Translator: Géraldine Géraldine Reviewer: Queenie Lee
For over ten years, I was addicted to playing video games.
This addiction affected many areas of my life,
including being a major influence in my decision
to drop out of high school at the age of 15.
Eventually, my parents got on my case to get a job, so I got one.
I say "got" because I pretended to have a job for months.
Every morning at 7 a.m., my dad would drop me off at the restaurant
where I was a prep cook.
After he drove off,
I'd walk across the street and catch the bus back home,
sneaking in through my window and going to sleep.
I'd been up all night playing video games.
The truth is I didn't want to do these things - I just did.
The addiction controlled the behavior.
Three years ago, I decided to make a change.
I just moved back home to Calgary, Canada, from living on Vancouver Island,
and I couldn't get over this feeling of immense disappointment in myself.
I moved to Vancouver Island inspired to take on new challenges,
only to be left playing video games 16 hours a day for five months straight.
I felt like a failure, and unfortunately, this was a feeling I knew too well.
So I did what anybody would do:
I Googled it!
And the answers I found -
(Laughter) (Applause)
and the answers I found were incredibly frustrating.
There were suggestions like "study more,"
when the whole reason I was playing video games was to avoid studying,
or to hang out with friends when all my friends played video games.
Not knowing what else to do, I decide to quit cold-turkey,
and after a few months,
I learned key lessons that led to major breakthroughs in my recovery.
And knowing others were struggling with this addiction,
I decided to share my story.
I wrote a blog post online titled "How to quit playing video games forever,"
and the response: overwhelming.
But is video game addiction really that big of a problem?
I mean, we are talking about video games here.
Sure, I had my own personal experience with it,
but did this problem scale, or was I just one of the unlucky ones?
Current research suggests that 97 percent of youth play video games,
which equates to 64 million kids, in the US alone,
between the ages of 2 and 17,
with the fastest-growing age were kids aged 2 to 5.
In the UK, 10% more kids aged 2 to 5 know how to operate a smartphone application,
then know how to tie their own shoes.
Unfortunately, the debate surrounding video games
focuses on whether you should play or not,
when that's like saying should you drink or not,
if you can do it in moderation, that's fine.
But what if you can't, what if right now you are stuck at home playing video games,
and you want to stop and don't know how.
Imagine for a second how this makes you feel.
Do you feel a sense of pain?
What about feelings of guilt, shame, do you feel confident, anxious, depressed?
Now, this wouldn't be a good TEDx talk unless I shared the lessons I learned
and how you can use them to help yourself
or someone you know overcome this addiction.
It's not about the games; it's about why you play the games.
If you can understand why you play games, you can move on from them.
There are four main reasons why you play games.
First, they are a temporary escape.
After a tough breakup at the age of 18,
playing games online gave me the perfect way
of not having to deal with the situation.
I could simply get absorbed in games and play for hours and hours.
Second, games are social.
Staying home on a Friday night doesn't seem so bad
when you are at home playing games with your friends online.
Not only that, but games offer a clean slate on the social ladder.
Being bullied when I was younger
didn't exactly leave me feeling very confident in my social standing.
I felt misunderstood, unaccepted, and unsure how to fix it,
even though I want it too.
Playing games online gave me this opportunity;
I could be who I wanted to be; nobody knew my history,
and I was judged based on my ability to play the game
and not on my current social standing.
Third, games are a challenge.
They give you a sense of purpose, a mission, a goal to work towards.
This is an achievement paradigm,
achievements multiply the opportunities to experience success.
Finally, you see constant measurable growth.
This is a feedback loop. You get to see progress.
When you are at school, you struggle to improve your social standing,
but online you are able to see rewards for the efforts you've put in.
Consider how it feels when you're finally able to see progress in something;
consider how it feels
when you are able to see that the goal you've set out for is achievable;
combine these four areas, and you have a very addicting process.
So where do we go from here? How do we fix this problem?
Video game addiction is a habit developed over time
by becoming your go-to activity whenever you're bored.
So parents, it starts with you.
I'm sorry to say, but the iPad is not the new babysitter.
They need interaction, not entertainment. Next, game was played for various -
(Applause)
Next, games were played for very specific reasons.
Identify their motivations and help them find these in other activities,
help them with their social skills.
The truth is they struggle to make friends.
Lastly, don't punish them for their desire to play these games.
Come from a place of compassion and encouragement, not judgment.
We are so caught up in asking whether this is a real addiction or not
that we've lost sight of what truly matters:
How do we help these people stop playing video games?
But there is another way.
The truth is this is about the idea
of feeling trapped in something you want to move on from.
It's about the freedom to live the way that you want
and on your own terms,
and sometimes all you need is permission.
Permission to move on from something you want to move on from.
Permission to stop playing video games.
So if you're out there,
whether in the audience or watching at home,
I want you to understand one thing: you have permission.
Thank you.
(Cheering) (Applause)