larceny, Blackmail, Laundering, Theft, Fraud, Embezzlement, Attempted Murder,
Kidnapping, Mass Torture, Piracy, Desctruction of Property, Slavery
PUNISHMENT: Death Penalty
We now get to the greatest criminal in the great blue sea, Sheldon J. Plankton.
Plankton is the proprietor of the Chum Bucket, which is said to be much worse than the Krusty
Krab across the street.
Plankton has a laundry list of crimes to go through, so let’s start with the smallest
ones, these include Forgery, Incrimination, Sabotage and both Copyright and Trademark
Infringement.
Each of these are pretty bad, but only need be mentioned because he has much worse to
talk about, like Espionage, Smuggling, Hacking and Stalking, most of which are combined together
in some way.
However, some of his worst crimes are yet to come, because he’s done things such as
pollution and extortion, even heavier crimes like theft and Grand Larceny for stealing
Neptune’s crown.
He’s broken out of jail, impersonated Mr. Krabs, poached things such as the jellyfish
and even committed acts of Vandalism and Assault.
However, Plankton does have a LOT of Attemped Murder, Harrasment, Death Threats, Terrorism
and Even Mass Slavery under his belt.
That last one is particularly interesting as he caused even high ranking figures like
King Neptune to be his slaves in the film, which leads into his worst crime, Attempted
World Domination.
Sheldon has tried at least 25 different and unique plans to take over the world by the
finale of the film, which shows that he will stop at nothing to get it.
Plankton is the worst type of criminal because he is by far the most threatening on our list.
Because of this, we believe a public execution via hanging or electric chair would be the
best way to end this microorganism’s spree of crime.
CRIMES: Espionage, Hacking, Smuggling, Extortion, Pollution, Terrorism, Slavery, Attempted Murder,
Harassment, Vandalism and Assaul PUNISHMENT: Death Penalty
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking.
And tell us what we should cover next.
Remember to hit that notification bell and binge more of our videos.
But most importantly, stay wicked.