(Hyesong sets shot glass)
(can opens)
- Oh, God.
(ominous music)
- [Interviewer] Hi. - Hi.
- [Interviewer] Who are you and why are you here?
- Oh, I'm Hyesong.
- I'm Lily. It's gonna be my first time drinking.
Never done that before, especially because
in our church we weren't allowed to drink.
- I grew up in the Southern Baptist
Doctrine of Christianity.
My dad was a pastor, and I was just kind of doing it
before I knew what it was.
- I was Mormon all my life,
left the church about a year ago, a year and a half ago.
- [Interviewer] What were some activities
you weren't allowed to do?
- Oh God, there was a lot.
- We couldn't have coffee,
we couldn't date until we were 16.
- Drinking, partying, drugs,
and like masturbation was a big thing that like,
there was this overhang of shame about.
- [Interviewer] Did you ever feel conflicted at any point?
- I was really iffy
about the religion throughout my whole life
because my mom forced me into it.
- It wasn't until I hit my teenage years
that I started to question some of the beliefs
and some of the standards that they held.
- [Interviewer] What made you wanna do this activity today?
- Just to finally be free
from, I guess the environment of my house.
I felt trapped, like throughout my whole life.
- [Interviewer] I'm gonna give you three different drinks.
- Okay.
- [Interviewer] Are you ready for your first drink?
- Yes.
- [Interviewer] Are you a little nervous?
- Very. (Lily laughing)
(ominous music)
- What is this?
- [Interviewer] Vodka.
- How far should I fill up the shot glass?
- [Interviewer] I'll let you kind of workshop it real quick.
Go ahead and... - Oh, God forbid. Okay.
(glass clink)
- [Interviewer] There you go. - Okay.
That literally smells like rubbing alcohol.
- Is there a percentage that I can attach to this.
- [Interviewer] 40?
- Oh God. Okay.(indistinct)
Ugh. God.
- Oh.
- Oh my gosh. Wow, that is very strong.
(Hyesong clears throat) - Okay.
It lingers.
- [Interviewer] When you drank that,
what was like the first thing that came to your mind?
- Just a weird experience
to drink something that's prohibited.
Am I able to text my mom really quick?
She's like blowing up my phone.
- [Interviewer] You wanna text her?
- Yeah. - [Interviewer] Yes.
- I'm on the phone with (beep sound) right now.
(ominous sound)
- I remember seeing a lot of people
talking shit about White Claw and I'm like,
"yeah, like when I ever try a alcohol,
I don't think I'm ever gonna do that.
- [Interviewer] And here you are.
- It's not good.
- It's like a slightly fruitier LaCroix.
- It's like carbonated water with no sugar.
- [Interviewer] When did you know
you were gonna leave the faith?
- Between 16 and 17.
I made friends with this one girl
that like had very similar like beliefs.
And she was like, yeah, like
you don't need to feel like shit whenever you like,
whenever you jerk off or something,
like you don't have to feel shit about this.
I was like, yeah, okay.
- [Interviewer] What was the conversation around sex like
in your household?
- It was really forbidden.
- Like the conversation doesn't really exist.
There's just a lot of like, don't do it or just like,
subject dodging, 'cause like nobody wants to
be the guy to tell you about it.
But I'm just like, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
- [Interviewer] Are you still a Virgin?
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer] Do you plan on having premarital sex or no?
- I have no idea.
- I lost my virginity at 17.
My mom found out when I was 18, she went through my trash,
still goes through my trash and she found stuff in my room.
She told my dad and it just really sucks
because my dad has this perspective of me
of being like his little princess.
And so I feel like that just like kind of
shattered his world to hear that.
(ominous music)
- How do I hold this? Okay.
- Huh.
It tastes a lot like what the vodka smelled like
but there's something sweet attached.
- [Interviewer] No?
- Oh, so good.
- [Interviewer] Does your family know
you're doing this activity today?
- Sister does, mom doesn't.
If some lady that she knows sees this,
they'll probably call her and be like,
yo, you know what the fuck your son is doing?
And then she probably contact me about it.
- [Interviewer] Are you gonna tell any
of your family members about this?
- Oh no. Maybe my brother.
He'd definitely be like, you know mom's gonna find out,
which is fine.
Hopefully I'll be moved out by then.
- Oh my gosh.
Do they make better drinks than that?
- [Interviewer] Yes.
(both laughing)
- [Interviewer] How was that for you?
- It was interesting.
This is like the weirdest therapy session I've ever gone to
but it's great.
You know, like we're having fun.
- I feel more open.
I guess, that's what alcohol does to you.
I feel like I could like hug everybody right now.
Definitely.
- [Interviewer] Are there any beliefs
that you still practice or still believe in?
- I do go to church, but now it's like
of my own volition and 'cause I enjoy doing it.
I don't believe that baptism is the only way to be saved,
which is the Baptist part of the name.
- I don't believe in any of it. It feels kind of culty.
- [Interviewer] Would you like to shotgun a beer?
- Oh hell yeah. Let's do it.
- Oh God. How do you do that?
- [Interviewer] I can show you.
So you'll poke here.
Then you put your mouth, tilt up, and then open it.
- Oh God, freaking. Oh God.
Oh God. - [Interviewer] There you go.
Perfect.
- Oh God.
- [Interviewer] You don't have to drink at all.
You don't have to drink it all, or you got it.
- Oh, it's terrible.
How do you do that?
- [Interviewer] Wait, let me find you a napkin.
- Oh God, that was, that was something.