Itchy are you in here?
Itchy?
What can I do for you Q ball?
You can say some dumb shit on Twitter and the response was overwhelming, I think I lost
like 10 perc...
10 out of a 100 of my fans instantly hated me.
Petitions were, were, were made to Star Trek conventions and sent to all the promoters
of all the different conventions saying "We the Star Trek fanbase don't want Manu Intiraymi
invited to conventions anymore".
There was a big group that immediately made that jump from not just saying dumb things,
but possibly doing extremely evil things, uhm and I just got beat up you know for years,
and blocked from going to the conventions that I loved to go to.
Unlike American conventions where if I come back the third time nobody cares, nobody wants
to talk to me anymore, FedCon it seems like... ahaha this is gonna be uh a crying interview,
I just keep getting more and more love so, it's beautiful.
It's like a family.
Yeah it is.
You know what actually I gotta tell ya just a little bit about myself uhm, so as to just
my basic life philosophy goes just don't put your shit on me.
What's crying gat ya anyhow, nothing but the hiccups.
*Hiccup*
"You're gonna, you're gonna pick that up aren't you?"
and I go "motherf*ck*r", is there kids?
How many kids?
*Laughter* I don't see any kids, any kids out there?
Kids?
I go "motherfucker would you just leave your fff…" *laughter* Really?
I'm not a kid.
Oh oh OK.
*laughter* "Would you just mind your own fucking business man".
He goes "(stutters) what's with the profanity?".
I go "motherfucker, shit, kike, wog, spick, God damnit, piss, fucking" a, a, a, and he
goes"(stutters) did you just say kike?, did you just call me a kike?"
I go "No dude, it's America.
I just, you told me I couldn't be profane so
I said motherfucker, shit, God, cock, kike,
I'm not calling you anything".
He goes "(stutters)", he's getting red now "Say kike again, say kike again".
He get's right in my face, and I'm thinking it's
America eh this guy lays me out I could get
20, 25 grand, maybe 30 grand *laughter* so I go "KIKE" right into his face.
Listen little fella we may have had a lot of hard luck up 'til now, but you and me is
gonna do big things together.
Well I, this is definitely the longest role I've ever done, uhm I was in practically every
scene, eh I was in a lot of that episode, so this is definitely the largest role I've
ever done.
Uhm I did an Ally McBeal episode about a year before that, uhm and that was a small guest
star, eh and I've done, you know stage work, things like that, uhm I don't know if you
know the musical Grease, but I played Danny Zuko in Grease, which is the John Travolta
character, that was interesting, but this is defintely the largest role I've ever done
for uhm television, and eh it was really fun, I mean I was worried that I would have trouble
in terms of uhm coming up with, luckily for me I memorize things quite quickly, so uhm
the lines were not a big deal, my Dad, I'm kinda the opposite from my Dad, my Dad has
such a hard time learning lines, eh I'll just drill him and drill him with lines, and just
he has a really hard time with lines, but in terms of interpretation he's fast, really
fast at it, wheras it takes me a long time to come up with any sort of interpretation,
I can memorize it, but I'll just read ti to ya, uhm so it, it was tough, but it was really
fun.
I got to work a whole week and a half on it, it was great.
He he gets so angry he gets up and he grabs me
by my shirt collar, red in the face, and he
goes "I, I'm on my way down to the liquor store
and then I'm going home, if you don't pick
up that dog shit by the time I get back and put it somewhere else,
I will fucking kill you".
Ahah they can't keep us down.
Kill, kill you, threatens me with my life, uhm and then eh walks off to the, to the liquor
store, so I go inside my house and I grab eh some eh tissue paper and I run out and
I saw the house that he came out of so I picked up the dog crap and ran over to his lawn and
I put the dog crap on his lawn, went back inside.
We'll bounce back so hard.
*Hiccup* Hey what's the matter wid you?
I throw it on the ground and I put it out, she, she says, same thing with the dog poop,
she goes "You're gonna pick that up aren't ya?",
"No, I'm not, obviously I just threw it over there".
Livid, I mean it ruined her whole day.
She, she fiercely angry, and I go "If it bothers you so bad pick it up and put it in the trash
can", so she did, picked it up and put it in the trash can, and 10 minutes later I smoked
another cigarette, threw it on the ground again, she goes "Now you're just doing this
to piss me off" you know.
I'm like "Noo, no I'm doing it because that's what I do with my cigarette butts, if it bothers
you so much pick it up", uhm you know "Live in your own eh reality".
Uhm I'm sounding like such a prick up here, but that's OK 'cause I am one.
Mother's gonna be so proud of yer, I'm gonna be proud of yer too, the whole circus is gonna
be proud of yer, now what d'ya think of that?
Swallow it.
I was 21 when I got the part, but I was playing like 16, and I, I had a lot of scenes with
Jeri Ryan.
*Laughter* And just a lot of tight 2 shots where you're just, you're just right there,
you know, and you, and I was 21, did I mention what I...
*Laughter* and it's very *sighs* it's something that, it's not shared a lot, but it's very
hard to hide an erection in a starfleet uniform.
*Laughter* clap, clap.
*Laughter* And so most of my memories are, are of just running off set for this reason
or that reason.
*Laughter* To get a bagel, or I gotta go to the bathroom, or I gotta go talk to you know,
to get rid of my boner.
What's your number?
*laughter* Uhm am I single?
Yeah essentially I am, pretty much.
Look at this thing.
*laughter* I mean that, that's something to be proud of.
*laughter* Seriously.
You put in a lot of work.
Yeah I mean I put a lot into that.
Obviously.
Look at that.
Manu Intiraymi stars in *laughter* Belly.
*laughter* Just one more piece of pizza Manu.
*laughter* Oh please feed me buddy.
Thankyou buddy.
That would be the whole movie.
Yes.
If you were in Voyager right now your character would be Ichub.
Ichub instead of Icheb?
Yeah.
*laughter* That's how slow it's moving up there,
eh I had to repeat the joke to get the joke.
Haha haha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ya know, these pigeons they chirp *laughter* Boom.
Well actually I don't have an unusual first name, my first name is John, as is my brothers,
as is my Dad's, as is my Grand... as is my Grandpa's on my Dad's side, as is my Great-great
grandpa's on my Dad's side, and interestingly enough my Mum's brother is named John, my
Mum's sister married a man named John, uhm so there, family reunions are great because
if "John you have a phone call",, and 12 of us all run together.
No shit.
Uhm so my first name is John just because it's a family tradition, also my Dad being
French he figured, you know Michon Keigan, but my Dad is John Marcelle, I'm John Keegan,
my brother is John Owen, uhm but because 3 John's in the house that wouldn't make any
sense, so my Mum insisted "No, they're having regular names, we're not going to all be John".
Uhm so my name?
somebody suggested it, somebody uhm, you know what I met the man, and I, and I forget it,
it was at a dinner party or something, my Mum was pregnant at the time, they said "Yeah
I don't know, we don't have a name, we don't have a name", he said "What about Keegan?"
they said "Oh yeah that's good", whereas my brother, he was like 6 by the time we named
him.
*laughter* We just called him Baby, well I mean we still call him Baby, but I mean na,
he was, but he was a good like 6 months by the time we named him, we tried Colin, we
tried Dashal, my Dad thought it would be really cool if his name was Dash de Lancie, he thought
that would be great, but then of course my Dad thinking ahead thought 'You know what,
what if he's not fast, then he'll be made fun of",
but he is fast, but whatever, so we finally settled on Owen, and that seemed to stick,
but we have you know video tapes of me going "I wanna go play with Baby", and things like
that 'cause we didn't name my brother.
Is he a fan of English soccer?
Fraid not.
Owen is also another Liverpool footballer aswell, so he is a fan of English football.
He's a closet fan of English soccer.
No, I know you'd think it was all Liverpool connected, but I'm afraid it's not, it's eh,
uhm, I mean I'm totally into soccer, champions league stuff, yeah sorry, eh yes.
He's just so good looking and I don't have to be gay to say I, I would.
Alright let's see ya blow a square one pal.
Cool, we're gonna auction things, ho ho.
We're gonna auction something very special, uhm a lot of people have been asking me what
it's really like to be you know living with Q? and all sorts of, do we keep deep dark
secrets? and things like that
GET OUT.
Oh sorry young lady, no more stories like this, but uhm…
And I guess if I more time I'd tell depp dark secrets about Q, but I don't, but I do have
something very special.
I can't wait to see.
Oh yes drum roll please, no something for Kate's charity which benefits alzheimers,
that eh you know is, is a very unique item, and eh I went up and got it from my Dad, Dad
you know what we need eh something to benefit Kate's charity, so he said "Go get something
from my drawer", so I did.
It is *laughter* What does it say?
To boldly go?
Oh.
I don't know, I don't know.
What's the back say?
Ahaha ha.
Now these, these are my Dad's underwear, I can vouch for that, uhm they're clean, but
they have been worn, uhm and eh they're, they're bikini style which I think are great, uhm...
And the size is?
Oh boy, the size is you'll have to buy them to find out what the size is.
JUST GIVE ME THE ANSWER JESUS.
Say that's very, very clever.
Oh my God.
*laughter* I.. that's £2.10 over there, that's £2.10 going once, and, and think about this
long and hard people because this is a one of a kind item, that's £2.10, £2.10 and,
and I'll throw in my pair too, why not?
Hey they're clean I hope.
£2.10?
I think it's a £2.10.
Yay, yay.
We got £2.10 going once, twice and sold.
Come on up.
*applause* Come on and get your new underwear.
Well it does say to boldly go doesn't it so.
*applause*
Oh you think that's special?
Check this out.
*laughter*
Big deal.