This US warship just trolled China
The future of war is in space
And Burger King is accused of making a racist ad
At least no one’s accusing them of making a decent burger.
That and more on this week’s China news headlines.
This is China Uncensored.
I’m Chris Chappell.
This week’s China news headlines.
Last month, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo
visited the Philippines.
While there, he said the US would back the Philippines
in the event of any armed attack in the South China Sea,
based on their mutual defense treaty.
And now it seems like the US
is putting muscle behind that statement.
This week, the US sent a warship carrying
fighter jets near the Scarborough Shoal.
That’s territory both China and the Philippines claim.
The sighting was first reported by Filipino television.
“But on the fifth hour of sailing,
everyone was roused from their naps by a new site.
An aircraft carrier not three miles away,
launching and landing its planes
to the wonder of the watching fisherman.”
Wow, that’s incredible.
That looked just like the Filipino fishing boat
I took to the Scarborough Shoal.
The ship those fishermen saw was the USS Wasp.
It’s reported to be carrying an unusually large number of F-35Bs.
That’s the latest American stealth fighter plane.
But the Wasp was carrying another secret weapon —
Ant Man.
Okay, look.
It’s not always easy to add jokes to these stories.
The Wasp was sailing to annual military drills with the Philippines.
It comes shortly after protests from the Philippine government
over 200 Chinese ships near another disputed island.
Maybe I need to go back to the South China Sea.
And speaking of disputed territories, Taiwan.
China is very sensitive about its territorial claim
to what is essentially an entire country.
So when the London school of Economics displayed this,
a sculpture by Mark Wallinger called
‘The World Turned Upside Down’...
...some people freaked out.
Why?
Because China was colored in yellow,
and Taiwan was colored in pink.
Implying it’s a separate country.
China is very sensitive about maps,
since that’s how it makes a lot of territorial claims.
Which is why,
inside China,
there’s been a crackdown on politically incorrect maps.
Anyway, a group of Chinese international students,
I’m sure completely independently from the Chinese consulate,
complained.
And the UK university decided to immediately give in.
But then it became international news.
And now they’ve clarified,
“No final decisions have been reached.”
Because this is a hard decision to make?
Honestly, though,
I’m just upset they put Australia at the top.
Speaking of even more territories
the Chinese Communist Party is ruining,
Hong Kong.
Remember the Umbrella Movement a few years ago?
I do.
For 79 days, protesters,
mainly students and mostly peaceful,
occupied a few main roads in Hong Kong
to demonstrate for democracy.
Their symbol was a yellow umbrella,
since they were using umbrellas
to fend off the tear gas
Hong Kong police were throwing at them.
Clearly a menace to society.
That’s why 9 prominent leaders of the movement
have just been found guilty of causing a nuisance
and inciting others to do the same.
Causing a nuisance can mean up to 7 years in jail.
Just kidding.
Each charge of causing a nuisance means 7 years in jail.
Hong Kong’s doing fine under Chinese rule.
Acting Defense Secretary Patrick M. Shanahan
is warning that the next war
will be won or lost in space.
My gosh, lost in space, that’s terrifying!
That reboot was terrible.
Speaking at the 35th Space Symposium
in Colorado Springs, Colorado,
Shanahan said,
“Because of [China and Russia’s] actions,
space is no longer a sanctuary—
it is now a warfighting domain.
This is not a future or theoretical threat;
this is today’s threat.”
But even though Russia was mentioned,
Shanahan made it clear that China is the real threat.
“We wake up much more worried about China
every day than we do about Russia in space.
Long term,
China is the one that we’re worried about.
And it’s China cyber,
it’s China space,
it’s China hypersonics—
it’s the whole package for China.”
Which is so strange,
because I saw in the movie Valerian,
which was cosponsored by a Chinese production company,
that China will lead space exploration in the future!
I guess Hollywood is paving the way
for the Chinese Communist Party.
Speaking of space,
earlier this week the world got a look at
the first-ever photo of a black hole.
Which looks like...a black hole.
But the important part is state-run China Daily
would like you to please remember that
none of this would have been possible without China.
And also that this black hole has been
part of Chinese territory since ancient times.
And apparently an F-35 fighter plane has gone missing.
If you have any knowledge of its whereabouts,
please contact Japan.
Japan lost contact with one of its F-35s 84
miles off the east coast of Japan.
And uh, China and Russia
have a lot of naval patrols out that way so...
better find it quick.
Tom Moore,
an expert on Russia and weapons tweeted,
“there is no price too high in this world
for China and Russia to pay to get Japan’s missing F-35,
if they can.”
Retired US Air Force Lieutenant General David Deptula
told Business Insider, “Both China and Russia
have excellent reconstruction/reverse engineering/copying skills,
particularly the Chinese as they are masters at it.”
But it might not be as bad as you think.
For one, “The jet’s all-important software and programming
would likely be hard to reconstruct given
not only the likely damage from the crash
and salt water in [the] Pacific
but also the way that the jet’s sensitive systems
are designed to be very hard to decipher and reverse engineer.”
Also, China hacked the F-35 design years ago.
See?
No problem.
Huawei is the Chinese telecommunications company
the United States government is warning everyone
is a giantatic national security risk.
And now Huawei has a new ally:
a senior cyber security expert
who used to work for the White House.
Huawei has hired Samir Jain
to lobby on their behalf.
Jain used to be the associate deputy US attorney general.
And he was also a National Security Council advisor
under the Obama administration.
According to the disclosure filing,
“He’ll lobby on foreign investment,
government purchasing and ‘security-related issues
arising under the National Defense Authorization Act.’”
And finally,
yet another Western company is in trouble
for using chopsticks in their ads.
A New Zealand franchise of Burger King
posted this video on Instagram.
Eating a burger with chopsticks is hard.
It’s the new Vietnamese Sweet Chilli Tendercrisp Burger.
I am disgusted.
No, not because of the ad.
I mean, look at this thing.
“Social media users in China demanded an apology,
saying Burger King had made a mockery
of Asian customs and dining etiquette.”
The same thing happened a few months ago
over a Dolce and Gabbana ad.
All I can say is stick a fork in me, I’m done.
What do you think about this week’s headlines?
Leave your comments below.
And now it’s time for me to answer a question
from one of you—
a fan who support China Uncensored
with a dollar or more per episode,
by contributing through Patreon.
Charlie Matsubara asks,
“Who would win in an arm wrestling match?
Presitator vs King Chris?”
That’s a very good question
and I’d love to get an answer to it myself.
I am assuming I’m King Chris in this scenario.
I’ve been trying to get an interview
with Chinese Presitator Xi Jinping
since at least 2015,
when I tried to meet him during his stay
at the Waldorf Astoria in New York.
It didn’t go as planned.
Security told me I was banned
from the Waldorf Astoria for life.
Now I’m a pretty good arm wrestler.
Why, I even beat US Congressman Dana Rohrabacher.
You know, maybe that’s why Xi hasn’t shown up.
He’s afraid I’m going to lay the smackdown on him.
So here’s what: Xi Jinping,
I know you’re listening,
I’m agreeing to arm wrestle you with my left arm.
Whenever you’re ready for that interview,
I’ll be waiting.
Send me a fax.
Thanks for your question, Charlie.
And thank you to all my 50-Cent Army soldiers
who support China Uncensored.
It’s only because of your support
that we’ve been able to cover topics
that most other media don’t want to,
because they prefer to get advertising dollars,
rather than criticize the Chinese Communist Party.
Once again, I’m Chris Chappell.
See you next time.