(Thump Thump Thump Thump ahh, Thump Thump Thump Thump ahh) (Playing with spoons music.)
[S] This week's Music Monday is the will dance for food edition with U-Kiss' 'Standing Still'.
"Because I'm on fire, but you keep on standing still, you keep on standing still".
U-Kiss was in first place for two weeks in a row on our Kpop Charts.
They pretty much made it to first place the day their song was released and then we did Lee Hi last week.
(Cough) But we're doing U-Kiss this week, right guys? Huzzah!
And we're happy to be doing this song. This is a totally awesome song.
Seriously. It doesn't waste anytime in being awesome.
It starts off with a very sexy dirty Electro beat, and then it bleeds into an acoustic guitar,
which, I usually think wouldn't fit this kind of song, but it is perfect for the song.
The chorus as well is freaking fantastic. Everyone's voice sounds wonderful here,
and everything flows together fantastically. It's just a great great song.
The video, though, is really lacking in comparison to the song.
We're just kind of upset that this is such a great song
with a video that doesn't match the level of awesomeness at all.
It's like they just recreated one of their old videos, and I thought they were past that part in their careers.
I mean, we've joked a lot about how U-Kiss always looked like they were homeless in their music videos:
living underground like mole children.
(OMG. How cold is it?! Get them a heater!!!) But now they're back to being homeless again.
And it's not even us reaching and forcing the meaning of homelessness on them this time.
They literally have a freakin' barrel on fire in the background!!!!
A barrel on fire, aka a 'hobo candle', is like the symbol for universal hoboness. (Seriously: Google "hobo fire")
Do you know how many other choices they could have gone with?
They could have had candles to represent fire, they could have had blow torches,
U-Kiss could have been dressed up in like firemen gear.
Which would have gone in a totally different route now that I think about that.
And dancing in front of a rickety, metal fence with random street signs is more proof of homelessness.
Wait a second, what does that sign say? Enhance.
Enhance. Enhance. Mmmmm, : No standing anytime, even sundays. Wait! It all makes sense now!
If I know my Korean bylaws correctly and I'm pretty sure that I do. (Lies!)
It seems that U-Kiss is exercising their squatters rights by dancing on the spot nonstop. (Daytime dancing, same location...)
(Nighttime dancing, Same location...Conserving energy.)They even have the little shuffle step when they stop their big dance moves,
so they can say, "Hey, I'm not standing. I'm dancing, see?
According to bylaw 23 of the Korean penal code:
An individual can live in an abandoned building without paying rent for as long as they want as long as they dance continuously. (Typewriter Clicking)
Yes, Korea does have funny laws.
(Note: Police search lights) If the police find the tenant not paying rent and not dancing,
the tenant will be removed from the premises and fined up to 100,000 won. (Typewriter clicking)
Ha! It all makes sense now. We should have figured it out earlier when we heard the pre-released version of the song.
(Martina autotuned) Because you'll get fined, if you keep on standing still.
I have to admit, I liked the orginal version better.
It spoke more to the plight of the people.
Ok. Enough about the set. We do have a question, which I'm sure many of you also asked.
And that was, what was the point of that girl? Does she have any relation to the video whatsoever?
She's just like hiding in a pool and then touching herself
as she stares at the camera with her super realistic looking contact lenses.
It's almost as if the video got intercepted by a U-Kiss fangirl who secretly edited herself into the video. (We're talking about Meemers here, right?)
It's a shame because she edited out some good parts of the video to fit herself in.
(Deleted U-Kiss MV Footage)
(Director's Notes: CGI, remove extra hobo) (Director's Notes: Hobo blocking U-Kiss)
(the dance) (Spoon playing music, guys.)
So this was pretty much a dance version of a music video, but I didn't find it repetive or boring at all.
And, that can easily happen when a music video just focuses on dancing.
I thought the contrast of the sharp and quick thrusting dance was balanced out really nicely by the slower, fluid movements.
And I loved the simple, hands in the pocket, toe-tapping dance,
which reminded me of Batoost's Fiction. (It's Beast, B2ST ok?)
And I especially enjoyed the choreography, where U-Kiss divides into like two lines.
They almost look like wind-up toy soldiers playing drums.
It was totally different in the dance from the chorus,
which to me, looked like an advertisment for sexy heartburn medicine.
[S] Ohhh! ooooo! [M] Oooh my gosh, Simon, what's wrong?
It's my heartburn. I knew I shouldn't have had that burrito covered in jalapeños covered in Dok Bok Ki sauce covered in curry
and dipped in Bacardi 151. It's a bad idea.
[M] Is it on fire? [S] It's so on fire! [M] Well, don't worry. You should try this. 'Standing Still'
It'll...keep the fire down. (Stand Still~ "Keep The Fire Down")
Just one spoon is all it will take.
Thanks, I'll give it a shot. (Silently laughing when struggling to open the Ranch, come on, you know what it really is)
(Cricket noises) Mmmmm. Delicious. Wow!!! I'm really feeling the fire go down.
(In a soothing voice) Keep the fire down. Ooo ahh, Ooo ahh.
(The English) (More spoon playing music)
As for the English of the song, I give this a.... 5 out of 5.
Everything is perfectly fine with the English as well.
The chorus pronounces the word 'still' without any issues, which definitely could have been an issue,
with the mispronouncing of either an 'i' or an 'l'.
There was even Eli's rap part, which doesn't have any problems with it at all because after all, Eli speaks English fluently.
I just have no freaking idea of what they are actually talking about.
"So cold when you do it to me like that." When you do what to me?
Frostbite? And what lies are "this"?
You know, I read the lyrics ten times over and all I could get from it is that U-Kiss feel trapped
and are not being helped out of this endless maze, and someone hides kerosene,
and bones are burning, and somebody's standing still?
Really? What is this song about?
I don't know, but if you ask me, it sounds like the ramblings of a crazy homeless person I used to see in the streets of Toronto.
(Gasp!) So the lyrics do match the video. Great job U-Kiss... in some crazy messed up way.
(The showdown) (Again, spoon playing music)
For last week's show down we asked you which bizarre food video you prefered?
Lee Hi's in "It's Over" or Super Junior's "Cooking Cooking".
And the winner was an obvious one... Super Junior.
That video is so bizarre, that I think one day we might be able to put it up against TVXQ's "Balloons"
and make the world explode.
For this week's foot shuffle edition, we ask you which foot shuffle dance you preferred.
U-Kiss' in "Standing Still" or Batoost/B2ST's in "Fiction".
Both so make it heartwarming.
Leave your toe-tapping votes in the toe-tapping comments and we'll announce the winners next week.
If there is a video you want to see us to do for next week's Kpop Music Mondays,
head over to the EYK website and vote there!
We close our polls Saturday at midnight
we'll pick one video out of the top three to review.
Also, we just crossed the 300,000 subscriber mark over the weekend,
and we posted a video to thank you all for subscribing.
We're also giving away a bunch of CDs to celebrate,
so check out that video if you haven't seen it yet.
One of the CDs that we're giving away is a U-Kiss CD so that's appropriate.
Lastly, don't forget to like and favorite this video
and to subscribe for more Music Mondays, take it away homeless Spudgy!
Thanks for watching Kpop Music Mondays of EYK! (The end of the spoon playing music)