How are ya?
Good. How you doing?
Good to see you. Man, comb your hair.
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing)
Not since my high school photo.
Not since your, that was the last time, actually.
You know what's funny,
just today thinking about all the different
movies you've done, and I don't mean this,
I don't mean this in any way to be derogatory or anything,
it's just that you,
you see your movies and they're so dark
and they have such a sort of twisted reality
that I think, as a child,
this guy must have been an outcast.
Is that fair? Is that...
Well, you know, you don't set out to be an outcast.
Somehow society has a way of putting you in that.
But, you know, I like to, yeah,
I would do things in my neighborhood, like, pretend that,
you can do it with younger kids, you know,
because they're more gullible,
like pretend that there was quick sand in the backyard,
or one time I convinced this other kid
that his parents had put too much acid in the pool
and I threw some clothes in the pool
and said his brother had disintegrated.
(Conan and audience laughing)
And he ran screaming to his mother.
What a fun guy to have around the neighborhood.
(audience laughing)
Wow, so sort of this Charles Adams kid running around.
I mean, as an adult, you've been very successful.
You work with these big studio executives all the time,
who are dealing with lots of money.
How do they react to you?
I mean, what's the weirdest reaction
you've ever gotten from a studio executive?
Well, I mean, I've been lucky,
because I get to keep making films, so that's good.
But, I remember once, the reaction when I said
that I wanted Sammy Davis Jr. to play Beetlejuice.
They didn't...
It's like when you, you ever show a cat something weird,
where it's just like, or a deer caught in the headlights.
[Conan] Right, right.
That's sort of what it was like.
[Conan] They just stared at you for awhile?
Yeah, but they...
Actually, I can sort of see that.
Yeah, it would have been great.
He would have been a cool Beetlejuice.
Yeah, it would have been great.
At what point did you realize,
I mean, you're doing these different films.
At what point did you realize, I've arrived,
I am successful, I've made my mark?
Was there a defining moment where you realized?
Well, I, one thing, kind of the weird things,
like when they make porno movies based on your films.
(audience laughing)
Like what? Which films?
Edward Penishands.
(audience laughing)
That was when somebody gave me that tape
and I thought, wow, this is amazing.
And it was like a room, it was like 20 people in the room
and by the end of the movie,
there was me and one other person left.
(audience laughing)
Well, what was it like?
What is Edward Penishands like?
Well, I thought it was gonna be, I was excited.
I thought it would be like five penises on the,
but it was only one on each.
See? See, you can't help, but improve a movie.
(audience laughing)
You're looking at Edward Penishands
like, "No, no, no, no, no. We got to do this right."
And they squirted too. It was weird.
All right.
(audience groaning)
(audience laughing)
And then they did a sequel.
And then they did a sequel, which was really weird,
called Edward Penishands 2
and on the cover of the video,
he was dressed in a golfing outfit
and had golf mitts on his hands.
[Conan] Why?
I have no idea.
(Conan and audience laughing)
Have you talked to the person?
I didn't. I didn't.
Oh, you met?
I think I met the guy once.
The director or actually Edward Penishands?
The director. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, good.
(laughs) No.
I'm gonna change subjects quickly.
You have had,
you've had some difficulty with the film rating board.
I always do.
The NPAA, I guess, has given you kind of a hard time
and if you want to vent about this, you should vent here.
Well, you know, I've had trouble with them ever,
from the beginning of film.
You know, I used to watch monster movies when I was a kid,
you know, and that's kind of why I wanted
to make Sleepy Hollow is that it was like kind of a film
that you could see on TV on a Saturday afternoon.
So, you know, they get all crazy about it.
And I think, in fact,
the day that they were screening this film,
they were burning Elvis records at the same time.
[Conan] Right.
You know, they're just like so...
Determined to, I mean, the problem is that they just think
that you sort of, you think that kids
should be able to see...
Yeah, I mean, something that's safe.
These movies.
Like something that's done in the realm of a fantasy
or a fairy tale, something like that.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, those films were like cathartic for me.
They weren't like damaging and make me, you know,
wanna take off my own head
and ride a horse around, you know?
[Conan] Or a pumpkin head.
(Tim and audience laughing)
We want to talk to you about the movie Pumpkin Head.
(audience laughing)
Andy and I are going to put all our money into this.
This will be a $22,000 film.
(Tim and audience laughing)
Well, you know, we actually, this is interesting,
because we wanted to show a clip from Sleepy Hollow,
and we wanted to show an exciting clip
of the Headless Horseman
riding around with his sword, decapitating,
and the NPAA said...
[Tim] No exciting clips.
You cannot show a clip of the Headless Horseman
committing any act of violence.
And I thought, we thought that was kind of strange
and we didn't want to let you down,
so we made our own clip for Sleepy Hollow
and we spared no expense and let's roll this.
I hope you enjoy.
(thunder crashing)
(horse whinnying)
(blade of sword whizzing)
(horse galloping) (wind blowing)
[Mr. T] Here I am, in the graveyard.
(horse galloping)
(Mr. T yells)
[Mr. T] I pity the fool.
(audience applauding)
(Tim laughing)
We should...
Yeah, well we had to cut that scene out,
'cause that gave it an X.
That was an X, that was.
So Sleepy Hollow stars Mr. T. (laughs)
Check for it soon.
But actually, I saw Sleepy Hollow, as I mentioned,
I saw it two nights ago.
I thought it was great. I really liked it a lot.
That you. Yeah, we had fun making it.
Yeah. People should check that out.
Sleepy Hollow opens tomorrow
and Tim, it was great to meet you.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, thanks so much for coming by.
Best of luck with the movie.
(audience applauding)
Tim Burton, everybody.
We'll be right back with Los Straitjackets, stick around.