The INFJ is the rarest personality type in the world, making up less than 3% of the population.
Many Myers Brigg studies ask the question, why are there not more of them?
The shoes are big to fill for an INFJ.
Sometimes they can be the most beautiful delicate flower in a dryer than dry desert.
Other times, they are the most fierce voice in the room, uncontrollably honest, uncontrollably
bent on their intuition to tell people where they fall short.
As the peacemakers of the world, INFJs can often be misunderstood.
Weird because there is a short supply of them.
Weird because... they're really nice people.
So today we’re going to look at 10 daily struggles of the rare INFJ,
that many INFJs can hopefully relate to.
Please leave a like if you enjoy this video and let me know if you can relate in the comments.
If they can’t help someone, they feel useless.
INFJs are commonly regarded as “people pleasers”.
They are givers and carry a lot of empathy.
They will go to any length to make themselves available for others
and prove to be of help to them.
This is especially bad when it leads to their own burnout and mental and physical exhaustion.
Everything should be kept in balance and you
should be able to say no for your own good sometimes.
Unsurprisingly, when INFJs are not able to help someone, they feel worthless because
they believe it to be their duty to help and when they can’t perform in this way,
thoughts of uselessness cloud their minds.
Random strangers tell them EVERYTHING.
INFJs are really great listeners.
They are sensitive and empathetic and so they can feel the pain of others.
They have this understanding nature which makes even random people confide in them.
While this may be something good as it gives one a feeling that they’re trustworthy enough
for even people they don’t know to share their innermost dreams and demons.
It can also be very exhausting too.
Can you imagine meeting a random stranger, who you are probably never going to see again,
tell you something bad that their father said to them fifteen years ago.
For someone to confide in them and trust them with so much, almost straight away,
can be burdening sometimes.
They are never satisfied with themselves.
INFJs are perfectionists, they want everything they do to be completely flawless.
If an INFJ secures an A grade in a test, they’ll beat themselves up for the fact
that it could’ve been and should’ve been an A+ grade.
The thing is, they are just never satisfied with what they do.
They always strive for better and for them there is always room for improvement.
But, there’s a limit to everything.
INFJs should learn to appreciate what’s adequate sometimes instead of always striving
for perfection, as in life a pursuit of flawlessness is attainable and can lead to
both physical and mental destruction.
Getting drained because of others’ emotions.
INFJs have this gift-or curse, bestowed on them which makes them
highly sensitive and emotional.
They can not only sense what others are feeling but also adopt those emotions for themselves.
This makes them great healers, counsellors and advocates because of this capacity to
relate and make others not feel so alone in this world.
While this is a beautiful thing, the burden of it can also be completely draining, especially
when the emotions involved are strong and constantly changing.
And one has to balance their own thoughts and feelings.
Not having a clear line to distinguish their own thoughts from those of others can sometimes
be all-consuming and soul-crushing for an INFJ.
They can’t express their emotions.
INFJs are such gentle creatures that they find it extremely hard to express their emotions.
Why?
Simply because they don’t want to burden others.
INFJ’s are always the helpers of the world.
They always want to support people in their battles with life.
They listen intently when people vent to them, never complaining.
But when it comes to their own emotional outlet, they never see it as a priority.
However, this imbalance in being the one that’s always giving,
can naturally become too much for anyone.
When INFJ’s bottle up their emotions for too long, it can lead to
an outburst of epic proportions.
In order to avoid this, INFJ’s need to work on not getting to that point and get comfortable
with expressing their frustrations and grievances as they come up.
They need to be reminded, it’s ok to trust people to take care of their feelings too.
Overthinking.
Just like all other introverted personality types, INFJs face problems with overthinking.
Overthinking is defined as “thinking about something too much or for too long.” and
it can be a very unhealthy thing indeed.
In fact, multiple studies have shown that overthinking elevates stress levels, reduces
creativity, clouds judgment and can strip someone of their power to make decisions.
When an INFJ overthinks, thoughts run circles around their head and they find themselves
stuck in parking unable to move anywhere.
More so, they start coming up with bizarre ideas that totally contradict each other.
“I’m so excited for this job interview” transforms into “I wonder if they liked me”
and then morphs into “oh, I’m so stupid!
I shouldn’t have said that!
I’m definitely not getting an offer.”
They then start blaming themselves for things they didn’t do and worrying about scenarios
that may or may not happen.
This INFJ habit of overthinking everything until it is crystal clear can be energy draining.
Constantly thinking about the future or past instead of the present can send them feeling
lost in their own heads.
To fight against this, INFJ need to work on staying in the present and changing the story
they tell about themselves.
“I’m qualified, I practiced for that interview, and I nailed it, and if they can’t see that
this job was never meant for me”.
Random crying sessions.
I might have mentioned this a few times before, but just in case,
INFJs are highly sensitive and emotional beings.
This unfortunately can result in them often experiencing different emotions
at the oddest times and places.
Being someone with intense emotions can be incredibly tough to deal with.
Whether it’s feelings of anger or sadness, it’s not always possible to regulate something
that can be so overpowering.
When an INFJ’s emotions get’s the best of them, it can result in them breaking into
tears seemingly out of the blue.
All it would take is a sad song at the mall and boom, there comes the waterworks.
This is something that is very common among the INFJs and can’t really be helped.
It’s a part of who they are and should be accepted as a result of
their deep connection to the world.
People thinking that they are strange
INFJ’s are often described as mysterious, cold, hard-to-read, uninterested, and bored-looking
by people who don't know them very well.
But their closest friends, however, don't seem to hold this view.
This is because INFJ’s live in their own world most of the time and it's only in getting
to know them that people realize it’s not personal.
They need time to trust people enough to know they won’t be rejected when opening up,
so they tend to keep their feelings and emotions close to their vest.
It can be frustrating for others when they're only treated to occasional glimmers of an
INFJs sparkling personality.
Their slow message response times (leaving you “on read”) and unaccepted invitations
can make people feel unwanted, or that you’re the only person putting in any effort.
This is the reason INFJs only have a few special people they call friends.
These are the people who have the patience to understand their unique ways of being
and accept them for it.
In return they are rewarded with a loyalty and love that is lifelong.
Overanalyzing communication
Any time an INFJ talks to someone they always tend to think about everything they said afterward
and any quote "mistakes" they made and it can really drive them crazy.
They really try to improve how they interact with people but they often get into a perfectionist
mindset with trying to say the right thing, and this can result in them feeling guilty
for not saying something better or more valuable to that person.
For example, spotting an old acquaintance at a bus stop somewhere.
Most people wouldn’t consider it a big deal to say something or not to, but for an INFJ
it can seem like the decision of a lifetime.
They might decide not to, and avoid eye contact the whole wait.
But afterwards they’ll keep thinking about how they should have engaged in a conversation
or at least said hi.
As small of an event as that was, they’ll keep thinking about it, probably for the rest
of their lives, because they felt that it was a mistake of theirs.
But on the other hand, if they did say hi, they’ll spend the rest of their lives thinking
about why they did that.
It was so awkward and did they sound too familiar for the situation.
This overanalyzing nature can sometimes mean there is no way to win as an INFJ.