Hey! Okay, so, here's the story. If you look over uhh at-- see-- see the skeleton? No? Okay-- Here.
Take this, uhh, take this camera, zoom in on that one. You see the skeleton?
(Myeh!) Yeah, that bad boy.
Okay, you know who that is? Oh, I think you know who that is. That is Mr. Bones, and this is Mr. Bones' pumpKAN patch.
Where'd the uh-- Where'd the sharpie go? *Chicken noise*
Ah. So, what we're going to be doing here... is we're gonna be getting a pumpkin, because if you didn't know, and if Chica didn't know- Chica get over here!
Hop up. Good bub, good bub, good bub, good bub.
Could you hop up on there? Oh, good girl.
Turn around and show the world! Now as you can see.
It's almost Halloween. We're right on the cusp of it. ANYTHING could happen... on Halloween.
So what you gotta- Ow.
What you gotta remember is that when it comes to Halloween, it all amounts to who's got the best decorations.
Whether you got a house, whether you got a van, whether you got a car, whether you live in the garbage.
So long as you decorate it well, you can win Halloween.
So, what we're hoping to do is, we're gonna Pump Deco.
I don't have enough space.
I can't write pumpkin decoration, but pump deco! You're gonna carve too - don't think I forgot about you.
So we need to get to (distorted) PUMPIN! Chica, you wanna go (distorted) pUUUMPKIN patch?
Da-Da-Da-Da YEUUUUS! All right, let's go pumpkin patch, buuubba.
I've never seen a tail go that hard! All right. You ready? I'm ready.
I got my swing. Gimme that camera. Never know where you're gonna need it!
Can you imagine if I recorded every moment of my life?
That'd be weird.
(panicking) How do we get out of here? Oh god! Chica, what do we do?
(normal) Chica, what do we do?
You're of no help in a crisis situation. Let's boogie!
Aw, thanks, you're so considerate. Thinking of Chica's poop. I think of Chica's poop everyday.
It's gotta be like, 105, or something.
I guess I could look it up on my phone, but...
God, it's so lazy. Oh good. Good news, 102 and falling.
(Amy) Chica! (Mark) Oh! Hi!
(Amy) Hey! What are you guys doing here? (Mark) Is this, erm...
(Mark) Is this your house? Nice and secluded. Still freakin hot. (Amy) Yeeeeah.
(Mark) Can you get the thermometer? (stammers)
Everyone knows that you get the best pumpkins by judging them by their internal temperature. And their external temperature.
So depending between the averages of the two, we need to measure them, so if you could go get the thermo-meter?
(Legend of Zelda item get sound)
Oh, perfect! Okay, so- Wow, is that joking? That is not joking.
*Hwuf!*
Oh my goodness, okay, so scout out some good pumpkins.
(Mark) Um-- If you go one way, and I go the other way,
(Mark) we should be able to- (Amy) Cover more ground? (Mark) Yeah, we can cover more ground.
(Mark) Which way is north? (Amy) Um, one issue - we can't throw the pumpkins.
Can't believe this shit. How about that one? (boop) What about that big boy? (boop) Good temp, good temp.
How 'bout this nice, pristine one there? (boop) Ooooh. Ooh, is that Mr. Bones?
(♫ Spooky Scary S- ♫) (boop)
(Amy) There's goats? (Mark) Chica- (Amy) Look at her!
(boop)
(goat scream sfx) (Mark) What, do you want to go in the petting zoo?
(Amy) Chica, come on baby. [inaudible] (Mark) Leave it! Leave it! Chica, leave it!
So this place is pretty cool. (straining) [inaudible] I need to get pumpkins
Careful bub, don't eat the hay. But we still gotta find pumpkins for everybody. I'm thinking...
(Fan) Mark! (Mark) Yeah! (Fan) What's up, buddy? (Mark) Oh, hey, how's it goin'?
(Fan) I'm a fan! (Mark) Thank you! (Fan) I watch your videos all the time, that's crazy, man! (Mark) Yeah!
(Fan) Could we take a picture? (Mark) Course! Absolutely you can!
(honk) (Mark) Oh yeah, yeah, my buddy can take a picture for you. (Fan) Thanks. (Mark) No problem.
(Fan) All right, thanks a lot buddy. (Mark) Hey, no problem. Thank you. (Fan) Thanks.
That was nice. You behaved well around them. I'm thinking for uh, maybe Tyler could use one of these mini ones. He doesn't need a lot, you know.
He doesn't have a need to compensate for anything, so... Whereas I do, oh, incredibly, I need to compensate for everything.
I like this one- I like the look of this one.
Oh! Ah! That's toasty.
It's pretty good, I think that's a very Tyler one. That'll do.
I mean, if you find one that you like, you pick it out.
(Chicken squawk) (Mark) Now- oooh!
(Mark) Ohhhh! ("YOU WIN")
(Mark) Oooh, that's a nice one. My hands are full, I'm gonna get Amy. Hey Amy? Amy!
(Mark) Can you take Chica? (Amy) I'd love to. Come here. (Mark) I've got my hands full of PUMPKIN.
(Amy) You want a wagon? (Mark) Can we get a wagon?
(Mark) Oooooooh! (Amy) Oh, this one comes pre-pumpkined!
(Mark) Where? A stealth pumpkin! You wanna pull it or do you want me to pull it?
(Mark) You wanna pull it? Aww. You're so cute.
(Amy) Do you see the spicy pumpkins? (Mark) Where? Ooh!
(Mark) Oh, I thought you were like, "for Ethan! It's perfect!"
(Mark) Haha- where are they? (GOTEEM)
(Mark) Ohh! They are very spicy. May I have the...
(Mark) Phew, those are a SPIIIIIIIIICY pumpkin.
Hmm... (boop) That's a spicy fire hydrant.
I think if I had to go on brand with any of these, I gotta go with this slightly short,
but...
spicy red one.
(Mark Grunts™)
(Mark) That one's for me.
(Mark) See why? (Amy) That's a good one. (Mark) 'Cause it's short. (Amy) 'Cause you're spicy.
(Mark) No, it's short. So we just need one more, for, (whispering) Amy.
(Mark) So it's got to be perfect. Not that you don't deserve the best, but, I mean, I'm biased.
(Mark) Wait a minute...
(Mark) I Spy with my little eye...
(Mark) Whoa. Look at that. I think this is the one. (boop)
(Amy) Oooooh! (Mark) Look at it!
(Mark) That's a good one. So it's got a perfectly rounded or it's got a flat if you wanted to do the face on there. (Amy) She's beautiful!
(Amy) That's a good pumpkin. (Mark) I know, right?
(Mark) You've been so good, and so helpful,
I got ya some tickets to the petting zoo. You wanna go? Yeah, okay, all right cool. Let's go.
(Amy) You got the wagon?
(Mark) I played a game about you a while ago! Nature's... beautiful blessing.
(Mark) We've got cross-pollination!
(Mark) Chica! Hello!
(Amy) That's a weird bark. (Mark) You're good with animals.
(Amy) Well, our petting zoo is free, and it's way better than yours!
(Mark) That's true, that is a nice petting zoo out there.
(Dog barking sfx) (Mark) They're in some sort of communion over there, I think we should maybe leave them be, but... I like you.
(Mark)Are they fighting or in love? I can't tell.
(Mark) ...And when CAN you tell, these days? You good? Okay, cool.
(?) My brother's in the marines, and he wanted to know if you can give him a little... "hi?" Y'know, he-
(Mark) Oh, of course! Yeah, yeah. Hi, how's it going?
(Fan, over the phone) Hi. (Mark) Hi, I'm Mark. (Fan) Nice to meet you. (Mark) Oh, nice to meet you too! Yeah.
(Fan) Uh... (laughing)
(Mark) Thank you so much. Yeah.
(Fan's family) Thanks a lot man, means a lot to him. (Mark) No problem, thank you. Of course.
(Mark) It's a one-stop shop! Shop till you drop! Get pumpkins till you're dumpkins! Get pumps till you're crumps!
(Mark) A BOO-jector? I love boo-jectors! Cool.
(Mark) Thank you very much. You have fun? That's good. I think that goat liked you.
(Mark) I don't know how much goat emotions play into things around here, but I think I got an intuition for it. Can you marry a goat?
(Mark) All right. You can throw that stuff in there.
(Mark, sarcastic) You're welcome.
(Mark) It's a HOT one...
(Mark) Mr. Grinch. Ahhh, it's gonna be hot for a minute.
Aaaah, gotta get back! Excuse me buppy! All right Chica, watch out. Excuse me, here comes the kick. Here comes a sweet ass shot. Let's get goin'.
(Mark) Anyone behind me? No? Tough luck for them, right? (laughs) (intense car horns)
(intense car horns)
(Mark) There was someone behind me, as it turns out.
(Mark) Thank you!
(Mark) Yeesh.
(Mark) Here, take yours... Oh, noo! (Amy) She's- she's uh... She's a little...
(Mark) Do you want to see if we can exchange it? (Amy) She's great, I love her.
(Mark) Personality. (Amy) Yep. (Mark) Just extra personality. Watch out Chica.
(Mark) I didn't almost hit someone on the way out of the parking lot, don't you mind me.
(Amy) Sounds like you might a'... That sounds like something someone who...
(Amy) Sounds like you might a'... That sounds like something someone who... (Mark) Nup!
(Amy) ...nearly hit someone on the way out of the parking lot would say!
(Amy) ...nearly hit someone on the way out of the parking lot would say! (Mark) Could you stop- could you stop telling such
(Mark) Could you stop- could you stop telling such
fallacies,
excuse you! I like to keep the truth in this van. This is the truth van, and if you're not telling me the truth in this van...
(Amy) I was just-
(Mark) You can get out. I spy him! Alright, so here's the sitch we got our pumps. We got our...
bepis! Now we just need the big man himself.
Who's stealing that- these- these- all these kids are like: "this MAN!"
(Mark) "This MAN is taking our swing!" (Amy) That's the funniest thing.
(Amy) Dude, what a situation.
(Mark) Get in!
(Mark) Get! Get!
(Mark) Hello! (Tyler) Hello!
(Mark) How long were you swinging on those swings and those kids weren't able to play?
(Tyler) No, they were playing before I did that. Oh my gosh. (Mark) Yeah, cool right? (Tyler) That's crazy. (Amy) Right? (Mark) I know, yeah?
(Amy) This is all, like, storage under here
(Tyler) This is... surprisingly more than I expected. (Mark) I know, right? That's what that's what I thought!
(Amy) It's a home! (Mark) We-
(Mark) We did it up right, like, we did it real good.
(Mark) Oh, well we got to get food first. Where do you wanna go?
(Tyler) Anything. I was gonna say Chick-fil-A, but we already ten this way
(Mark) Oh, well I can bop a u-ie. (Amy) Aww, you goofed it!
(Mark) Hold ooOOOOOOOOOON!! (Tyler) Whooooooooa (Amy) Broke the pumpkins!
(Tyler) Great news: there is no new tear,
(Mark) Heeey! (Tyler) As far as they can tell, so... (Amy, Mark and cameraperson clap)
(Tyler) I am still on corrective healing. I have to follow up in six months, but that's after tour,
(tyler) he said keep up with exercise because it feels better when I'm moving.
(Mark) So you're on pace to dance on the tour in January? (Amy) Woo!
(Tyler) I am on pace to dance in the tour in January. (Mark) Hell yeah.
(Mark) Congratulations, man. (Tyler) Yeah. I was really nervous going in today. I'm like: "I don't want to go. I don't want to go."
Tyler: If it's bad news, I don't wanna go. (Mark) Aww. (Amy) It could be anything!
(Mark) Oh, uh, are you gonna be here for the charity livestream on Saturday? (Tyler) I should be- (crashing, yelling sfx)
(Tyler) Yeah, as far as I know I can be there for part of it. (Mark) Cool.
(Mark) You're gonna be there for a... charity livestream? (Amy) Afternoon.
(Mark) Yeah, okay. Not- not whole day? (Amy) I'm gonna see you in the morning, but...
(Mark) You're gonna be there? Okay, cool. All right, Saturday. Uh, show up around 10:00 a.m., I think? Yeah, cool, alright.
(Tyler) Now I see why you think this will give you respect
(Mark) (LARGE BURP)
(Mark) It's pump time. That sounds weird
(Mark) It's pumpKIN time. More specifically, it's pumpkin carving time.
(Mark) Pump carve time. Pumpkatime. Anyway, let's go.
(Mark) Yes. 3, 2, 1, BLAAAAP. (Mark noises™)
(Mark) They're perfect! (Amy) Look at all this light! (Mark) Look at all this light. (Tyler) It's so bright. (Mark) It's like daylight in here!
(Amy) Ohh, who is that? (Mark) Hello! (Amy) She's like "Oh hello, we're open for business!"
(Mark) Hoho, I'd like to b-ofph-
(Mark) I'd like to buy one of your glorious (Amy) Pumps! (Mark) wags- ohhh...
(Amy) Wag is better. (Mark) I'd like a wa-
(Mark) wag, not a hump. (Amy) A pump!
(Mark) Oh, "pump!" I thought you said "hump!"
(Amy) No, a pump! (Mark) Ahh. Let's get to carvin'!
(Mark) Amy, you already know, but there's your pumpkin. (Amy) She's beautiful. Thank you. (Mark) Yeah.
(Mark) Tyler, this is your pumpkin. (Tyler) Oh!
(Mark) This is *your* pumpkin.
(thud)
(Amy) Noooooooo! (Mark) Awww!
(Mark) Alright, this is my pumpkin. Amy's pumpkin just broke, but that's okay (Amy) She's good.
(Mark) and Tyler's pumpkin is down there. And chica doesn't have a pumpkin,
(Mark) but she gets to eat the pumpkin seeds because that's good for dogs.
(Mark) All right. Have you ever parv- parved a cumpkin?
(Mark) K.
(Tyler) I got a thick pumpkin skin. (Mark, mocking) "I got a thuuh thpumpkuuh thuuh".
(Mark, still mocking) "mY BUmpkin's gettin rEAl THICK."
(Mark, still mocking) "I'm TYler, I'm a THICK BUmpkin."
(Tyler) I'm a thick pumpkin? (Mark) You're a thick pumpkin, dude.
(Amy) Oh, look at those seeds! (Mark) Oh, I'm- Oh, no, I'm gonna push it in. Eeee!
(Mark) Oh, look at that. Look at that. Look at that, you see that there?
(Mark) You see that there? (Tyler) It's a barrel of gourd!
(Mark) That's uh... that's the probuscis.
(Amy) Should I put the gooper down here?
(Tyler) Yeeeeaaah. (Mark) I don't really have a lot of goop in there.
(Mark) This is pretty... (Tyler) We'll hand you the gooper when you need the gooper.
(Tyler) We'll hand you the gooper when you need the gooper. (Amy) I- Oh, I should have cut my hole bigger.
(Amy) I- Oh, I should have cut my hole bigger.
(Mark) How's your pumpkin coming along? (Tyler) Yeah! (Mark) Nice. You need the goop bucket? Eugh.
(Amy) Suhh. (Mark) Nice. Hang on.
(Mark) I wanna do that (straining) tOO!
(Mark straining) (All laughing)
(Mark, straining) Fist... me...
(Mark) (pained groans)
(Tyler) I'm wearing the traditional pumpkin-carving garb
(Amy) (laughs)
(Mark) Which is what, exactly? (Tyler) Newspaper pants. (Mark) Oh, yes that is point of fact. (Amy) Newspaper pants!
(Mark) Where did I put my blade? Maybe when I fist- ah, yeah.
(Mark) I had a fisting incident. You need the bucket?
(Mark) Oh yeah, here you go. Don't worry about it. How's it coming along? That's gonna be good.
(Mark) Eugh.
(Mark) (various sounds of disgust)
(Mark) Honestly, it doesn't smell that bad.
(Mark) I don't know why I expected, like, when opening these up, it'd be like a carcass,
(Mark) Like, this is just some autopsy that we're doing.
(Amy) Yeah, I don't know what the rules of this are?
(Mark) The rules of pumpkin?
(Amy) (laughing) The rules of the pumpkin, like can we- (Mark) Pfft, do you NOT know the
(Mark) International Standard RULES of the pumpkin?
(Amy) No, thats why I'm asking.
(Mark) Oh-ho-ho! Please, quote them, the International Rules of the Pumpkin.
(Mark) THANK you.
(Amy) Did it work?
(Mark) D'awww. (GASP)
(Amy) WHOA! (Mark) WHAT!
(Mark) That's cool! (Amy) I like the circle AND the triangle.
(Amy) See, I always go for the symmetrical, but like,
(Amy) Silly me!
(Mark) Yes, YES, YES!
(Strange Mark Sounds™)
(Mark) Ah, look at that toothy grin! That's a good grin!
(Mark) Ta-daa!
(Mark) There we go. Oh yeah- oh, you want one too? Here.
(Mark) There you go.
(Mark) Ahh, that's cool! Ohh...
(Mark) That's so cool. Hey, good job on that.
(Mark) Where's the- where's that dry erase? Has anybody seen it?
(Amy) We should tie a string to it and then, like, just have it dangle.
(Mark) You're crazy!
(Amy) Maybe just crazy enough. (Mark) Maybe.
(Mark) I'm gonna go put this on the roof. Eh, you know what? You can come up with me.
(Mark) Yeah, come on up! Alright, just be careful.
(Mark) Alright, gimme that.
(Mark) Need a hand?
(Mark) I think this thing can take the weight. (laughs)
(Mark) Oh, look at the way they bounce!
(Mark) Don't look at my BUTT on the way down!
(Mark) Cool. (Amy) That's something that someone who would want- you would want someone to look at your- your butt would say
(Mark) Okay-
(Mark) No!
(Amy) It's a bepis!
(Mark) Awww... (Amy) It's got ears...
(Mark) What! (Amy) ...and a bepis! (Mark) Awww! That's so cute!
(Tyler) I'm ready as well. (Amy) Identical! (Tyler) I need a light.
(Mark) Yeah, I hope you guys don't mind me recording this I just like to keep memories.
(Tyler) It's a creepy butler! (Mark) What! (Amy) Let me see him?
(Amy) Ooooh! I like his nose! (Mark) That's so cool, look!
(Mark) Wait, hang on... Right there! (Amy) See you put texture on yours.
(Mark) Eeeyoop, got 'em.
(Mark) Hey, look, hey, look, hey, look,
(Mark, mocking) I'm a "VLOGGER," (Mark Sounds™) This is my "daily life" (Even More Mark Sounds™)
(Mark) Objectively, I don't know if WE can judge which pumpkin was best.
(Mark) Um, hang on, let me get my phone.
(Mark) Come on, they gotta see these (Tyler) Ethan's gotta be up, it's his birthday.
(Mark) Heeey! Hey Kathryn, how you doing?
(Kathryn) I'm doing pretty good, how are you?
(Mark) I'm good, look! Uh, we- we carved some pumpkins, I want you to see 'em.
(Tyler) Hooraaaay! I got Ethan!
(Mark) What? (Ethan) Huh? (Mark) Ethan?
(Tyler) Ethan is here! (Mark) Happy birthday Ethan!
(Amy and Tyler) Happy birthday!
(Tyler) No! Stay here! We have to show you! (Mark) Wait, yeah-
(Mark and Tyler) We have to show you something! Stay here! Stay here! Stay here!
(Ethan) Bye!
(Tyler) No! I told you to stay! (Mark) Wait, stay!
(Tyler) NOOOOOO!
(Tyler) No! He hung up! (Mark) (sighs) All right, we tried, but anyway,
(Mark) Okay, so, carving some pumpkins up here and uh...
(Mark) We- we got them lined up here, if you can see them, like- do you see them?
(Kathryn) Yeah.
(Mark) Okay, I'm not gonna tell you who did which one,
(Kathryn) Uh-huh. (Mark) But I want you to judge: which one you think's the best
(Kathryn) The- the second one from the left.
(Mark) This one, right here? (Kathryn) Yeah, yeah. (Mark) That-- that's Amy's
(Amy) Eeeeyyyyyy! Woo! (Mark) Eeeyyyyyyyyy!
(Mark) Okay, which is your second favorite?
(Kathryn) No, not that one.
(Kathryn) I guess the one all the way to the left, I like his eyebrows.
(Mark) All the way to the left? (Kathryn) Yeah. (Mark) All right, you like that one? That's Tyler's!
(Tyler) Woooooo!
(Mark laughs)
(Tyler) They're dancin'! (Mark) All right, okay, we'll give third place between these two?
(Kathryn) I feel like I've got pumpkin bias, because I like the short boi.
(Mark) This one? (Kathryn) All the way on the right, yeah.
(Mark) That's mine, that's mine! Oh, you got wrecked.
(Mark) Oh, no.
(Mark) We always appreciate your judgments.
(Mark) Okay, alright, well- (Kathryn) Okay, bye!
(Mark) Bye! (Amy) I love you, bye! (Tyler) Bye!
(Mark) Alright, I'm gonna try to call Ethan.
(Mark) Ethan! Happy birthday! (Ethan) Mark! I can't hear you at all!
(Mark) Happy birthday! Wait, wait wait wait wait wait
(Ethan) My volume is up, but I can't hear you- why are you at YouTube Space?
(Ethan) It's my birthday- (???) He doesn't have time to talk to you!
(Ethan) [inaudible] (Mark and Tyler) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
(Ethan) [inaudible]
(Mark) Haaaappy birthday! (Tyler) Happy birthday, happy birthday, pumpkin!
(Ethan) I can't hear you!
(Mark, yelling) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
(Ethan) Ohh! Thank you! Thank you very much!
(Mark, yelling) WHICH PUMPKIN YOU LIKE BEST?
(Ethan) I can't hear you, but I'll talk to you later!
(Mark, yelling and enunciating) WHICH PUMPKIN?
(Ethan) Oh, which pumpkin? Which pumpkin- hold on-
(Mark, still yelling) YEEEAAAH.
(Ethan) Show me the array of pumpkins, [inaudible]
(Mark, yelling, still) ALL RIGHT.
(???) They're all really bad, I can't lie. (Ethan) That one's that, that one's that...
(???) Dude, they're ALL really bad.
(Ethan) I like the last one the best 'cause I think it's goofy!
(Mark) This one? YEEEAH! It's mine! (Amy) Wooo!
(Mark) That's mine! Alright. (Ethan) Yeeeeah!
(Tyler) Wooo! (Mark) Goodbye!
(Mark) You came in last place!
(Amy) Ha-ha! (Tyler) I got second from Kathryn! (Mark) You got second!
(Mark) All right, well anyway- (Tyler) All 'cause of that eyebrow work, working those brows.
(Mark) It's pretty good brows! Not bad BROWS.
(Mark) Okay, so thank you guys so much for joining us here.
(Mark) We're gonna get out of here, but this is so much fun.
(Mark) Thanks so much, and as always, I'll see you in the next video.
(Mark) BUH-BYE!